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Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 12:44:40 am

Title: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 12:44:40 am
As I nose my way into the HLP community, I just want to make my feelings for Aldo perfectly clear. 

I feel the same blind loyalty and purposeless affection that a dog visits upon an occasionally abusive but nonetheless worthy master. 

Sometimes I get the urge to applaud at his snarky topics and brutal one-liners.

Yes, Aldo, HLP would be a far less spicy place without you.  I think you deserve a round of applause. 

And what ever happened to ZylonBane?  I think my first experience on the VBB was getting flamed for not knowing how to beam_free_all, and it was Zylon delivering the napalm. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Blue Lion on January 24, 2007, 12:47:41 am
 :wtf:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 01:07:33 am
I also want to know why Lieutenant General Mobius' sig is...well, let me put it this way.  That's no sig.  It's a SPACE STATION. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 02:46:01 am
As I nose my way into the HLP community, I just want to make my feelings for Aldo perfectly clear. 

I feel the same blind loyalty and purposeless affection that a dog visits upon an occasionally abusive but nonetheless worthy master. 

Sometimes I get the urge to applaud at his snarky topics and brutal one-liners.

Yes, Aldo, HLP would be a far less spicy place without you.  I think you deserve a round of applause. 

And what ever happened to ZylonBane?  I think my first experience on the VBB was getting flamed for not knowing how to beam_free_all, and it was Zylon delivering the napalm. 

The court order said at least 200 meters, y'know.  That includes the internet.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Blue Lion on January 24, 2007, 02:51:49 am
That equates to at least 4 posts between you two.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Gregster2k on January 24, 2007, 02:54:01 am
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, isn't this an adorable cute sight on HLP...*cues up some cutesy lovey music*

Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 02:57:25 am
That equates to at least 4 posts between you two.

I'm summoning Judge Floro as we speak.  As soon as ****ing Armando and his cojones get off the phone.

(hmmm, I'll need a cloth.  Or a new phone.)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 03:03:28 am
Who's Armando?  Here - a cloth, my liege. 

Posts are 50 meters apart?  No wonder everyone's always shouting.

I could fit a kitchenette in here. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Admiral Edivad on January 24, 2007, 03:04:09 am
I also want to know why Lieutenant General Mobius' sig is...well, let me put it this way.  That's no sig.  It's a SPACE STATION. 

 :lol:
Direct in my signature.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Mobius on January 24, 2007, 03:10:00 am
The best ones are Karajorma and Woomeister. Without a doubt.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 03:13:55 am
What, the best HLP members?

Maybe I should do an appreciation thread for everyone.  Boost morale, wot wot. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Fury on January 24, 2007, 03:17:10 am
The best ones are Karajorma and Woomeister. Without a doubt.
Ugh, thank god I have signatures disabled. I couldn't stand seeing these sigs every time with your posts.
Apparently character limit in sigs is 2000, maybe I should reduce it down to 200... :drevil:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Mobius on January 24, 2007, 03:19:12 am
What, the best HLP members?

Yes.

Ugh, thank god I have signatures disabled. I couldn't stand seeing these sigs every time with your posts.
Apparently character limit in sigs is 2000, maybe I should reduce it down to 200... :drevil:

Ha-hem I've just reduced its dimensions.  :doubt:
Are you jealous?  :p
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Turey on January 24, 2007, 03:19:59 am
/me isn't surprised he's not anyone's favorite.  :( :sigh:

As to my favorite HLP member... hmmm... I honestly don't know.

Apparently character limit in sigs is 2000, maybe I should reduce it down to 200... :drevil:

On second thought, Fury is pretty funny.  :P
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 03:23:37 am
You've reduced the dimensions of your signature?   

I applaud this step in defusing the potentially catastrophic tensions created by sigflation. 

Turey, I thought you were the diminutive form of Turambar.  You can't blame me. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Fury on January 24, 2007, 03:24:40 am
Actually I was quite serious about reducing char limit in sigs. There are some sigs that are as long as two posts without sigs combined, which is ridiculous.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Turey on January 24, 2007, 03:25:18 am
Turey, I thought you were the diminutive form of Turambar.  You can't blame me.

 :lol:
Oh yeah. I'm saving that.

EDIT: And look! It didn't increase my sig size! Huzzah!
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 03:40:42 am
Look, I got put in two peoples' sigs and it's the second thread I ever made! 

...you know how in war movies, the new guy always stands up to celebrate after his first kill and gets mowed down?

Frakkin' new guy.

Anyway, if I get two more, we need an announcer to rumble 'M-M-M-M-ONSTER SIG!' in a voice so deep it bespeaks Lovecraftian quantities of testosterone. 

Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Col. Fishguts on January 24, 2007, 04:11:34 am
This thread is creepy in oh so many ways. And I would endorse a more strict sig length.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Flipside on January 24, 2007, 04:14:16 am
However, I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Redwood such a star....
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 04:17:55 am
Who's Redwood?  Your less-mild-mannered alter ego?

I have this image of Calvin's Stupendous Man costume, for some reason. 

AND WHY DO WE NOT HAVE A SPACEMAN SPIFF MOD?  I would KILL for a frap ray. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Flipside on January 24, 2007, 04:31:37 am
Redwood is a strange man who's 50% Clint Eastwood and 50% Robert Redford ;)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 04:40:16 am
And that, my friends, is why we need an HLP appreciation thread.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 04:41:00 am
Redwood is a strange man who's 50% Clint Eastwood and 50% Robert Redford ;)

I think I met him.  Alcoholic, lives in a cardboard box, right?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Flipside on January 24, 2007, 04:47:49 am
That's the bugger, spends most evenings searching the gutters for half-smoked stubbies...
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 04:59:57 am
That's the bugger, spends most evenings searching the gutters for half-smoked stubbies...

Aye, whatever happened to Half-Smoked Stubbies?  Last I heard he was out of the fire brigade and working in a chippy.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Flipside on January 24, 2007, 05:01:59 am
Those were the days, Giant Redwood, Half-smoked Stubbies and Pavement Pizza, they used to be a force to be reckoned with....
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 05:46:06 am
Those were the days, Giant Redwood, Half-smoked Stubbies and Pavement Pizza, they used to be a force to be reckoned with....

Fine men, the lot of them.  Except Pavement Pizza.  Man, that was an operation gone wrong and a half.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: IPAndrews on January 24, 2007, 05:47:39 am
What a strange thread.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: karajorma on January 24, 2007, 05:55:26 am
Okay. Who's alt-nick is this?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Fury on January 24, 2007, 06:03:17 am
No other members in the same IP-ranges as Battuta, doesn't rule out of use of a proxy though. Still, he's been around a month already.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Mefustae on January 24, 2007, 07:09:15 am
Is it that hard to believe someone adores aldo?

Oh, wait, never mind.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: vyper on January 24, 2007, 07:43:09 am
No Weegie has ever been "adored" by a random member of the public. At all.

I smell a rat. Or possibly a skanky whore.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Ghostavo on January 24, 2007, 07:44:15 am
Is it that hard to believe someone adores aldo?

Oh, wait, never mind.

OUCH...  :lol:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 08:00:48 am
No Weegie has ever been "adored" by a random member of the public. At all.

Billy Connolly?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Ford Prefect on January 24, 2007, 08:01:45 am
General Battuta, you're wasting your time. I told aldo I had feelings for him but he said he didn't want a long-term relationship right now.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 08:21:47 am
General Battuta, you're wasting your time. I told aldo I had feelings for him but he said he didn't want a long-term relationship right now.

I'm not entering your den of sin - I've  heard what you do at night, with the German pygmy and the salad cream. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Flipside on January 24, 2007, 08:23:29 am
It may be a German Pygmy, but he's thinking of you.....
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Ghostavo on January 24, 2007, 08:25:05 am
The Pygmy or Ford?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Flipside on January 24, 2007, 08:26:41 am
Either, Neither, Both... It's all fun ;)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Wild Fragaria on January 24, 2007, 08:28:23 am
Wow, you have got a stalker (or more!!)

What does your significant other think about your attractiveness???
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 08:59:07 am
Wow, you have got a stalker (or more!!)

What does your significant other think about your attractiveness???

I'm 'cute', apparently.

Ah well, no accounting for taste :D
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: CP5670 on January 24, 2007, 09:00:13 am

And what ever happened to ZylonBane?  I think my first experience on the VBB was getting flamed for not knowing how to beam_free_all, and it was Zylon delivering the napalm. 

Did you do the walkthrough as he said? :D
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Turambar on January 24, 2007, 09:43:46 am
Turey, I thought you were the diminutive form of Turambar.  You can't blame me.

 :lol:
Oh yeah. I'm saving that.

EDIT: And look! It didn't increase my sig size! Huzzah!

did i miss something?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Nuclear1 on January 24, 2007, 09:45:58 am
What a strange thread.

Indeed, and an0n hasn't even posted here yet.

Just to help an0n as he searches for his name: an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n an0n
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: achtung on January 24, 2007, 10:06:22 am
It looks like HLP will soon divide into a few different factions.  I'd better hurry and start acting like I do everywhere else so I can get some followers.

I'm afraid these coups won't fail as Black Wolf's did.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Wild Fragaria on January 24, 2007, 10:22:46 am
Wow, you have got a stalker (or more!!)

What does your significant other think about your attractiveness???

I'm 'cute', apparently.

Ah well, no accounting for taste :D

You are??!!    :eek2:

I suppose, you do look like a 12 year old from the pictures you posted on HLP :P
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 24, 2007, 10:27:23 am
I'm 'cute', apparently.

Ah well, no accounting for taste :D

You are??!!    :eek2:

I've been told I am.  By a girl who wears glasses, admittedly........:nervous:

Quote
I suppose, you do look like a 12 year old from the pictures you posted on HLP :P

:p
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Taristin on January 24, 2007, 12:04:24 pm
I want a creepy stalker cult ._.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Falcon on January 24, 2007, 12:19:04 pm
...!
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 12:40:28 pm
I want a creepy stalker cult ._.

Do you want to go to the crappy planet where you're a hero?

He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain't hard to explain.
The hero of HLP
the man they call Aldo...
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Ghostavo on January 24, 2007, 12:43:40 pm
At first it was funny, now you're creeping me out.  :shaking:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Janos on January 24, 2007, 12:46:45 pm
I want a creepy stalker cult ._.

Do you want to go to the crappy planet where you're a hero?

He robbed from the rich
and he gave to the poor.
Stood up to the man
and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now
ain't hard to explain.
The hero of HLP
the man they call Aldo...

i like you :)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 12:49:23 pm
At first it was funny, now you're creeping me out.  :shaking:

Folks need heroes, Ghostavo!  Give 'em hope!  So smile, would you?  While we still got something to smile about. 

Regarding all the speculation, no, I'm not an alt nick.  I've been lurking for a few years.  I was Archangel_299 back on the VBB.  My memories are vague, cloudy...all I can recall are Setekh and Thunder...and TaS. 

OH GOD.  *shudder*
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Taristin on January 24, 2007, 12:53:54 pm
bah, if all youre gonna do is quote firefly, then its not worth it :{
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 03:32:40 pm
So you're a Covenant Elite, is that it? 

Squid-headed freak. 

So, I hear Freespace 3 is going to be evolved from a group of circumcised Derek Smart clones.  In Iraq. 

Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Harbinger of DOOM on January 24, 2007, 03:39:52 pm
O_O
You gonna take that from him Taristin?!
LMFAO! :lol:
:wakka:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: perihelion on January 24, 2007, 04:12:31 pm
 :lol:
Oh man, I'm still laughing.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: achtung on January 24, 2007, 05:27:44 pm
So, I hear Freespace 3 is going to be evolved from a group of circumcised Derek Smart clones.  In Iraq.

Pretty much.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: CP5670 on January 24, 2007, 06:36:09 pm
Quote
Regarding all the speculation, no, I'm not an alt nick.  I've been lurking for a few years.  I was Archangel_299 back on the VBB.  My memories are vague, cloudy...all I can recall are Setekh and Thunder...and TaS.

I remember the name, but nothing else. :p
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Taristin on January 24, 2007, 09:57:33 pm
So you're a Covenant Elite, is that it? 

Squid-headed freak. 

Erm... no.

Despite them being, possibly, the most appealing alien race Ive seen yet.

Not elite.
Not Vasudan.
Nothing.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: achtung on January 24, 2007, 10:12:46 pm
*The* link in your sig says different :p
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Taristin on January 24, 2007, 10:17:52 pm
I... have sigs disabled, (as well as avatars. Dont like the admins thinking they're special with silly images) so I dont even know whats in my signature anymore.

edit: Ehh, it only says "lizards..." it doesnt make any claims to being one.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 10:23:38 pm
Explain to me the meaning of the otherwise nonsensical phrase "Inta 'Ratotee".

Sounds like an Elite name to me

A bloody fate awaits you and the rest of your incompetent race. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Ford Prefect on January 24, 2007, 10:31:20 pm
I want whatever you're on right now.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Taristin on January 24, 2007, 10:32:44 pm
Me too. :wtf:

It's personal text. You can put whatever you want there. And I owe you no explanations of anything.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Ulala on January 24, 2007, 11:11:36 pm
Aldo is my Wii buddy..  :nervous:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 24, 2007, 11:12:35 pm
And I owe you no explanations of anything.

Yes, great one.  Sorry, great one. 

You know how grunts get when they've gone too long without a food nipple. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 25, 2007, 02:54:27 am
Aldo is my Wii buddy..  :nervous:

I always knew that'd come back to haunt me :nervous:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: NGTM-1R on January 25, 2007, 03:55:53 am
Me too. :wtf:

It's personal text. You can put whatever you want there. And I owe you no explanations of anything.

We ought to do an "explain your personal text" thread sometime.

I'm kinda disappointed nobody's made the connection for mine yet.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 25, 2007, 03:58:47 am
Me too. :wtf:

It's personal text. You can put whatever you want there. And I owe you no explanations of anything.

We ought to do an "explain your personal text" thread sometime.

I'm kinda disappointed nobody's made the connection for mine yet.

I always thought it was something to do with wishing an early 1990s computer game upon the reader.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: NGTM-1R on January 25, 2007, 04:01:07 am
Well, sort of. But it's not the game you're thinking of. More Star Wars and less hell.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Gortef on January 25, 2007, 04:09:25 am
Aldo is my Wii buddy..  :nervous:

Wii or weewee?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Mefustae on January 25, 2007, 04:12:04 am
Aldo is my Wii buddy..  :nervous:
Wii or weewee?
Or perhaps aldo is just a midget. :)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: aldo_14 on January 25, 2007, 04:34:00 am
Well, sort of. But it's not the game you're thinking of. More Star Wars and less hell.

Considering the prequels, I'm not sure there's much of a difference ;)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: NGTM-1R on January 25, 2007, 05:16:20 am
There is truth to that.

Anyways, it's a reference to TIE Fighter. In the first several missions, where you were not Alpha 1, Alpha 1 had a subtitle for his fighter, rather like an altered cargo tag.

"DOOM ON YOU"

Presumably he knew you'd take his job if you weren't killed first.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: karajorma on January 25, 2007, 06:35:19 am
Or perhaps aldo is just a midget. :)

Given the people he attracts to HLP maybe he's a Mystic Dwarf (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,39677.0.html)? :p
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Bob-san on January 25, 2007, 07:05:21 am
Or perhaps aldo is just a midget. :)

Given the people he attracts to HLP maybe he's a Mystic Dwarf (http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php/topic,39677.0.html)? :p
If Aldo is a mystic dwarf, Kara is a pixie!!  :lol:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: karajorma on January 25, 2007, 07:18:30 am
:wtf: I'm just wondering who on Earth I must have attracted here to gain that title? :D
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Wild Fragaria on January 25, 2007, 07:25:57 am
The song is very interesting... shows a load of love for aldo.  "There's a HLP hero, a man we called aldo"  :D

Aldo the dwarf and Kara the pixie!!!    :shaking:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 25, 2007, 12:31:00 pm
This thread is banterrific. 

If Kara's a pixie and Aldo is a dwarf, I could write a fairy tale.  But we need some other roles. 

Come on, who's up for it? 

Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Mongoose on January 25, 2007, 01:01:22 pm
Battuta, of all the n00bs to stumble across all the forums on all the Web, I hereby dub thee "Best. n00b.  Evar."
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 25, 2007, 01:06:19 pm
Oh God I want that title so bad.

Seriously, though, I'm a writer.  I love writing fairy tales.  Indulge me - surely we can get more than a pixie and a dwarf!
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: achtung on January 25, 2007, 01:41:34 pm
There are plenty of people that could fill out a "troll" role.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Nuclear1 on January 25, 2007, 02:52:37 pm
Battuta, of all the n00bs to stumble across all the forums on all the Web, I hereby dub thee "Best. n00b.  Evar."

Certainly one of the best newbs we've had in a while. :)
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: BrotherBryon on January 25, 2007, 04:52:34 pm
Do you think the admins will grace him with this most deserved title?
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Geezer on January 25, 2007, 05:23:50 pm
:wtf: I'm just wondering who on Earth I must have attracted here to gain that title? :D

It's gotta be the pointed ears. (Or maybe the dragonfly wings?)  :P
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Bob-san on January 25, 2007, 05:37:09 pm
:wtf: I'm just wondering who on Earth I must have attracted here to gain that title? :D

It's gotta be the pointed ears. (Or maybe the dragonfly wings?)  :P
Actual the magical existance of his semiuseful guide! :P Besides... Kara sounds like a pixie name! I couldn't care less about the pointy ears and dragonfly wings... i'd call those mutations from nuclear power-plants! Definately magical... in a creepy sort of way! :lol:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: CP5670 on January 25, 2007, 05:51:54 pm
He can't really be considered a noob if he was here in the VBB days. :p
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 25, 2007, 06:06:02 pm
*hem hem*  I shall improvise.

Once upon a time the dwarf Aldo, sickened by the corruption of mankind, stole a forbidden tome from the masters of HLP.  The tome was a relic of an older time, full of terrible secrets.  Through dreams, Aldo whispered these dread secrets into the mind of a great judge of men and drove him mad.

The masters of HLP, charged with guarding the world from this nightmarish book, were greatly troubled when they saw the madness of the judge.  It was decided that the tome must be retrieved, before Aldo could spread chaos over more of the world. 

But Aldo's fortress was impervious to any weapon.  No one could breach its walls.  The world fell into ruin and fire as the dwarf's terrible muttering drove all mankind insane.  Those strong enough to resist spent themselves in fruitless assaults, battering themselves against Aldo's stronghold. 

At last, a few of the weary survivors gathered and decided to find another way.  Turey, the young son of the mighty Turambar; Flipside, wise and seasoned sage; and Taristin, a barbarian filled with rage.

Together, they made their way into the Great Forest, a place filled with mirages and fey light.  Flipside told the others that it was ruled by a king of fey, called Karajorma, and that the forest changed with the years.  There were other fey here too, like Coolmon, who Flipside said was the artisan who crafted all the beautiful things in Karajorma's court. 

Only Karajorma could tell them the way to defeat Aldo's walls. 

Taristin thought this was a coward's plan.  How was an effeminate fey supposed to teach them the way to victory?  But Turey, whose father had respected Flipside greatly, spoke harshly to the barbarian.  Taristin relented, but his wounded pride festered. 

Their first challenge in the Forest was a horrible spider.  Turey stumbled into one of its webs, and as Taristin worked to cut him free, the gargantuan arachnid descended on them.  "Vasudan Commander!" Flipside shouted.  "It will bind you with its threads, and then suck you dry!"

The three struck at the spider - Turey still hampered by the web - but their weapons were useless, even Taristin's mighty axe.  The spider bound first Flipside, and then Taristin in its web.  But Turey - who the spider, seeing the webs tangled around his legs, left for last - burned them free with his torch.  "Use flame!" he called.

Together, the three drove the spider away. 

Next they came upon a bridge over a sparkling stream.  "The water is enchanted," Flipside warned.  "Touch it, and you will never be the same."

But the bridge was guarded by a swarm of trolls.  Fire did nothing to them; nor did weapons.  They swarmed over the three heroes, shrieking and clawing.  Taristin hewed them down by the dozen, but each time they fell, they simply sprang back up, twice as strong. 

Seeing this, Flipside called out to the others. "Our blows give them strength!  Ignore them!"

Turey had to restrain Taristin, for his rage was so great that he did not hear Flipside's words.  But the trolls, deprived of blows to feed on, shrank and withered away.   

Taristin, humiliated by Turey's actions, almost turned on him, but Flipside spoke harshly.  "We cannot afford to let our pride interfere," he said, "when the world suffers under Aldo's lash." 

The three pressed on, and at last they reached Karajorma's court.  The fey king listened to their pleas, and considered.  "I cannot break those walls," he said, "but I know of one who can.  Find Woomeister, and the USilv he bears.  It may grant you victory, and a chance at salvation from Aldo's wrath."

Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Taristin on January 25, 2007, 06:21:26 pm
:rolleyes: is all I have to say to that.
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 25, 2007, 06:22:22 pm
Pulp is so much fun.  And you can't expect quality from three minutes of writing, silly.

I'm sure this has been done before. 
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: Bob-san on January 25, 2007, 06:45:57 pm
Lol...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9q2jNjOPdk


 :hopping:
Title: Re: Aldo_14 is my hero.
Post by: General Battuta on January 25, 2007, 06:52:37 pm
I'll be good, I swear.  Never again.