[Colonol Dekker]

First a summary-
Recently I managed to form a relationship at work an older woman (35, I'm 27) who is widely regarded as one of the 'top 5' no mean feat if you consider that the building houses no less than four and a half thousand people. I put this down to familiarity, initial attraction, similar interests, overt confidence and a touch of youth. - I'm a very chatty person and quite smooth under the right conditions. I was getting everything, emotional and physical satisfaction. No complaints from her, no complaints from me. The term 'clicked' was made for us. No less than two weeks after I did what I always do and ended it based on a variety of reasons none of which make sense in hindright. As a quick pre-note I'm the proud owner of an A grade in A-Level psychology so any quips on that note are redundant, the only reason I didn't attend university is because I was overly eager to join up which yielded six years of proud service in the British Army. Intelligence is not an issue.
 
Now the crux of the post.
 
I'm perfectly capable of settling, for those not in the know I'm a divorced dad of two. Split at the humble age of 22. The woman was a tad unfaithful. Understandable, I was away for quite a while. That's unrelated and I'm simply stating that I can commit. Five years is an age and I'm old enough and have put this behind me long ago.
 
I guess I just enjoy freedom of choice. I'm not thirty yet and enjoy going out with my mates and ' testing the water' as it were. There will be plenty of time for that when I'm thirty. For the record I got married young. We're talking boy soldier days here. So I think I may be trying to re-experience some lost youth.
There isn't much point to this. I was just wondering away on the train where the heck my life's going and thought it'd make for some interesting discussion.
 
I'm not EVER going into my injuries. So don't ask.

[Rian]

So do you feel like it's a problem or don’t you? Do you think you're sabotaging relationships that you would really prefer to continue, or are you reasonably happy with short-term arrangements for the moment?

Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping things light if that's where your life is right now. You may want to make sure your partners are on board with this, so as to minimize disappointment all around, but if commitment isn't your thing at the moment then go with what works. 27 is pretty young, all things considered (though, granted, still older than me ), and it seems like you have time to sort out what you're looking for. The only problem I can see is that it may be a little more difficult to find people in the age group you seem to favor who are similarly inclined to keep things casual, but you don't seem to have much trouble there.

So basically, if this feels like a problem to you then maybe you should take a good look at whatever impulse is making you withdraw from these relationships. But if you're happy and satisfied with the relationships you have, however brief, then just go with it and try to find partners who are looking for the same thing.

[Colonol Dekker]

I've got a neutral opinon on it Rain, i have no idea how old you are but.....................

That is EXACTLY what i needed to hear, excellent. At best i'm happy, at worst i thought i was being a bit stuck in the past with regards to "Sod stability" but i can happily continue now i've had some validation from a member of the "opposing team" (no offense)..



You consistently impress me with the insight into RL situations and responses. GB had better appreciate. Smoothies/Milkshakes etc.

 

Discussion still open to all, although i'm pretty content (as mentioned) feel free to continue.

[General Battuta]

Dude, we actually were just going to get milkshakes.

[Colonol Dekker]

 

No worries, lol.
Topic stands.

[Liberator]

Hmm, could be a variant of Asperger's Syndrome, or not as you don't seem to have problems forming intimate relationships, merely retaining them.

[redsniper]

Frakking.... not everyone who's a little off-kilter has Asperger's.

[QuantumDelta]

Frakking.... not everyone who's a little off-kilter has Asperger's.

People (amateurs) make self-associations when they jump to conclusions in making diagnoses.

[General Battuta]

Hmm, could be a variant of Asperger's Syndrome, or not as you don't seem to have problems forming intimate relationships, merely retaining them.

No.

It's definitely not Asperger's.

Not remotely.

A single glance at the DSM-IV criteria would establish that.

(I) Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

      (A) marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
      (B) failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
      (C) a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interest or achievements with other people, (e.g.. by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
      (D) lack of social or emotional reciprocity

(II) Restricted repetitive & stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:

      (A) encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
      (B) apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
      (C) stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g. hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
      (D) persistent preoccupation with parts of objects


(III) The disturbance causes clinically significant impairments in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

(IV) There is no clinically significant general delay in language (E.G. single words used by age 2 years, communicative phrases used by age 3 years)

(V) There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age-appropriate self help skills, adaptive behavior (other than in social interaction) and curiosity about the environment in childhood.

Dekker is about as far from this as he can get given that he's all over the relationships at peer level (ahead of the curve if anything.)

[Nuke]

i think i have that.

i tend to **** up relationships pretty quickly. they all just realize im bat**** insane and move along. i should just stick with hookers.

[Liberator]

Well, since I don't have, have never had and probably never will have an intimate relationship, perhaps I'm projecting my own supposition about myself.  I was trying to find the wiki article that I read about a disorder where people, mostly white males, have an inability to form complex personal relationships with anyone.  Said people don't have friends, mates or children and it's often coupled with clinical depression since we are all socialized/genetically programmed  to need companionship, but I couldn't find it.

Everyone needs a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on, as they say.

[Nuke]

or a hole to ****

like i said, hookers.

[blackhole]

The syndromes to Asperger's syndrome can manifest themselves in practically any mental health problem, and so unless you have practically ALL of the symptoms listed, it is highly unlikely that you have it.

People will not stop trying to diagnose me with that stupid syndrome and I know I don't have it.

[Stormkeeper]

Probably not Asperger's.

... Might be Dekkerger's.

[Colonol Dekker]

Technically that's alchaholism

[StarSlayer]

[NRA Voice]
Boose doesn't kill relationships, people do!

You can take this Hefeweizen out of my cold dead hand.
[/NRA Voice]

[Colonol Dekker]

I'm actually shocked. I've never heard of that beer!
 

[StarSlayer]

Hefeweizen is just the type; specifically refers to wheat beer in its traditional, unfiltered form. I personally like Helles Hefe Weiss brewed by Tucher.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheat_beer

[Thaeris]

What does the NRA have to do with alcohol?

[Stormkeeper]

I think StarSlayer copied their "Guns don't kill, people do" advert.