Then report him. You've certainly got enough evidence that he is in the wrong to get something done about it without having to take the law into your own hands. You definitely shouldn't resort to name calling cause I'm monkeying you if I see that again. People seem to be taking the attitude that they can get away with **** and they really can't.
As for Phantom Hoover, it's obvious Spoon doesn't appreciate your attempts to make jokes at his expense, you really, really should stop. If I see any more of it, I'm just going to assume you're Darth Dickhead back again and IP ban you.