Author Topic: Aldo_14 is my hero.  (Read 10338 times)

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Offline General Battuta

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This thread is banterrific. 

If Kara's a pixie and Aldo is a dwarf, I could write a fairy tale.  But we need some other roles. 

Come on, who's up for it? 


 

Offline Mongoose

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Battuta, of all the n00bs to stumble across all the forums on all the Web, I hereby dub thee "Best. n00b.  Evar."

 

Offline General Battuta

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Oh God I want that title so bad.

Seriously, though, I'm a writer.  I love writing fairy tales.  Indulge me - surely we can get more than a pixie and a dwarf!

 

Offline achtung

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There are plenty of people that could fill out a "troll" role.
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In the wise words of Charles de Gaulle, "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

Formerly known as Swantz

 

Offline Nuclear1

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Battuta, of all the n00bs to stumble across all the forums on all the Web, I hereby dub thee "Best. n00b.  Evar."

Certainly one of the best newbs we've had in a while. :)
Spoon - I stand in awe by your flawless fredding. Truely, never before have I witnessed such magnificant display of beamz.
Axem -  I don't know what I'll do with my life now. Maybe I'll become a Nun, or take up Macrame. But where ever I go... I will remember you!
Axem - Sorry to post again when I said I was leaving for good, but something was nagging me. I don't want to say it in a way that shames the campaign but I think we can all agree it is actually.. incomplete. It is missing... Voice Acting.
Quanto - I for one would love to lend my beautiful singing voice into this wholesome project.
Nuclear1 - I want a duet.
AndrewofDoom - Make it a trio!

 

Offline BrotherBryon

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Do you think the admins will grace him with this most deserved title?
Holy Crap. SHIVANS! Tours

  

Offline Geezer

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:wtf: I'm just wondering who on Earth I must have attracted here to gain that title? :D

It's gotta be the pointed ears. (Or maybe the dragonfly wings?)  :P
If a man walks in the desert and speaks where no woman can hear, is he still wrong?

 

Offline Bob-san

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:wtf: I'm just wondering who on Earth I must have attracted here to gain that title? :D

It's gotta be the pointed ears. (Or maybe the dragonfly wings?)  :P
Actual the magical existance of his semiuseful guide! :P Besides... Kara sounds like a pixie name! I couldn't care less about the pointy ears and dragonfly wings... i'd call those mutations from nuclear power-plants! Definately magical... in a creepy sort of way! :lol:
NGTM-1R: Currently considering spending the rest of the day in bed cuddling.
GTSVA: With who...?
Nuke: chewbacca?
Bob-san: The Rancor.

 

Offline CP5670

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He can't really be considered a noob if he was here in the VBB days. :p

 

Offline General Battuta

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*hem hem*  I shall improvise.

Once upon a time the dwarf Aldo, sickened by the corruption of mankind, stole a forbidden tome from the masters of HLP.  The tome was a relic of an older time, full of terrible secrets.  Through dreams, Aldo whispered these dread secrets into the mind of a great judge of men and drove him mad.

The masters of HLP, charged with guarding the world from this nightmarish book, were greatly troubled when they saw the madness of the judge.  It was decided that the tome must be retrieved, before Aldo could spread chaos over more of the world. 

But Aldo's fortress was impervious to any weapon.  No one could breach its walls.  The world fell into ruin and fire as the dwarf's terrible muttering drove all mankind insane.  Those strong enough to resist spent themselves in fruitless assaults, battering themselves against Aldo's stronghold. 

At last, a few of the weary survivors gathered and decided to find another way.  Turey, the young son of the mighty Turambar; Flipside, wise and seasoned sage; and Taristin, a barbarian filled with rage.

Together, they made their way into the Great Forest, a place filled with mirages and fey light.  Flipside told the others that it was ruled by a king of fey, called Karajorma, and that the forest changed with the years.  There were other fey here too, like Coolmon, who Flipside said was the artisan who crafted all the beautiful things in Karajorma's court. 

Only Karajorma could tell them the way to defeat Aldo's walls. 

Taristin thought this was a coward's plan.  How was an effeminate fey supposed to teach them the way to victory?  But Turey, whose father had respected Flipside greatly, spoke harshly to the barbarian.  Taristin relented, but his wounded pride festered. 

Their first challenge in the Forest was a horrible spider.  Turey stumbled into one of its webs, and as Taristin worked to cut him free, the gargantuan arachnid descended on them.  "Vasudan Commander!" Flipside shouted.  "It will bind you with its threads, and then suck you dry!"

The three struck at the spider - Turey still hampered by the web - but their weapons were useless, even Taristin's mighty axe.  The spider bound first Flipside, and then Taristin in its web.  But Turey - who the spider, seeing the webs tangled around his legs, left for last - burned them free with his torch.  "Use flame!" he called.

Together, the three drove the spider away. 

Next they came upon a bridge over a sparkling stream.  "The water is enchanted," Flipside warned.  "Touch it, and you will never be the same."

But the bridge was guarded by a swarm of trolls.  Fire did nothing to them; nor did weapons.  They swarmed over the three heroes, shrieking and clawing.  Taristin hewed them down by the dozen, but each time they fell, they simply sprang back up, twice as strong. 

Seeing this, Flipside called out to the others. "Our blows give them strength!  Ignore them!"

Turey had to restrain Taristin, for his rage was so great that he did not hear Flipside's words.  But the trolls, deprived of blows to feed on, shrank and withered away.   

Taristin, humiliated by Turey's actions, almost turned on him, but Flipside spoke harshly.  "We cannot afford to let our pride interfere," he said, "when the world suffers under Aldo's lash." 

The three pressed on, and at last they reached Karajorma's court.  The fey king listened to their pleas, and considered.  "I cannot break those walls," he said, "but I know of one who can.  Find Woomeister, and the USilv he bears.  It may grant you victory, and a chance at salvation from Aldo's wrath."


 

Offline Taristin

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:rolleyes: is all I have to say to that.
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Offline General Battuta

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Pulp is so much fun.  And you can't expect quality from three minutes of writing, silly.

I'm sure this has been done before. 
« Last Edit: January 25, 2007, 06:31:11 pm by General Battuta »

 

Offline Bob-san

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NGTM-1R: Currently considering spending the rest of the day in bed cuddling.
GTSVA: With who...?
Nuke: chewbacca?
Bob-san: The Rancor.

 

Offline General Battuta

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I'll be good, I swear.  Never again.