[Rictor]

http://www.rationalenquirer.org/features/bomb_a_tron.php

It should make the jobs of our upstanding men and women in the press corps a whole lot easier.

[Fineus]

Time saving and accurate. Handy indeed!

[vyper]

Dear. Me.

[Taristin]

Car Bomb Attack in Najaf kills 12

By Raa
Reuters
Friday, February 18, 2005; 7:56 PM

In Najaf today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police checkpoint, killing 12 police officers and injuring 300, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Opel Astra slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police checkpoint and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Muhammid Al-Najaf.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 100 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Christopher Snipes, a 26-year-old hairdresser. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Brigadier General Gregory Petrarch said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Najaf attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.

[Deepblue]

Its eerie how similar that is to the real (hopefully) reports...

[phreak]

Car Bomb Attack in Ramadi kills 7

By phreak
Reuters
Friday, February 18, 2005; 8:22 PM

In Ramadi today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police checkpoint, killing 7 police officers and injuring 13, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Toyota Land Cruiser slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police checkpoint and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Mohammed Hummina.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 150 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Speedy Gonzalez, a 26-year-old taxi driver. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Brigadier General Tom Arnold said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Ramadi attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.

[Goober5000]

Lt. Commander Snipes is not a hairdresser!

[Nuclear1]

Car Bomb Attack in Basra kills 9
By Nuclear
Associated Press
Friday, February 18, 2005; 10:07 PM

In Basra today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police checkpoint, killing 9 police officers and injuring 14, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Toyota Land Cruiser slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police checkpoint and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Muhhesseref Shamid.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 75 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Charlie Markos, a 26-year-old doctor. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Brigadier General F.F. Copolla said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Basra attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.



Weird...

[Taristin]

Originally posted by Goober5000
Lt. Commander Snipes is not a hairdresser!

Wee. Someone read, and completely overreacted to, my article.  I'm famous now.

[Corsair]

Wow... it really does read like the real thing.

Depressing, in a way.

[Gloriano]

Car Bomb Attack in Baghdad kills 900

By Gloriano
AFP
Saturday, February 19, 2005; 3:05 AM

In Baghdad today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police station, killing 900 police officers and injuring 800, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Chevrolet Malibu slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police station and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Ahbu.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 150 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Alpha 1, a 26-year-old laborer. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Brigadier General Bosch said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Baghdad attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.

email the editor

[aldo_14]

Car Bomb Attack in Mosul kills 5

By Twag the Invincible
Reuters
Sunday, February 20, 2005; 6:59 AM

In Mosul today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police station, killing 5 police officers and injuring 68, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Ford Focus slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police station and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Bob.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 75 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Amdi, a 26-year-old hairdresser. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Brigadier General Dangerous Dave said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Mosul attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.

[vyper]

You know I just noticed a bug - if it was Basra, it'd be British troops sealing off the area.

[Tiara]

Funny.

[vyper]

Where'd you're "You" report go?

[Flipside]

Car Bomb Attack in Mosul kills 5
By Bob
Reuters
Sunday, February 20, 2005; 9:42 AM

In Mosul today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police headquarters, killing 5 police officers and injuring 17, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Opel Astra slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police headquarters and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Officer Dibble.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 150 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Osama Bin Laden, a 26-year-old butcher. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Major Bull****ter said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Mosul attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.
 

Couldn't help it

[Tiara]

Originally posted by vyper
Where'd you're "You" report go?

Didn't fit...

[Knight Templar]

Car Bomb Attack in Falluja kills 180

By John Steinbeck
Reuters
Sunday, February 20, 2005; 4:52 PM

In Falluja today, explosives packed in a car detonated at a police academy, killing 180 police officers and injuring 69, witnesses said.

US troops and tanks sealed off the area, which was strewn with parts of flaming wreckage and human remains.

The driver of the Toyota Supra slammed his bomb-laden car into a pickup truck that was used to block the gate leading to the police academy and detonated the load of explosives, said policeman Jon Harrington al-Akbar.

The blast was extremely powerful, hurling the body of one of the police officers more than 150 yards, witnesses said.

"I heard the explosion, and it shattered glass everywhere," said Mustafa, a 26-year-old hairdresser. "I saw cars burned and destroyed, fire, and body parts all over."

U.S. officials called the attack a sign of the insurgents' desperation.

"The fact of the matter is we're keeping the insurgents off balance and they're reeling backward. They're trying to come at us and we're giving it right back," Brigadier General Peter Hardwood said.

"The terrorists are growing more desperate in their attempts to deprive the world of a free and peaceful Iraq and they're trying to put it all on the line and give it all they can."

There was no claim of responsibility for the latest Falluja attack, but it followed warnings blared from mosque speakers that Iraqis should stay away from police installations.