Author Topic: Tales from the Clubroom - Silly Inconsequential JAD Stories  (Read 3137 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Axem

  • Administrator
  • 211
Tales from the Clubroom - Silly Inconsequential JAD Stories
Tales from the Hyper Galactic Friendship Fighting Fusion Force Ultra Union Club Room (or just "Tales from the Club Room") are a collection of totally irrelevant fluffy stories that have zero to do with any actual plot, character development or non-status-quo like conditions. While these all nebulously take place during JAD2.22 (not yet released), there's no "spoilers" or connections with JAD2.22. Just a wierd group of friends dealing with things like recieving anonymous love letters, making new friends, and being put on trial.

The Tales

Tales from the Clubroom updates monthly!!
« Last Edit: July 18, 2014, 07:10:19 pm by Axem »


Offline Axem

  • Administrator
  • 211
Re: Tales from the Clubroom
Before we actually get into the real Tales, maybe you haven't played JAD2.21 (yet). Maybe you have no idea who these weird characters are (and mind you there are a lot of them). So then, let's give some introductions to our primary power movers: Holley and Delta 1. Here's a pair of stories that will lead into their real first non-prologue missions in the next release of JAD2.21.

Meet Holley

"Holley? How about you?" A voice asked.
The class went silent.
"Huh?" Holley had been turned around at her desk, talking with Meddy, one of her friends. The voice calling her was the teacher. He had a long and complicated last name, so everyone just called him Mr. K. Holley looked around and saw all eyes were on her. Ah, she thought, I know exactly what's going on. Holley had a reputation of forgetting her homework, though she preferred the term ignore.
Mr. K had been picking on Holley for the last week to shame her and to humiliate her by asking to share pointless homework assignments that would never be needed again. Literary analysis of the Proto-Neo-Terran plays: boring! Geography of Vasuda Prime: worthless! Holley was waiting. Waiting for the right moment to strike. One day she would have her homework done, and she would show that teacher she wasn't some dumb air-headed girl! She was unaware, of course, that this was the plan all along.
Holley got up from her desk with a piece of holopaper and began to walk with great strides to the front. The short blonde girl began to radiate an almost visible aura of invincibility. "Could this be the day?" The students began to murmur. Holley arrived at the front of the class. Her bright blue eyes focused on the teacher. She grinned. Holley then turned to the class, and took a deep breath.
"Alpha 1. Biggest hero? Or Greatest Hero?" Holley began, louder than usual. "For a man who has saved our universe from everything that could be thrown at it, he defies labels and titles. He knows no discrimination! No prejudice! He saves Terran and Vasudan alike, from the forces of evil and the corrupt! That is why he is my hero! One day I will meet him, we will become best friends, and he will become my husband! We will go on adventures all across the universe! We will save it from destruction! Spread the ideals that our fathers and mothers have instilled into us: Freedom! Love! And uh..." Holley stumbled for a second. She was missing her second page. Shoot, what was the third one? Holley mentally cursed at the giant drawing of her and Alpha 1 that took up most of the page. It really belonged on its own cover page, anyway.
"Justice!" Meddy called out from the back of  the class.
"Right, justice!" Holley would have to ad-lib the rest.
Mr. K took the momentary pause to interrupt. "Very nice speech, Holley." He said with a slightly confused expression on his face. Could it be the face of defeat? It quickly changed to a frown once again. "Except I was more interested in your math homework. The hero essay was from a month ago."
Foiled again?! No! Holley would spin this around, somehow. "And until Alpha 1 returns I will continue my homework strike! Such a poor girl like me cannot continue on while in such deep despair! You can't give a failing grade to such a brave political prisoner like me!"
"See me after class, Holley." The mentally exhausted teacher had heard enough. Holley began walking back to her desk, slouched over her single holo-paper.
The lights suddenly went dim, and then red. Sirens began to blare.
"Hostile entities are projected to arrive in our immediate area," A voice came from the intercom. "This is not a drill. All students and staff, please proceed with Evacuation Plan Zeta 56." The normal reaction to that would be fear or panic, but everyone seemed more annoyed or just blasé about it.
"What, again?" Someone in the class cried out. They evacuated last week when a space pigeon got too close to a radar station.
Holley just smiled. She had a different feeling about this one. So what if she was bad at homework? She had other strengths: Fighter flying! All those hours in the space sim were about to pay off. Today was really the day she would show them! She just had one last obstacle before she could prove her might on the galactic stage.
Her father.

And of course when you play the mission after you'll see why Holley's fears are a little inflated!

Meet Delta 1

"Sheriff of a frontier system?"
"Pass." he said.
"Guest lecturer for Disco Technical University?"
"Nope." he rejected again.
"Test pilot..."
Oh, now that was interesting. But still: "No." Delta 1 faced his agent with a bored look. "C'mon man. I know you've got something bigger than all of this. Don't give me this 'I'm just a one man show' stuff." He leaned back in his chair. "I saw you meeting with those trench coat people." He ran his hand through his bright red hair. It was excellent at catching the light, gave it a good sheen. Excellent for still portraits. Delta 1 practiced these movements, he had to make sure it would look natural.
"Ha-ha. You have good perception, kind sir." His agent, Clyde Ritter said. The 40-something man with a bad suit and equally bad tie got up and put a holo-folder in front of Delta 1. "I was talking with the FRED Knossos Joint Super Defense Force."
"Who are they?" Delta 1 was still a bit skeptical, and bored. He played with the zippers on his leather jacket. "Hey, zippers are in right now, right?"
"You're riding the tail end of that wave. Inside out jackets are scheduled to be the next hit in a month. I'll send you some samples." Clyde answered. "The FKJSDF is super classified. Super high risk. But also high reward."
"What?!" Delta 1 didn't like the sound of that. He just bought his new jacket last week. "Wait, classified? That's no good either. How am I supposed to be a people's hero if no one can hear about me?"
"We're looking at getting the media embargo taken down too." Clyde reassured. "You're not the only one with that worry. Lots of endorsement deals on the way. These classified ops needs money quick and the Security Council is deadlocked over stamp collecting tariffs."
Delta 1 got up from his chair and paced around the office. He was taller than most people his own age. While he was only 19, he could pass from 22-25. 27 if he grew a beard. "Okay, this is sounding a little better. What would I be doing exactly?"
"You would be fighting more of these Beta Tester things. You know that weird beaming fighter you fought that started your rise to fame? More of that."
"Huh..." Delta 1 stopped pacing. Okay, that was easy. He could do more of that. Flying was his idea of fun. "How many Beta Testers are there?"
"Rumors say like 12 or 13. Maybe even 14 if pacing's not rushed."
"So just... 12-ish more?"
"Ah, no no. Sorry. The first two are like classified super-duper can't tell you. They're not a problem anyway. Or so I hear." Clyde looked around for anyone who might have overheard this. "Anyway, you killed the third. It just goes up from there."
"Okay, so... 9 more."
"Eh..." The agent hesitated, trying to find the right words to put together. "Again, not quite. Someone else has been in the Beta Tester killing game. They've already taken down two. It's really nothing to worry about."
"TWO?! That's twice as many as me!" Delta 1 almost began to panic. "Why didn't anyone tell me I had a rival?! Who is this? I'll stomp him!" He made a note to research dueling techniques. Would he need a good finishing move? There was too much going on.
"She's the daughter of some colonel hotshot. Nothing to worry about. She just got lucky, that's all."
"She? High profile daughter?" This changed everything. "Is she hot? Is she cute?"
"Uh, sure." Clyde pulled up a picture on a monitor. "If you're into that kind of thing. Here, that's her." Delta 1 saw a young girl with messy blonde hair, sticking her tongue out at the camera. The picture was captioned: Student ID - 105657 Holley M.
"Are they really letting 12 year olds save the universe again?" No, this didn't change anything. In fact this made things easier. These Beta Testers couldn't be THAT tough if a brat like that could defeat them.
"She's, uh, 17." Clyde turned the monitor off. "Like I said, she's nothing to worry about. Just dazzle everyone with your charm. We'll make sure she's out of the picture for your big entrance."
"Awesome." Delta 1 looked at his watch. "I got to go. Eye appointment. They said this shade of green won't look good on cameras." Delta 1 said his goodbyes to Clyde and left. As Delta 1 was leaving to the hangar he had a weird thought.
Wait, we'll make sure? Who's we?

And of course when you play the missions after, you'll see that Holley and Delta 1 become... well, close enough to friends anyway.


Offline Rodo

  • Custom tittle
  • 212
  • stargazer
    • Minecraft
    • Steam
Re: Tales from the Clubroom

I'm liking this delta 1 guy even more! Also, red haired? didn't see that one coming.
el hombre vicio...


Offline Spoon

  • 212
  • ヾ(´︶`♡)ノ
Re: Tales from the Clubroom
These are great, I love em.

[02:42] <@Axem> spoon somethings wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> critically wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> im happy with these missions now
[02:44] <@Axem> well
[02:44] <@Axem> with 2 of them


Offline niffiwan

  • 211
  • Eluder Class
Re: Tales from the Clubroom
Nice, I'm looking forward to the next instalment of HGFFFFUUCR :D
Creating a fs2_open.log | Red Alert Bug = Hex Edit | MediaVPs 2014: Bigger HUD gauges | 32bit libs for 64bit Ubuntu
Debian Packages (testing/unstable): Freespace2 | wxLauncher
m|m: I think I'm suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Bmpman is starting to make sense and it's actually written reasonably well...


Offline Axem

  • Administrator
  • 211
Re: Tales from the Clubroom
Lessons in Sharing

Delta 1 scanned the crowd, looking for that messy bright glint of hair that would lead him to his target. It didn't help matters that his target was short, quick, and had a sixth sense of avoidance. But surely he had her trapped here: it was chicken finger day at the cafeteria. Yes, he thought, Holley would never pass that up. As Delta 1 continued to scan, he found something else that might lead him to his quarry.

At a table in the far corner, he saw another girl that caught his eye. She had light green hair, done in a method that defied physics. Even from the distance he could see the A-Grade fashion sense. A distinctive laugh came from her direction as well. Yes, a girl that could only be Medria Maria Myers, one of Holley's best friends. Though to Holley, and by extension everyone else, she was just Meddy. This required a closer look.

As Delta 1 walked toward the table, he saw that Meddy was joined by two other girls. Holley other two best friends, Sherry and Harriet. Holley had to be close, if not, they had to know where she was.

"Afternoon, ladies." Delta 1 greeted the trio as he walked up to them. He slightly bowed his head and imaginary hat to them.

"Ah, very good. Service at last." Meddy greeted back. She always had such a playful voice. "I believe I was going to have the club on rye. Ah, Sherry, didn't you say you were going to have the soup of the day?"

"Oh, yes. I believe I did." Sherry confirmed with a slight smile. Sherry was a hidden treasure. Rumored to be able to ace any test, correct any teacher and outwise any 190-year old, she was be too good for this world. While those rumors came from Holley (of course), Delta 1 had seen enough to believe nearly everything. Everything about Sherry was modest and balanced. Her appearance, her demeanor, even the way she talked. "I'll also have a tuna fish sandwich to go with that." Sherry added, brushing aside her long dark hair.

"And the chicken finger special for Harriet!" Meddy said.

"Mmhmm!" Harriet nodded. Harriet was both the easiest and hardest to make of. Always happy-go-lucky, entirely honest, but also entirely a mystery and nearly impossible to read. If it wasn't for her infectious smile, it would be easy to miss her in a crowd. He was the smallest of the group, just a few hairs shorter than Holley.

"Of course," Delta 1 made note of their orders, "anything for these three beautifully lovely ladies." Backhandedly dissing Holley and hitting on her friends? This would surely expose her from hiding.

"Oh, you’re so bad." Meddy caught on quickly, "But Holley's not with us today. However thank you for stating the obvious." Meddy playfully pampered her hair.

"We haven't seen her for a few days." Sherry said with a slightly concerned expression, "I hope she is well."

"Mmhmm…" Harriet added.

Come to think of it, Delta 1 hadn't seen Holley for a few days either. Time flies when you're not being dragged into trouble.

"Now what would you be doing looking for her? Hmmm?" Meddy asked, "We're not going to help if you're out for revenge."

Delta 1 pulled up a chair and sat down at the end of the table. He began his sad tale, "Holley borrowed my Gamestation Portable. She said her batteries ran out just before some final boss. So I lent it to her and…" Delta 1 paused when he noticed Holley's friends had identical expressions of bored surprise.

"And you'll never see that again." Meddy regretfully informed Delta 1, "She probably bricked hers with a naughty firmware and knew you'd be an easy mark."

"If you do find it again, it will be in a form that you may not recognize." Sherry said next.

"Mmhmm…" Harriet said, putting in her two cents.

"Really?" Delta 1 sighed. "I was hoping it wouldn't be like that." He really should have guessed it would turn out this way.

"You have much to learn about her, don't you?" Meddy went into what would be considered a flashback pose, hand on her chin, wistfully looking away into the past. "A few years ago, I let her borrow this holo-book once. She claims she doesn't remember, but I've heard her quote from it!"

"She borrowed my glasses once to attempt to make the x-ray spectrum visible." Sherry went next. "When she returned them, the lenses would glow in the dark."

"Oh and poor Harriet!" Meddy said in a dramatic voice, "Her backpack! Borrowed for a day! Eaten by a subspace monster that shut down school for the month."

"…" Harriet remained silent, looking slightly traumatized.

Delta 1 was unsure if he should be believing some of these tales. However they seemed plausible if Holley was involved. He then suddenly realized something important, something he could take no chances with. "My save files!" He got up from his chair and bolted to save his digital progress.

"Boy, he's almost too easy." Meddy commented to the other two, "I can see why she keeps him around. But did he not think to phone her or anything?"

"He didn't get us our food." Sherry said clutching her stomach.

"That's okay. Alternate cute guy at 2 o'clock." Meddy got up, "I'll be right back."

"You are a terrible person."

"Just like Holley always says, 'food before ethics.'"

Delta 1 ran through all of Holley's normal hangouts again. The hangar, the clubroom, the holo-arcade, the park with free wireless holo-net. Nothing. He decided to try her quarters again. As Delta 1 made his way to the upscale executive living levels, he was running through a draft of his rant to Holley.

Delta 1 stood outside the suite doors, he could hear the faint sound of a holovision show playing inside. He had found her! He pressed the door chime button and waited. And waited. And waited. Oh come on, Delta 1 thought to himself, I know you're in there. He began knocking on the door.

The door finally opened. Holley stood at the door, her hair was a bigger mess than normal, her purple and green pajamas looked quite worn in. "What do you want…" She said as tired as she looked.

"Geez, Holley. It’s the afternoon, and you're just waking up now?" Delta 1 pushed Holley aside and let himself in. He was horrified at the mess he saw. Glasses everywhere, plates and bowls on the floor. "This place is such a mess. How do you live here?!" Delta 1 dared not turn the lights on, there was no telling what creatures might be startled. His mentally penned rant had escaped his mind, so he decided to cut right to the chase. "Where's my Gamestation? What did you do with it?!"

"Huh…?" Holley stumbled over to a couch. "Namestation…?"

"Gamestation!" Tossed around some trash on the floor. "Red with gold highlights. 178 hours spent in Dark Crossings!"

"Oh right, I got that." Holley walked over to a shelf littered with unorganized holo-disc covers. She picked up the red portable gaming machine and began to slowly walk back to Delta 1. "Sorry I didn't give it back sooner, but I…" Holley stopped in her tracks. "I…"


She sneezed all over the object in her hands.

"You, uh, feeling okay…?" Delta 1 said.

"Had this dumb space-cold for the past few days." Holley sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "Here." She offered Delta 1 his item.

Delta 1 froze. "You know what, you keep it. A present. A token of our friendship."

"Huh?!" Holley was getting more awake and irate by the second. "You barge in here, wake me up for this dumb thing and now you don't want it?"

"I changed my mind!" Delta 1 turned for the door. "Think of it as a keepsake of our friendship!" Did his jacket touch anything infected? You can't wash this kind of leather. He put his hand over his mouth, wait no, he handled potentially infected objects. Delta 1 could begin to see the germs attacking his bodily temple. He hit the door button and began his mad dash outside. Just as he cleared the door, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. He fell forward, head first. Holley had thrown the Gamestation Portable at the fleeing Delta 1.



Holley wiped her nose on her sleeve again before closing the door.

In the end, Delta 1's Gamestation was still intact and functional, saves and all. Delta 1 was grateful for this, especially during the next couple of days, as he too became bed-ridden with Holley's space-cold.

Delta 1 had learned a lot from this. Such as how friends can share anything. And you should phone ahead before barging into someone's home. Also following your friends on social media may clue you into whereabouts and current status. Saving your game to the cloud is a great idea too. Finally, never lend anything to Holley. Ever.

Yes, Delta 1 would never forget any of these lessons.

Next month, Holley attempts to run for School President.


Offline Rodo

  • Custom tittle
  • 212
  • stargazer
    • Minecraft
    • Steam
Re: Tales from the Clubroom
Ahhh delta 1, such a cool guy.
el hombre vicio...


Offline Axem

  • Administrator
  • 211
Re: Tales from the Clubroom
School Prez

"C'mon, just sign it," was the cry.

"Not until I see exactly what I'm signing for," was the response. Delta 1 took a hard look at this document that Holley had pushed in front of his face. The document was a student council nomination form, Holley's name was filled out at the top, along with your standard personal information. But what really caught Delta 1's eye was the position Holley was trying to get nominated for: Student Council President. "Setting your sights a little, high aren't you?"

"Always shoot for the stars right?" Holley offered a holo-pen to Delta 1. "All I need 30 signatures to be eligible, and then all bets are off…"

"I'll say," Delta 1 took the pen. "I'll sign this if you can get me a good seat to your eventual impeachment. Along with legal indemnity from any riots that may break out."

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Holley wasn't sure why Delta 1 would want to be condemned, but he was a strange person after all.

Delta 1 signed the document. While he had graduated last year and was probably ineligible to sign, he saw Holley had her goldfish sign too, so what's the harm? Delta 1 handed the document back to Holley. "So what exactly is your platform?"

"Hmmm… Mostly Personal Quantum Computers, with some GameStation leanings too," Holley replied. "I suppose I'll need to pander to the casuals, but I figure I can forget about them once I'm elected."

"No, I meant what kind of promises you offering?"

"Oh, right," Holley snapped into campaign mode. "My campaign will be all about closing school forever. We've been getting along just fine without that fascist propaganda being fed to us all day." Holley's volume was steadily increasing. "We could be doing so much more in our daily lives! The system is broken! I'm going to fix it by killing the system! Free students! Free the oppressed! VIVE QUEBEC!"

"I see," Delta 1 said to break up the stream of sound bites. "Well, I guess you better get going then. I saw you had only like 4 other signatures."

"Right!" Holley thought who to approach next. "Think Epsilon 1 will sign if I promise not to be mean to him?"

"That's probably extortion."

"Right, I can't look soft either," Holley needed to meet with her campaign brain trust.

And so Holley called a meeting for the brain trust in a secret undisclosed location: The cafeteria. Present was Holley, Meddy, the finance manager, Sherry, the speechwriter, and Harriet, the public relations manager.

"If you want to attract voters, you're going to need a better wardrobe." Meddy began. "Less hoodie sweaters, more pant suits."

"I promised myself that politics wouldn't change me," Holley said to dismiss the notion. "Next!"

"Some of these topics you would like me to insert in your speeches appear to have nothing to do with school or education," Sherry said.

"But dubs vs subs is a very important subject to me! I just know they're going to ask me that in the debate." Holley thought for a moment. "Tie it in with foreign language studies or something. NEXT! Harriet, how is my popularity going?"

"Mmmm.." Harriet handed Holley some charts showing her potential poll results. Dead last at 1%. Even Ursa-tan was polling at 7%.

"Could we steal Ursa-tan's supporters with free cake or something?" Holley wondered out loud. "I mean, I'm not saying they're all fat losers, but…"

"It may cost a little bit more than our present budget." Meddy reported.

Holley leaned back in her chair and gazed at the ceiling. "I see…" A painful silence emanated as Holley thought her next plan of attack. "How did you girls go with getting more signatures?"

"Oh perfect. Got tons!" Meddy rummaged through her bag and brought out her copy of the form. She handed it to Holley to look over. "Guys will sign anything you put in front of them, it was almost too easy."

Holley looked at the list and frowned. "These are all holo-phone numbers!" She threw the paper over her shoulder.

"Hmmm… I may have been unclear about what I was looking for…" Meddy got up to retrieve the list. She couldn't let something like that go to waste.

"I think it's time we face facts." Holley drew in close to her friends. "I don't think we can win this. We're going to have to enact the change we seek in different ways."

"Activism?" Meddy asked.

"Well written editorials?" Sherry suggested.

"Terrorism," Holley said.

All at once, Holley's friends looked at each other to telepathically signal the panic alarm. Then they all looked back at Holley with stern looks that all said the same thing, "No."

"Darn." Holley folded her arms, as well as her campaign.

In the end, the race was tight. Because of the "votes for cakes" scandal, the popular second runner, Artie Bosch, was forced to drop out early, leaving Ursa-tan a clear chance at victory. However, despite the strong showing, the winner of the student council president election was, for the fourth year in a row, Snuffleupagus.

Next month, Holley gets a love letter. Who would be crazy enough to do that?
« Last Edit: July 18, 2014, 07:22:41 pm by Axem »


Offline niffiwan

  • 211
  • Eluder Class
Re: Tales from the Clubroom - Silly Inconsequential JAD Stories

Vote One Snuffy!!!
Creating a fs2_open.log | Red Alert Bug = Hex Edit | MediaVPs 2014: Bigger HUD gauges | 32bit libs for 64bit Ubuntu
Debian Packages (testing/unstable): Freespace2 | wxLauncher
m|m: I think I'm suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Bmpman is starting to make sense and it's actually written reasonably well...