[Mustang19]

Umm....

"You did not have authorization to return to base. Although you're by far the best pilot in the GTVA and there were ten Maras on your tail while your hull strength was at 5%, desertion is grounds for court martial..."

[jr2]

 

[Snail]

"You did not have authorization to return to base. Although you're by far the best pilot in the GTVA and there were ten Maras on your tail while your hull strength was at 5%, desertion is grounds for court martial..."

So true. :

[Grizzly]

In the FSPort, I created a lots of points event (created a new pilot first) to get the admiral rank...

You really have got to stop cheating.  This could become a natural thing for you... and that would be bad.  Go on Admiral Cheater, I think you have to perform some ceremony or inspection or something.

and, Curious... I did the same thing for FS2

Congratulations. You have earned your place in the highest echelon of allied leadership. Your character, courage, and genius are an inspiration to us all. On behalf of the GTVA Security Council and General Assembly, I hereby confer upon you the prestigious rank of Admiral. Now go read a book.

[Snail]

They think you're cheating in FS1 but I guess that they didn't find it such an accomplishment due to side-campaigns later on.

[Mobius]

"I demand unfettered access to the Meeting Hall!"

---

"Listen to me! If my safety is guaranteed, I'll no longer spam on HLP."

---

"There will be no negotiations, Snail!"

[Snail]

"I regret that your efforts to stop me have failed, Lieutenant. Helm, engage posting drive."

[Mobius]

"Oh God, he is spamming everywhere! Mayday! This is Lieutenant Ash on Terran Patrol wing Gamma, Three Niner, reporting... Taken heavy damage! Requesting immediate fighter cover and rescue. Come in anybody!"

"Mayday! Requesting immediate assistance! Anyone, please!"

"Barely receiving you, Gamma Three Niner. This is Terran Outpost Riviera responding. What is your situation?"

"Oh thank God! Our wing was ambushed - we didn't have a chance! I'm sure he is tracking me."

"Calm down, sir. Who attacked you? Was it the Vasudans?"

"Vasudans were killed too. He spammed in every thread!"

"Sir, you have to calm down. You were attacked by Vasudans, is that true?"

"No, NO! We were in a thread back in The Pub, and he just came out of nowhere and spammed everywhere!"

"WHO came out of nowhere, pilot?"

"I--I don't know. He wasn't Vasudan, and he wasn't Terran or Shivan. Oh God, he is this death-black spammer-"

"P - pilot..."

"...and he spammed like..."

"Pilot!"

..".and his words were too much. He wasted everyone!"

"Pilot, sit tight! We're sending a recovery Admin or Moderator right now."

"Send OTHER SPAMMERS! I--I know he's reading my last posts. Send everything you have now!"

"Sir, I don't have anyone else viewing this board. You're home free. It's going to be all right!"

"No, it isn't! You don't understand! You weren't there!"

"I can feel him following me!"

"Oh my God! I'm dead! We're all dead!"

"Picking up unknown post signatures..."

"Scramble the spammers!"

"It's too late! Oh God!"

"What the hell is that MT and that I?"

"Aaaaaaaaaahhh!"

[jr2]

ROFL ROFL

[Snail]

I hear my enemies speculate about my posts, my threads. Who is Escargot Snail Bosch, and what is that old spammer up to? The tragedy of my life is that I will be remembered as a hijacker of threads. And this assessment is not unfair; I cannot argue with their condemnation or with the verdict of history.

My 3,510+ posts are an army of stupid words, driven by their punctuation, their spelling and grammar. Spam is the greatest weapon of hijacking and old words open all too easily. I am merely a spammer who created a post count I am now powerless to stop. And so I will play my role to the bloody end. I have given the Lost Moderation something to die for, and now my legacy will be crowned with fanboity.

What the admins will never understand is that my posts are about my love for spamming, not my hatred of threads.

In The Pub board the posts have returned, and soon the Administration will learn the method behind my spammness.

[Wobble73]

 

An excellent riposte!

 

[jr2]

Woot!

[shiven_warior]

"Oh God, he is spamming everywhere! Mayday! This is Lieutenant Ash on Terran Patrol wing Gamma, Three Niner, reporting... Taken heavy damage! Requesting immediate fighter cover and rescue. Come in anybody!"

"Mayday! Requesting immediate assistance! Anyone, please!"

"Barely receiving you, Gamma Three Niner. This is Terran Outpost Riviera responding. What is your situation?"

"Oh thank God! Our wing was ambushed - we didn't have a chance! I'm sure he is tracking me."

"Calm down, sir. Who attacked you? Was it the Vasudans?"

"Vasudans were killed too. He spammed in every thread!"

"Sir, you have to calm down. You were attacked by Vasudans, is that true?"

"No, NO! We were in a thread back in The Pub, and he just came out of nowhere and spammed everywhere!"

"WHO came out of nowhere, pilot?"

"I--I don't know. He wasn't Vasudan, and he wasn't Terran or Shivan. Oh God, he is this death-black spammer-"

"P - pilot..."

"...and he spammed like..."

"Pilot!"

..".and his words were too much. He wasted everyone!"

"Pilot, sit tight! We're sending a recovery Admin or Moderator right now."

"Send OTHER SPAMMERS! I--I know he's reading my last posts. Send everything you have now!"

"Sir, I don't have anyone else viewing this board. You're home free. It's going to be all right!"

"No, it isn't! You don't understand! You weren't there!"

"I can feel him following me!"

"Oh my God! I'm dead! We're all dead!"

"Picking up unknown post signatures..."

"Scramble the spammers!"

"It's too late! Oh God!"

"What the hell is that MT and that I?"

"Aaaaaaaaaahhh!"

excellent work ^^ if i had enough space i would have done it in the sig

[jr2]

You can instead put a link to it in your sig.. Just have to think of a title, and then use this:

Code: [Select]

[url=http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,45543.msg948807.html#msg948807]Insert some good title here[/url]Then you get this result:
Insert some good title here

[Dysko]

Caption: GTSI LieutenantGeneralMobius' Signature - Terronia Mafia Town Southern Italy(sorry Mobius, I couldn't resist, no offense )
Squad Leader: Godfather, this is hitmen party Bravo Two. Entering gargantuan superstation.
Godfather: Roger, Bravo Two. Keep the chatter to a minimum. He already killed 700 newbies.
The hitmen enters the superstation.
Godfather: Bravo Two, your signal's getting weak.
Squad Leader: That's what happens when you use radios made by FIAT.
The point soldier (Zombie) steps ahead and looks around.
Zombie: No sign of anything.
Squad Leader: Squad Two, go.
The squad jumps ahead.
Flex: Probably he killed all the other newbies, anyway.
Squad Leader: Cut the chatter, damn it you f**king moron!
The squad descends several dozen feet down to a wide hallway. Faint noises come from ahead.
Spice: Hear that?
Zombie: Contact, thirty meters ahead.
Godfather: Report, Bravo Two?
Squad Leader: Form up, everyone.
The squad moves into formation and readies their sawn-off shotguns.
Squad Leader: Visual?
Zombie: Negative. I don't --
The hitman is interrupted by more noises ahead. Several orcs appear.
Zombie: Whoa.
Spice: What the hell is that?
Flex: Oh my God!
Squad Leader: Open fire!
Tons of spam come out of the team's shotguns. The point orc is slowed down but keeps going.
Zombie: Die, you *******************************************!
The point orc finally goes down, but the other orcs just jump over it. Several hitmen are killed.
Squad Leader: Fall back!
The hitmen start falling on the floor because they don't understand English very well: the orcs quickly dispatch all but one hitman.
Godfather: Bravo Two, what's going on? Respond or I'll cut your throat, kill your family and burn your house!
The orc picks a poisoned pizza from his rucksack.
Spice: Oh my God... no...
The orc throws the poisoned pizza on the hitman's face.

Ok, that was lame but it's the best I can do after 2 hours of math...

[Mobius]

"When the Admins came for me, I posted even more. I have never been suspended. They were like the others: show new replies to your posts, post there, then restart. Only these were not like the others: They did not fall to my words."

"I have been monkeyed by the first board. I could forego one board. I left it to the Admins and spammed elsewhere. But they followed. They hunted me. They followed me when I retreated, they read my posts and discovered where I lived."

"For a long time I did not know why they chased me. They were no ordinary enemy. They did not seek my mod, my missions, my opinions."

"Now I know my crime was spamming."

[Dysko]

Now I have the right inspiration!

There is little left for us. Little time. But much irony.

We did discover those spammers are not unbannable. The trolls that darkened our boards like a virus can be stopped.

But we have no way to ban them. We have the knowledge, but not the HLP BanHammer of Justice^TM.

And so this is our legacy:

In Real Life^TM, they cannot use their fake IPs. And in Real Life^TM, they can be eliminated.

[Mobius]

"Thirty-two years have passed since the Great Spam. Snail vanished half a lifetime ago, and now we live in the mausoleum of history."

"We inherit the legacy of ghosts who haunt these boards. The elders call us The Lost Generation."

"I remember stories of a glorious forum. Of mods with shipmodels that reached the sun. Of a forum with hundreds of threads. Of people with stupidity of humanity everlasting. Of noobs who saw in LieutenantGeneralMobius' Welcome Beams the destiny of their race. And they hurled themselves into the void of this forum with no fear."

"They say our people have no present, only a past filled with spamming and a future they can only dream of."

"Now we forge a new Moderating team to guard the tomb of HLP and find within its cold expanse the salvation of our race."

[Snail]

I was a proud spammer, and always the most offensive. For thousands of years, my post count expanded. For so long, I could imagine ourselves alone in the forum*. For so long, never did we encounter an advanced admin.

And we spammed faster and farther, spreading in the forum; and before long, we could see the day when our reachable boards would have been exploited. And then there would be nowhere else to spam.

And I discovered bots. It gave me my 10k post count, and it gave me the forum. And I saw other advanced spammers; and we spammed it, or I got  it banned. In months, the elimination of billions of years of threads on a similar but slower path. With bots, my spamming would surely know no boundaries.

[Mobius]

Terran Technician: Ready?
Vasudan Technician: All set. Starting Anti-Spamming Sequence 52-Gamma. Five... four... three... two...
Terran Technician: Power levels STEADy at 1.21 gigaposts.
Vasudan Technician: Keyboards are holding STEADy.
Terran Technician: And sequence two in three... two... one... mark.

(The prototype anti-spammer energizes for a moment, then dissipates.)

Terran Technician: That's it... it held! Reading 59 posts lost but it held!