Author Topic: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself  (Read 2085 times)

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Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
If it had been left at 1 and 2, it'd be already forgotten. 

And, as The_E has stated multiple times, person 2 would have left HLP over it.  Because they did not, in fact, react well to person 1's rebuke, which is exactly why everyone else reacted the way we did.


It wouldve been forgotten after 5 minutes of conversational shift.

 

Offline General Battuta

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
I think this has mostly demonstrated that it is impossible to moderate Discord to everyone's satisfaction. When mods do less people are furious; when mods act, different people are furious. The E stepped down because he is a sensitive guy who cares about what people think of him and cannot help doing so. If he had the virtue of giving no ****s about people who obsessively bag on him due to their own mental health issues and their terror of rejection, he would probably be in a better place.

This community's habit of endlessly relitigating every moderator action for days or weeks (or clinging to it for months as proof of a literal communist conspiracy that you bring up EVEN WHEN YOUR BOOGEYMAN MOD IS NOT INVOLVED!) is ridiculous. I've been moderated plenty of times, and while I'd commit all my crimes again with glee, I don't resent the mods for it. There is a sizable fraction of the Discord community that sees 'someone leaving the Discord,' or actually being banned from it, as the worst thing that can happen-far worse than, say, calling people subhuman aborts, or arguing women belong in breeding camps. It is not. A discord is not real life. It is not a vital artery for human interchange. It is a curated conversation about a specific topic. You are there on the sufferance of the moderators for so long as you make good posts about spaceships.

The people who conflate 'moderator action' with 'bullying' are brown noise. The point of a moderator is to exert power to control a conversation.

THAT SAID

Possibly, if you are going to have a discord for talking ****, the **** talking and related actions should remain confined there. I don't know if there was a 'rally on this conversation' effect here, but I do think there was a degree of 'we need to teach mjn a lesson for his ongoing sins' effort from many people. And as I said earlier, it should've been emotionally obvious he was not in a space to learn and grow here.

 

Offline Aesaar

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
It wouldve been forgotten after 5 minutes of conversational shift.

By everyone except the new guy in question, who took it rather personally and was still thinking about it 6 hours later.

When I joined HLP in 2012, if a prominent community member had spoken to me like mjn did to that guy for a perfectly valid and perfectly polite comment about a model, I probably wouldn't have stuck around.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2021, 09:02:54 am by Aesaar »

 

Offline General Battuta

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
That point has been made, and mjn clearly accepted it. Is there any point chewing on it further?

 

Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Absolutely not.   If MJ's happy, threadlock?

 

Offline Mongoose

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
I want to give a huge second to pretty much everything Phantom Hoover said on the previous page, and Battuta also made some excellent points above. It can be incredibly frustrating performing moderation duties around here, as your every decision gets second-guessed, and far too many people feel the need to keep pushing and pushing at an issue, ensuring that small disagreements blow up into massive drama maelstroms. It breaks my heart to see The E give up his position, even though I know it's the best decision for him personally. He cares deeply about this place and has absolutely no tolerance for bull****, and his reward for that was to constantly have his name dragged through the mud by the same people causing said bull****. No one should have to put up with that. Likewise, if Mjn does decide to leave permanently, we've lost an incredibly valuable community member over a small poor decision that turned into a spectacular blow-up.

To everyone collectively, can we just...stop? Contrary to what that ancient xkcd strip suggests, it's okay to let people be wrong on the Internet, at least in the moment. The forums have a report feature, and the Discord has a moderation group to ping. Use them. If the conversation is trending in a bad way, disengage yourself and let us handle it. That's what we're here for.  Stop poking at it until everything goes to hell.

 

Offline MP-Ryan

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
And for the locking hat trick, this one too, subject to review and revision.

This thread has been unlocked but posts are restricted to those addressing Mjn constructively, commending his work, and/or wishing him well.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2021, 08:38:03 pm by MP-Ryan »
"In the beginning, the Universe was created.  This made a lot of people very angry and has widely been regarded as a bad move."  [Douglas Adams]

 

Offline DefCynodont119

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Mjn, if u are reading this i really hope u are ok.

Much like wolfe i too have mild autisim, asperger's in my case, although it's not very notisable any more, i sometimes have trouble being / making friends with people.

But for what i't worth, i think of ya as a friend, rather just some dude i work on bta for, and making bta2 with you and the team has been fun and fullfiling and i don't want to lose that.

Overall, i think you are a good person. Not perfect, but absolutly a good person and i hope your break from HLP does you well.

I will look forward to your return here. 

I would put more here but i have a flipphone and this took an hour to type.










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Offline General Battuta

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
I like you and I have empathy for your feelings, I understand where they are coming from.

 

Offline DefCynodont119

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Also mjn you have been super encurageing and helpfull to me  and i thank u for that.

Your imput improved my work and made me a better modder.




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Offline mjn.mixael

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
So it's been over a month and I specifically took this time off away from HLP after everything went down to decide if I want or even have motivation to be a part of the community and continue my various projects. I know I've been a grump at times over the years and the stress of 2020 didn't help much... but I've tried to make an effort to do better. What hurt the most about everything was how hard I was attacked (by mostly people I've barely ever spoken with or modded with) over an hours old incident that I had abandoned so I wouldn't make it worse... and then having those attacks be called "social consequences". I took much of that very personally, and got over-angry. This hiatus has helped me get a clear view.

HLP has been a daily part of my life for over a decade, but during this off time it's become clear that I don't need HLP as a creative outlet anymore. I have discovered several other healthier places for me to continue refining my craft and I'll be focusing on new projects related to those. Perhaps those individuals on the other side of all this can pick up my HLP projects where I left off. As it stands, my return is purely to continue working on BtA as the team is incredible, talented, and I do not want to abandon them just as we were hitting a stride. I may also continue pushing out updates for FSU, but that will depend on how things stand as I reconnect with those members.

I will not currently be returning to the Discord as the admin over there made it clear he doesn't want me around because we don't see eye to eye on how things happened. I've got some serious issues with that kind of community leadership, but that's not for me to decide. So if you are looking to contact me, don't look for me there.

For those of you that sent me all these private messages,



I'll be responding as I can, but thank you for your kind words. A few general responses for the ones I've read so far... It means a lot that so many of you care. I know the moderators here are trying hard to make this a better place. I applaud their effort and am grateful to those of them that specifically reached out to me and actually listened. Unfortunately I feel it may be a little too late for me. When I think about the things that were said to me publicly and privately, I still get a deep anger in my chest and I'm afraid I can't be a valuable community member here without doing the same to those individuals as they did to me. So while my presence here will be much more limited than it's ever been in the past, know that all your private support is very much appreciated.
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Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Mate, I'll publicly support you.
You're a good bloke and it'll be good to see you back, even if its in some ways less than it was before the ****storm.

 

Offline DefCynodont119

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
It's good to see you post here man.  :yes:

My gift from Freespace to Cities Skylines:  http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=639891299

 
Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Good to see you back. Please take as slowly as possible.

 

Offline Mongoose

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Glad to see you back. :yes:

 
Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
Very glad to see you back, and you very MUCH have my support.
"Wouldn't it be so wonderful if everything were meaningless?
But everything is so meaningful, and most everything turns to ****.
Rejoice."
-David Bazan

  

Offline BrotherBryon

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Re: I Just Wanted A Chance To Explain Myself
I'm glad to see your return MJN, even if it's at a reduced workload. It is as important for you as it is for any other member of the community to be comfortable with what you are willing to contribute and one should always be happy with their work here, never stressed out by it. This place wouldn't be where it is now without the many contributions, hard work, and dedication you've put into it over the years. I don't say much or post very often but these last few months or so have saddened me as I've watched the departure of several pillars of the community on less than pleasant terms. It is my hope that we all can move forward from here and can continue to MOD and play the game that we refuse to let die.
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