[Ford Prefect]

an0n?

[Mobius]

The subject is interesting, but the way it's being discussed surely isn't.

I know of people who clarify everything before engaging each other and decide to stay together only for self esteem and/or fun. Other people decide to start a serious, faithful and respectful relationship(like me) with no regrets. If a man and a woman agree in staying together only to have sex let them to do so without interfering. We're not here to tell people how to pee, if you get what I mean.

The only, bad thing is having to deal with a person who doesn't share your point of view - that's a big problem.

[The E]

Because they are still treating each other as objects to a certain extent (no deep connection or commitment or responsibility) and care more about fun and pleasure. It also is not mature in more ways than one. It means they care more about your body and making themselves feel good than your personality, and that is not special and seems so selfish and I don't see how anyone could feel good about it afterwards, yet most people don't think as deeply about it as I do. Also, these people are more likely to cheat in a relationship and might have a cocktail of infections. Also, if I show my whole body or did sexual things with people I am not in love with, I wouldn't really have self respect letting anyone touch me in an intimate way like I'm some sort of toy or a piece of meat that the won't care enough about to stay with and be there for me in a serious relationship. I could never feel good about myself afterwards.

Yes. Us Fun-loving, promiscuous people are deeply flawed, and we should spend every minute flogging ourselves for our shortcomings. We are also really, really untrustworthy, and likely to infect all the pious people in the world with a variety of diseases, because we think it's fun.
Seriously, could you try and be less offensive? We get it, you don't like people who don't care about relationships the same way you do. I'll say it again, just in case you missed it: Whatever two (or more, Gasp!) consenting adults do with their life is their, AND ONLY THEIR business. I don't have the right to tell them that they are doing it wrong. Neither do you.
So, you don't understand people who aren't looking for depth in their relationships? OK, that's your problem. That doesn't make the people who understand and enjoy shallow stuff wrong.

Also, if a person has sex and does sexual things with people they don't love when they are old enough to know better and then do it with someone they are in love with, they would be treating that person pretty much the same way since they did sexual things and went all the way with both people they are not in love with and people they were in love with, and I couldn't feel special. I would be treated no better than the men the girl never loved and did that with and also would wonder if she is with me for love or just another fling. How could I be happy or feel special with someone like that? There wouldn't be much of a distinction. I feel sad thinking about that.

I pity you, I really do. What is wrong with having fun? What is it about us "shallow" people that gets under your skin that much?

Life isn't always about fun; it is about work and other things. Always thinking about fun and even taking it too far is the way a kid thinks.

Yes, I know I think very deeply about things and analyze, but that is how I am and it has saved me in certain cases and would be a good trait for a detective.

Life isn't always fun, agreed. But, ultimately, having fun is what makes life worth living, IMHO.

The subject is interesting, but the way it's being discussed surely isn't.

I know of people who clarify everything before engaging each other and decide to stay together only for self esteem and/or fun. Other people decide to start a serious, faithful and respectful relationship(like me) with no regrets. If a man and a woman agree in staying together only to have sex let them to do so without interfering. We're not here to tell people how to pee, if you get what I mean.

The only, bad thing is having to deal with a person who doesn't share your point of view - that's a big problem.

QFT.

[WeatherOp]

I don't have the right to tell them that they are doing it wrong. Neither do you.

Psh, I have the right to tell them they are wrong.

[Nuke]

kaz is kind of right, while a man is in his sexual prime in his 20s, women are usually in their prime in their 30s.

[NGTM-1R]

@The E: There are many ways to have fun without doing things like that and taking it that far.

Why is this one fashion too much?

Actually, I pity you. Also, half of you aren't adults. You are in your teens but you talk about consenting adults. And I do understand people like that. They are the type who care too much about themselves even at the expense of others and obviously have been influenced by others quite heavily. Not my problem at all. I feel quite good in many ways.

How do you know this? Did you check? The E, according to his profile, is 28. I'm 24. Weather and Ford are 20. Nuke is 27. S-99 who started the thread is 24. Dekker is 26.

We are, evidently, older than you think. Even Mobius, who is 19, has demonstrated maturity beyond what is usually associated with his age (he's getting married to his...awkward as it is to put it this way..."mistake"). Do not foolishly dismiss us as young and intemperate. It is evidently a terrible mistake.

So spare us your pity. Save it for yourself.

Also, if you say it is their business, then maybe they shouldn't talk about it publicly and keep it their business (private). They shouldn't talk about the little things they do and then say it is their business. If it is their business, then maybe they shouldn't announce it. Talking about it so openly makes it other people's business. I really don't want to know about the crazy sexual things they do. Actually, talking so openly about private sexual things that they have done and even getting into details, especially with just anyone, isn't showing much respect for themselves or for the person they are talking about (talking in general, not about you in this paragraph).

On the contrary. Openly talking about sexuality is showing more respect for themselves then show them. They evidently believe they're worth talking about, you evidently do not.

However this whole paragraph is ridiculous, as nothing has been discussed in detail or anything remotely like detail. It's circular logic and straw man combined for one impressive fallacy of doom.

Man, why not close the topic so we can move on? Now I'm going to do some yard work and then continue fixing the grammar and spelling for the FOW COTS missions.

As Karajorma artfully illustrated in a recent thread, this is the coward's reply. Defend yourself, if you can, or surrender that your ideas are nonsensical, if you cannot.

[IceFire]

I'm not surprised that some would interpret freely talking about ones sexual being to be somehow disrespecting yourself but ...I'm surprised.  People who know me know that I'm actually fairly conservative socially but I'm quite pleased to be able to have a mature conversation about sexuality.  Its something thats been repressed and shunted away as something people only do behind closed doors and nobody should talk about it for far too long.  I suspect some of the problems people have with it are because expectations are set so high on an individual level...if people sat around and talked about it maturely then it would be more of an "everyday" (for some people it is!) thing.  Its still a stigmatized for some reason and yet its key to our health and well being as study after study has shown.

People do make bad choices but they do that with everything.  Not being careful crossing the street can lead to dire consequences as can sex.  People just need to get over it

As for S-99...I wouldn't necessarily let the age gap cause you concern but in this case it doesn't sound much like a healthy relationship.  No doubt an interesting experience in any case.

[Ghostavo]

I also won't say things like (...) and other false things that aren't a constant (it isn't always true). Also, I'm talking about mostly western society, and these days, pretty much the world when I say people are being too open, not necessarily the forum.

Am I the only confused about these two sentences? Saying that generalizing is bad followed by... a generalization?

[General Battuta]

Guys, just lay off High Max. He clearly has a unique perspective, and while he can be really condescending, he's not really working in the same world the rest of us are.

Let him do his thing. We can keep doing ours.

[IceFire]

No problem talking about sex, but I will not say "I did this and that with this and that person", but often times people will get detailed. I also won't say things like "loose" about a certain body part about an older woman on the forum and other false things that aren't a constant (it isn't always true). Also, I'm talking about mostly western society, and these days, pretty much the world when I say people are being too open, not necessarily the forum.

But others might.  And I suspect this has more to do with your own personal comfort zone... which I respect. However, if you go into a thread with the title "I like older women" you've got to know what you're getting yourself into.  Just try not to judge our other members so harshly.  We're not about to make HLP into a porn site...but a little discussion is quite alright.

Western society is not yet open enough about sexuality as far as I'm concerned but lets leave that there.  My definition of that is probably slightly different than what we're talking about right now.

[S-99]

As for S-99...I wouldn't necessarily let the age gap cause you concern but in this case it doesn't sound much like a healthy relationship.  No doubt an interesting experience in any case.

It was great while she was with me. But, yeah, i'd say it wasn't healthy either. Me and her didn't get it on. I just wanted to be with someone that was normal, and normal she was until i found out she has no obligations towards respecting a relationship herself.

[Ghostavo]

I also won't say things like (...) and other false things that aren't a constant (it isn't always true). Also, I'm talking about mostly western society, and these days, pretty much the world when I say people are being too open, not necessarily the forum.

Am I the only confused about these two sentences? Saying that generalizing is bad followed by... a generalization?

I don't recall saying "all" people. Maybe I should have been more specific.

It's what I get from posting at 3AM. 

[karajorma]

And no, my saying I have things to do is not cowardice. It means I have better things to do than arguing and I really don't want to stress over this. It isn't cowardice; it is grown up.

It's not grown up at all. You don't have to demand a thread lock. The option to simply leave and not come back to the thread exists. No one is forcing you to stay. In fact no one even solicited your original post in the first place. You decided to come onto the thread and post your opinions, that's fine, you're entitled to do that. But then then when other people want to respond to them you want the thread locked so that they can't. That's selfish. You don't have the right to demand the last word on the subject.

Furthermore if you are asking for a lock because you don't want other people to pick holes in your argument then that is cowardly. You posted your opinions. The others have just as much right as you have to post their thoughts on your opinions. If you don't like that you shouldn't have posted your opinions for public ridicule.

[S-99]

Trying to always have the last word in any argument is rather childish. It's why i just don't care when someone is very set in their ways.