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Self-explanatory; you can post any Freespace 1/2 jokes here :p
I'll start off:
1. Why does the Colossus have a spiked tail at the back?
So it could slice a smaller capship to two when it rams it.
2. Why do you have to blast away the 5 reactors on Lucy's hull?
So you couldn't get that valuable "SD Lucifer" on your kill list.
3. Why didn't they include the Executor in the Star Wars mod?
Because it is accepted that the Gargant from the Inferno mod is overkill enough to take on 3 of those ;)
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Teehehehe. :drevil:
http://www.hard-light.net/forums/index.php?topic=55683.0
Anyway, drawing on past experiences
- Why were you late for the movies with your girlfriend?
The Shivans tried to blow the Capella star up again, the bastards.
- What's better than sex?
The UD-8 Kayser.
- Why did the GTVA call the Colossus the Colossus?
Because Terminator was taken.
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What is this Free Space and what is it doing on all of my hard disk drives?!?
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I leave Command to answer some of the harder questions. :P
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How many GTVA officers does it take to win a war?
1 named is Alpha 1
the rest are cannon fodder
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I put all the mod files in my main folder now it's not working
(you most make an update)
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Heres a joke for all my fellow NTF sympathisers..
Why did the Zod cross the road?
BECAUSE HE IS INFERIOR AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BASK IN MY PRESENCE !!!!
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Heres a joke for all my fellow NTF sympathisers..
Why did the Zod cross the road?
BECAUSE HE IS INFERIOR AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BASK IN MY PRESENCE !!!!
It's amazing how people can have such seething hatred for a fictional race of aliens.
Bravo, sir. :yes:
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What is this Free Space and what is it doing on all of my hard disk drives?!?
My case is worse: it's in my nightmares :sigh:
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ugh, why did I read this thread. There goes 3 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
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ugh, why did I read this thread.
Those reasons are classified well beyond your level of clearance, pilot
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Why did Kappa Wing get lost in the Nebula?
The GPS told them to go right at the fork in road
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Heres a joke for all my fellow NTF sympathisers..
Why did the Zod cross the road?
BECAUSE HE IS INFERIOR AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BASK IN MY PRESENCE !!!!
This was funny.
For the rest, I weep! WEEP!
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Sadly, he's not technically kneeling, but...
[attachment deleted by admin]
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What is this Free Space and what is it doing on all of my hard disk drives?!?
My case is worse: it's in my nightmares :sigh:
Nightmares? This lives on in my dreams. :D :D :D :D
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Sadly, he's not technically kneeling, but...
:lol:
Best one so far. Pity it'll be lost on the next attachment purge...
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- Why did the chicken cross the road?
Who gives a $*%!? Go play FreeSpace!
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I put all the mod files in my main folder now it's not working
(you most make an update)
best one in the whole thread.
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Hai Guys My Freespace isn't working, can you fix it? K, Thanx Bai.
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How many Zods does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, My cellar dungeon doesn't have any lights. Just car batteries and cables with zod nipple clamps attached.
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Chuck Norris didn't disarm four BFREDs with malcompetant wingmates and half a bank of Furies.
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- What's the difference between FreeSpace and a dead baby?
I don't play on a dead baby for 5 hours.
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- What's the difference between FreeSpace and a dead baby?
I don't play on a dead baby for 5 hours.
Can we not have dead baby jokes. Also that one was worse than most of them so ...
Also Chuck Norris destroyed the entire Santhanas fleet, with no help, on insane.
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I think I personally find Chuck Norris jokes more distasteful than dead baby jokes. :p
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- Why didn't Mr. T fight the Lucifer?
'Cause Mr. T pitied the fool!!
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You wanna hear a joke?
Vasudan rights!
yeah that's right
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You wanna hear a joke?
Vasudan rights!
yeah that's right
I have a few ZOD friends that are about to pay you a visit and teach you a lesson about life :headz:
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The Vasudan Panthers?
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You wanna hear a joke?
Vasudan rights!
yeah that's right
^ That :nod:
Also what do you say to a Vasudan with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told the fish lover twice :lol:
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- What do you call a Shivan on Earth?
Nothing, theres no one left to say anything!
If no one has noticed, I'm slowly improving at this....
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What do you call the billions of dead Zods after the Lucifer attack?
A good start. . .
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- What do you call Command's vidbox being Black?
Affirmative Action IN SPACE
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Ok, so a Shivan walks into a bar and orders two beers. Bartender replies: Take three, why don't ya...
Meh.
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*Makes reference to Command Mistakes thread with the "Who wants to be a millionaire references"*
Alright, so this question here is for one million and you still have your "Call a friend" lifeline Bosch.
"The entire GTVA fleet has found you, what do you do?"
Do you
a) Prepare for the final battle
b) Explain the misunderstandings and hope that the GTVA will understand you loved Earth too much
c) RAM INTO THEM! MUAHAHAHA
d) Stick up your middle finger in the HUB display at Alpha 1 as you warp away (again)
"Uh yes, I think I will take that lifeline now"
"Alright, who would you like to call?"
"The Shivans"
*gargle ensues*
*insert whatever better witty comment you have here*
I don't know, couldn't think of anything funny to say
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- What do you call Command's vidbox being Black?
Affirmative Action IN SPACE
:wtf:
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I didnt get the affirmative action joke.
And the 'a good start' joke was SO funny but So wrong. Check my siggy. Im a Vasudan Rights Supporter.
They were our good allies.
And whoever had that millionarie joke going... it was great up untill 'the shivans' as you didnt continue it.
Id suggest thinking it over more and finihsing it-- it has great potential!
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I think I personally find Chuck Norris jokes more distasteful than dead baby jokes. :p
Silence Infidel! The Ascended Meme that is Chuck Norris is beyond understanding of your pitifull, mortal, sqishy brain.
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- Why did Sathanas go to Capella?
To eat fried chicken.
I swear, the more I do, the better they'll get....eventually....
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What's yellow, sticky, and fills four and a half bin bags?
don't ask, but you'll thank me when your head doesn't end up in a cardboard box. . . He had it coming, they ALL have it coming, . . . . . . . .
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Alright, so this question here is for one million and you still have your "Call a friend" lifeline Bosch.
"The entire GTVA fleet has found you, what do you do?"
Do you
a) Prepare for the final battle
b) Explain the misunderstandings and hope that the GTVA will understand you loved Earth too much
c) RAM INTO THEM! MUAHAHAHA
d) Stick up your middle finger in the HUB display at Alpha 1 as you warp away (again)
"Uh yes, I think I will take that lifeline now"
"Alright, who would you like to call?"
"Ah yes, I would like to call Bob on the Cain cruiser next to us."
"Alright you have 60 seconds"
*conversation ensues*
I need ideas for some odd conversation
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Alright, so this question here is for one million and you still have your "Call a friend" lifeline Bosch.
"The entire GTVA fleet has found you, what do you do?"
Do you
a) Prepare for the final battle
b) Explain the misunderstandings and hope that the GTVA will understand you loved Earth too much
c) RAM INTO THEM! MUAHAHAHA
d) Stick up your middle finger in the HUB display at Alpha 1 as you warp away (again)
"Uh yes, I think I will take that lifeline now"
"Alright, who would you like to call?"
"Ah yes, I would like to call Bob on the Cain cruiser next to us."
"Alright you have 60 seconds"
*conversation ensues*
I need ideas for some odd conversation
ur starting to kill ur own joke....but i'll throw something out there...
Bob: hey Aken
Bosch: hey Bob. alright...(reads question and four choices)
Bob: Do you have anyone with you?
Bosch: I guess the Shivans, they are my allies.
Bob: Then you prepare for the final battle.
Bosch: I don't know about that. This conflict is supposed to be indefinite.
Bob: good point! in that case go wit---
Host: ooh, your time ran out, whats ur choice?
Bosch: uhm... *fires BFRed at audience*
Thats really bad, but, HEY, its something
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When nerds try to make jokes, everybody is pays the price.
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I was never known as funny
I kill jokes instead.
Someone salvage what's left of my crap and claim it as their own
I had the intention of having a Shivan named Bob by the way, but that doesn't matter now.
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Carl the Shivan covets your lunch!
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Carl the Shivan covets your lunch!
Carl the Shivan likes the fire extinguishers on Riviera. :p
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You wanna hear a joke?
Vasudan rights!
yeah that's right
I have a few ZOD friends that are about to pay you a visit and teach you a lesson about life :headz:
Where did they get the name "Zods" anyway?
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You wanna hear a joke?
Vasudan rights!
yeah that's right
Jeez, some species-equality won't kill you. :P
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Fourteen years of bloody relentless war. . . How long did both shivan incursions last in total? Some people never forget the true enemy.
:p
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You wanna hear a joke?
Vasudan rights!
yeah that's right
I have a few ZOD friends that are about to pay you a visit and teach you a lesson about life :headz:
Where did they get the name "Zods" anyway?
No clue honestly, I just started using it after playing the shrouding the light campaign.
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Why did the shivans leave?
They heard Chuck Norris was coming.
Why did the shivan beam Vasuda Prime?
They like their vasudans well done.
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U.R.A. - The letters stand for Universal Rollform Alliance. Their flagship is designated Moron 1.
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- A Zod walks into a bar and sees two Terrans playing poker. He immediately notices one player cheating. He walks over and eats the cheating poker player. Why did he do that?
He was acting "fishy!"
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Some good effort went itto that lol. Good effort joke.