[Grey Wolf]

There's always this old standby:

The Pope and a lawyer died on the same day, and both went to Heaven. There they met Saint Peter at the gates. He said that he would take both of them to the places where they would spend all of eternity.
They went to the lawyer's place first. It was a giant mansion, with swimming pools and everything. Seeing this, the Pope became excited. I've lived a pious life in God's service. If a lawyer recieved this, imagine what I will recieve!
They traveled for a while, until they reached a street lined with houses. They were similar to the New York brownstones. The Pope turned to Saint Peter. "I lived a pious life and recieve this, and that lawyer recieves the huge mansion! Where is justice!"
Saint Peter looks back at the Pope, smiling. "We recieve spiritual leaders like you almost daily. But that man was the first lawyer ever to come here."

[vadar_1]

One day a group of men got killed in a car crash, and all accended into heaven. At the gates, St.Peter told them the only rule in heaven was don't step on a duck. They could do anything they wanted, but they couldn't step on a duck.
The men agreed, and St.Peter let them in. Everywhere the eye could see was a duck. Ducks everywhere. The first guy didn't make it an hour before he stepped on a duck. St.Peter came over to him with this horrably ugly woman and tied her to him. St.Peter told the guy, you stepped on the duck, this is your punishment. The next day another guy stepped on a duck. St.Peter tied another horrably ugly woman to him, and told him that was his punishment for stepping on a duck. One by one men were tied to horrably ugly woman for stepping on ducks. The last guy survived years without stepping on a duck. Then one day St.Peter came over to the man with an incredably beautiful woman, and tied her to him. The man asked, what is this for? The woman replied, I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

[Borealis]

[color=sky blue]ouch!!  :doh:

...that's a good one too...*steals it*[/color]  

[Stealth]

that is pretty good, i've heard it before, but still pretty good

[an0n]

Prepare to be horrified/amused/sickened/strangely aroussed:

Two friends leave a bar after a long night of drinking an partying. They part ways after a few hundred meters and each continue on their respective ways home. The next day the two men meet in the bar for lunch.
"You look rough" says the first man upon seeing his somewhat ragged friend.
"Yeah, I was up all night having the wildest sex you could possibly imagine."
"How the hell did you manage that?" asked the first man. "I left you at 2am."
"Yeah, well I was on my way to the bus stop when I see the last bus go flying past. And I didn't want to walk all that way home so I took a short-cut across the railway tracks. As I was climbing over the fence I saw this woman lying on the grass bank. Anyway, I took her back to my place and had her in every possible position. Missionary, anal, doggy, hand-jobs, over the couch, against the fridge."
"No oral?"
"Nah. Couldn't find the head."

[Blue Lion]

ew, yum

[Kitsune]

Hehe for of those, and while that last was morbidly funny, just gotta say, eewwwww...

[CP5670]

The last one didn't make much sense to me...

*turns this into a religious debate*

[Stryke 9]

I'm offended!

[Styxx]

Hmm, too many joke threads going. Wonder when the versus one will begin...

[Stunaep]

that's some funny ****. How come I didn't notice that before. Well,