Things to do at school:
- Turn your desk/chair to face the back of the room.
- Wear a lab coat to a chemistry exam.
- Do a projectile motion experiment with any nearby object in a physics exam.
- Be smart and use complex numbers in the calculus section.
- Write “question booklet” on your answer booklet in your reading time, then start the exam early. When told off, explain that you were writing in the question booklet. (You are allowed to make notes in the question booklet in some exams as long as it doesn’t have defined areas for answers underneath).
- Spill water on all the desks before the exam.
- Super glue a sheet with all the formulas and examples onto all the desks.
- Super glue sheets with information on the bottom of all the desks except yours and then scream “CHEAT!” during the exam. Insist that the supervisors look under the desks.
- Hide in the cupboard during an exam that you aren’t required to do. Make tapping noises, and hold the door shut so the supervisors can’t open it.
- If your school has buildings on stilts, crawl under them and thump the floor.
- If there are computers with speakers in the room, create a really long wave file that plays a tone, very slowly increasing in volume from zero.
- Leave a really strong smelling thing behind the cupboards, either a stink bomb or strong deodorant.
- Keep some butanoic acid from a chemistry experiment and spill some on the floor before the exam.
- Mix all your waste products from a chemistry practical together to make weird chemicals.
- Fill the sink with water and tip all the sodium into it.
- Heat the metal mesh on a tripod stand to red hot with the Bunsen burner.
- Hook up an 0.7mm mechanical pencil lead (around 1-2cm length) to the 12V variable power supply and turn it up to 6V to make an in air light bulb!
- Hook up a full length 0.5mm mechanical pencil lead to the 12V variable power supply and turn it up until it explodes into smithereens. (The lead, that is).
- Annoy everyone by playing 17 500Hz tones with the oscillator during a physics practical.
- Start a paper plane war in your religious studies class.
- Blow into a plastic recorder as hard as you can during your music class.
- Leave all the amps turned right up and off so when someone uses the electric guitar, the whole school knows.
- Leave all audio devices at school turned right up and off.
- During school yard kick to kick Australian Rules footy, boot the ball up as high as you can and see if it lands on anyone’s head.
- During school yard kick to kick Australian Rules footy, kick the ball hard and low all the time.
- Kick the ball as far as you can so people always have to go and get it.
- Tackle whoever gets the ball, even if they take a mark.
- Hog the footy for as long as you can.
- Grab the footy and run away.
- Kick the ball onto the roof.
- Kick the ball at a teacher.
- Play footy in the classroom.
- Turn up the keyboard accompanying beats.
- Play hot cross buns in all keys loud on the piano.
- Hide a loud portable music player in your locker and leave it turned up with really annoying songs playing.
- Put tiny scrunched up bits of paper in the laser part of the optical mice at school.
- Disconnect cables on things but leave them just hanging in the socket so they look like they’re still connected.
- Change the colours on the monitors until they are green, red, blue, yellow, too dark, too bright and then change the geometry to upside down, really small, too big, pincushion, etc.
- Change the GPU setting to display 16 colours.
- Change the resolution to 320 by 240 pixels.
- Change the resolution to the largest possible.
- Copy a file until it fills up the hard drive on a computer.
- Open up heaps of windows before someone gets on your computer.
- Turn the monitor around to face the wall.
- Turn the monitor upside down.
- Turn the computer upside down.
- Tangle up all the cords.
- Copy heaps of games onto all the computers.
- If your school has designated computer games sessions, go to them and do work.
- Go to a computer games session and play solitaire.
- Leave unreadable floppy disks in the drives so they make really annoying sounds.
- Unhook the little rubber band that connects the two pullies together to open the CD drives.
- Padlock a mouse to the CD-ROM tray.
- Always leave Caps Lock on.
- Take away the button so it can’t be turned off.
- Remove the Enter buttons.
- Remove the Backspace button.
- Configure the mouse so that its motion is unusable and the buttons are switched.
- Fill the desktop with over 100 items so that they can’t fit on the screen. If the person deletes the visible ones, they will get a surprise next time they log on!
- If the class has under-desk drawers, mix them all up.
- Swap the places of everyone’s bags.
- When playing cricket, always throw the bat when taking a swing.
- Bowl full tosses for every ball.
- Bowl a lot of wides.
- Be a “chucker”.
- Baseball pitch instead of bowling.
- Kick the ball back to the bowler when fielding.
- Always throw the ball hard at the wickets.
- Overthrow as far as you can.
- Always lob the ball over the wicket keeper.
- Defend the ball back to the bowler for as long as possible.
- Try and hit six on every delivery.
- Always play the sweep shot.
- Use the bat the wrong way around.
- Write funky things on the toilet walls.
- Poke people randomly.
- Make out that you are a quadruple black belt in karate.
- Think you’re so cool because you can do skids on the grass.
- Tell everyone you talk to each day that they think they’re so cool somewhere in conversion.
- Randomly put in a conversation “you’re a (insert word of your choice)”.
- Hand in all tasks within one day of receiving them, fully finished.
- Never hand in any tasks, leave them lying around for the teacher to find.
- Keyboards with hot keys for email, search, internet, etc. are useful for annoying people by pressing them heaps when they are doing work.
- Wear ridiculous clothes to class.
- Never pack up your experiments.
- Take out all the mouse balls and leave them on the teacher’s desk.
- Call everyone an eejit until they find out what it means.
- Bring a plastic gun to school.
- Bring a plastic sword to school.
- Dress up in a play suit of armour, etc. and pretend that you are on a mission from God.
- Make a bazooka out of a large cardboard tube.
- Flick tightly folded pieces of paper at people with strong rubber bands.
- Tape two rulers (wooden) together in a cross and chuck them around the school yard.
- Bring a 5” floppy disk to school and try and put it in the CD-ROM drive.
- Attack everyone with a cardboard sword or bat.
- Using a thick piece of card, make a dart and put a notch in the front so you can use a rubber band to propel it.
- Play cricket with the bat tennis bats.
- Invent new games.
- Play “brandy” with a medicine ball.
- Play “kick ball” with a footy.
- Do the hammer throw with a mouse.
- Play bowls with the shot puts and discus’.
- Do the hammer throw with a hammer.
- Practice your swimming in the sand pit.
- Throw sand at everyone. Put it down their shirts.
- Wet everyone with your drink bottle.
- Attack things with sticks.
- Have an acorn war.
- Throw spiky green conkers at everyone.
- Climb up trees.
- Hide somewhere and make weird noises.
- Have a camp fire in the sand pit.
- Try and make a swimming pool.
- Dig down as far as you can in the sand pit, through the black plastic into the dirt.
- If you ever get the chance to use a spear thrower and spear, throw the spear thrower further than the spear. You may find that this is quite easy.
- Attempt to throw the spear thrower thrower.
- Always start “I know you know I know that you don’t know that I know that you don’t know I know that you don’t know what I’m talking about”, or “I know you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that you think that you are so awesome”.
- Think that you are so awesome.
Yours?
