[est1895]

Checkout these excuses and see whether you have used them before or not? 

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-3633-Workplace-Issues-Theres-a-zebra-on-the-road-and-other-memorable-late-to-work-excuses/?SiteId=cbmsn43633&sc_extcmp=JS_3633_advice

Most memorable late excuses
If you're running late, it can be courteous to let your boss know. However, you may want to rehearse what you'll say before you actually say it. Whether it's real or not, if an excuse sounds too wild to be true, your boss is probably going to have a hard time being sympathetic.

Employers shared some of the most memorable excuses they've received from employees who were running late, including:
•Employee claimed a zebra was running down the highway and held up traffic (turned out to be true)
•Employee woke up on the front lawn of a house two blocks away from his home
•Employee's cat got stuck in the toilet
•Employee couldn't eat breakfast -- he ran out of milk for cereal and had to buy some before getting ready for work
•Employee was late to work because he fell asleep in the car when he got to work
•Employee accidentally put superglue in her eye instead of contact lens solution, and had to go to the emergency room
•Employee thought Halloween was a work holiday
•Employee said a hole in the roof caused rain to fall on the alarm clock and it didn't go off
•Employee was watching something on TV and really wanted to see the end
•Employee forgot that the company had changed locations
•Employee got a hairbrush stuck in her hair
•Employee was scared by a nightmare

[Klaustrophobia]

some of these don't sound as stupid as they should to me.  my neighbor did the woke up in the front lawn thing in my yard (though it was late night, not before work), and half of the cars in the parking lot have guys sleeping in them in the morning.  tons of shop workers arrive hours before their shift and sleep in their cars.

[S-99]

•Employee was watching something on TV and really wanted to see the end.

I like this one. It's not deceitful, even if the worker wasn't actually late to work for this reason. The worker could have been receiving some awesome head for all we care. At least it implies, yeah i ****ed off my responsibility in the implication of the message. This is much more appreciated than the dog ate my w4 kind of excuse. This excuse is great because you're showing your human side being able to admit to fault.

[Dragon]

Nice. Mine are usually rather generic "bus/tram/car got stuck in traffic". Occasionally, "tram didn't arrive/took a detour because someone parked on the rails". Believe it or not, it actually happens quite often. Thankfully, it's quite widely known that my city's public traffic system schedules are stupid, and that people don't know how to park on a narrow street, yet do it anyway.

Also, quite a few of those can be explained by sleep deprivation. I can easily see myself waking up at 4:30 (no kidding, I had to do this while in high school!) and promptly putting glue in my eye instead of eyedrops. Or forgetting that the company has moved.

[Mars]

I have in fact fallen asleep in my car in front of the warehouse where I work after driving there from the store I work at as well. It's actually pretty common. . . I'm not the only one who's done that. My warehouse boss has actually asked me to go out to the parking lot to see if the absent person is sleeping out there.

[S-99]

Reminds me of one famous time I called in for work ahead of my shift saying that I would not be able to show up or work as I had been injured.

I had hopped into a hot tub for an hour or so one night. I got out and proceeded not to sleep when i went to bed. I tried as hard as i could, just couldn't sleep. The next 3 days were pain, agony, and more no sleep. Questioning if i should go to the hospital, but i realized i was doing alright for myself and treatment. 3 days of no sleep. On the 4th day i showed up to work.

My manager who's a lesbian asked me how bad and what happened (the staff lead was the person who had received my phone call 3 days before).I told her chlorine burns. She tried to guess where. And i told her that i got burned at the very core of a man. She laughed really hard (she's seen the onion movie). I had very badly chemicly second degree burned my balls you see. No one at work could trump my call in story ever. All the coworkers that asked I told, and they had a great laugh.

Part of dealing with my injury was having a sense of humor despite sort of having fears of my sack falling off the days before I returned to work. I later emptied out my parent's hot tub, filled in fresh water. And when they got back from their trip told them they should add less chlorine, and I don't like chlorine anymore.

[Mongoose]

ooowwwwwwww

[FireSpawn]

One reason I was late was that I pulled my back getting out of bed (which left me unable to move for the better part of an hour), then when I hobbled into bathtub to have a shower the pain flaired up and caused me to slip and bean my head on the edge of the bath.

It was only me taking ibuprofen like M&Ms all day, being unable to stand straight or rotate my torso without breaking into a cold sweat, and the golfball that someone hid under the skin above my temple that made my manager believe me.

The dick still laughed at me though. And to be honest, I'd have laughed too

[jr2]

Well, there was that one time that I had a stomach bug and thought it as just hunger and lack of sleep.. so I ate, went to work, realized on getting out of the car that I was sick, and lost breakfast halfway to the bathroom.  On the positive side, everyone believed I was indeed very sick!

[Flak]

Traffic jam is the most common reason here. Knowing how bad the traffic here.

[Ghostavo]

This topic reminds me of something...