So I bought a full, legal copy of HL2, albeit a used one. Installed, fine. Then when I go to register on Steam, is says the CD-key should look like 1111-2222-3333-AAAAA-BBBBB-CCCCC-DDDDD-EEEEE, while mine is a mix of letters and numbers. Steam does not accept the CD key as valid, even though it is printed on a sticker on one of the CD cases, right there in black and white.
So now I can't play HL2, even though I paid actual money so that I could do that very thing.
Any suggestions, short of contacting Valve, which I will have to do anyway in order to be able to play online with a used CD-key, just not, you know, right now at 2:39 in the morning.
Nevermind, I'm an idiot. It's working. Well, not exactly working, but the reason why is something non-related.