[Dan1]

Alpha leader reporting for duty.....(Commander..) U've been gone a long time son...this is almost grounds for court martial...(Alpha ) sorry sir

(comm)..well alright...get suited up and get out there...the Shivans have taken on the GTD hectate Armistace.....(Alpha) YES sir.....(COmm..) and alpha leader...make sure the armistace makes it back in one piece..
"Alpha wing is awarded a wing of Ursa's and a full compliment of harbingers...." (Alpha leader..) Suit up...i want beta wing on my ass the whole time.....We need protection if we're going to destroy that Demon.....
And alpha wing....good luck..i'll take point like usual
"Just minutes before" "out in space..on the Armistace..." Damn CAPTAIN..we've got a DEMON class Shivan warship jumping in.....damn knososs portal...(CAPTAIN) ALRIGHT ..this is as good of time as any to try our new Beam weapons.....Hopefully those Vasudans got it right at arcadia station......(Weapons officer..) Reactors commin online now sir...READY!!! Captain..) FIRE........"A Beam of light rips through space towards the Demon...and punches a hole right through." (WO) SIR Direct hit....they're hull is down to 50%..but....we can't fire again...reactors overloaded.....(CA) WHAT!!! we had at least 5 shots the cannons melted and all the power was used at once..that's Y the impact was so powerful....DAMN....SIR....Zeta, and and Theta wings are gone....(Helms) We've got multiple jump points comming in.......(Ca) the calvary has arrived it seems...(Alpha wing follwed by beta and zithara wing) "(Made it up....LOL) appear...followed by a Vasudan Corvette...and one of the last remaining GTD Orion's from the first war.. (Alpha)...this is alpha wing to the GTD Armistace....can U hear me..?? (CA) Yes alpha...we'd help U but our beams are down...flack at 15% and our engines are almost gone...but our jump drives work...(Alpha) Good jump out now....we'll handle it...
(CA) Understood...good luck alpha wing...

(ALpha.) Thanks...alright boys let's get to work....


(Last we left off)
(Alpha) Alright boys let’s get to work
“Alpha wing unleashes a load of harbingers”  (Alpha) Come on baby..come on…
(Beta)  Sir!!  Incomming Dragons…their shooting our bombs…(Alpha) DAMN!!!   Alright …new plan…Alpha wing..we’re goen in hot full blast..we’ll ram these bombs right up that Demon’s tailpipe.  Beta wing continue to cover…That Orion is providing capship support but It’s old and I’d prefer it to get out of here in one piece…..
“Alpha speeds towards the Demon as Dragons pour out the hangers of the beast”  
(Alpha 3)  Alpha leader..there’s too many….i can’t   (Alpha) Hold it together……  (Alpha3)   I can’t….
“Alpha 3 bursts into a ball of firey plasma and hits a Dragon…”
(Alpha)  Damn…may his soul be at rest…..alright…Beta…U’re going to have to attack the Demon…we can’t let those Shivan bastards get control of this system…
(Beta) But sir….you need cover…
(Alpha)  Beta you have your orders……..and watch your back…..
“Alpha  and Beta streak to the Demon only about 3000K out..and Dragons swarming everywhere..fortunately the Orion and the Corvette provide a distraction…”
(Beta) Sir  the orion is taking a beating…should we return to help?
(Alpha)  Negative Beta…..this Demon is going down..and it’s only at 37%  just a few more harbingers should do it….
“A missle hit’s Alpha 1 and knocks out the weapons…”
(Alpha) Crap…..This is Alpha calling in support….
“A subspace apature appears in front of alpha 1”
(Sup) Support here sir..
“Support repairs the weapons subsystems while the shivans shoot the support..”
“Support explodes”
(Alpha) AAAGGHHHh!!!!!   That explosion took me down to 20%  (thinks ) ‘this just isn’t my day’ I’m only half supplied..
“By now Beta wing is mostly gone as are the other members of zithara wing who were protection the Orion and the Corvette are dead  only Beta 1 & 3  and Alpha 1, 2, &4…..”
(Alpha) Alpha to Vasudan Corvette…Target Demon and fire reroute any power to weapons…including life support , since you can turn it back on afterwords…and fire when ready..
“The beams turrets start to energize and then there’s an explosion.”
(Alpha) WTF is going on???  “The Corvette is destroyed”
(Beta) SIR!! The demon has shot some kind of energy wave towards the corvette..it destroyed everything in it’s path including their own dragons…
(Alpha) Oh great..this is just what I need..well let’s keep pushing it…going in hot…eveyone destroy that Demon….and that’s an order…
“The Orion while hoding it’s own is no match for the energy weapon..so the remaniants of Alpha and Beta proceed to fight through the ensuing chaos and are now within 400K”
(Alpha) Everyone give them everything you’ve got …all weapons and guns..let’s take this thing out…
(ALL)  YES SIR!!!
“A Multitude of streaks go towards the demon..impacting it and sending out a massave shockwave..”
“Alpha 4 and Beta 3 are destroyed in the explosions as do some Dragons from battle damage..Since Alpha went in fist he had a chance to veer off while the others were being shot at..((Perks of being Alpha 1)..
The demon is destroyed in a MASSIVE FIREBALL.  And it’s over ..the Dragons leave and all returns to normal”
(Alpha) Alpha Leader to command…it’s over …the Armistace is saved..Most of our fighter squadrons are gone as is the Corvette….and the Orion made it through intact…however you may want someone to look at my flight recorder data because the Shivans have some kind of new energy wave weapon….”
“As Alpha landed in the Orion’s hanger…he thought”  This is going to be big…and I know this isn’t over yet…….

This part is to conform to those of you who expressed concerns that your eyes hurt…

The leader of the Alpha squadron (what’s left of them anyway) climbed out of his ship and went to take a shower..and to sleep he went”
“Waking up the next morning..he took a shower (again) and went to the mess for some breakfast..””Upon entering the mess hall….”
“(BETA) Hi alpha leader..we’ve been promoted to the Alpha squadron since you lost your people..and we lost ours…I hope we can get along together…
(AL) Yeah..well..i hope so too…  So what’s up on the mission Breifing this morning?
(AL2) Well..first we have a prelimenary report on the events of yesterday pertaining to the energy pulse the vasudan corvette encountered..
(AL3) Yeah…as well on the overall defense against the Shivans for the GTVA…(whispers to AL) the news is that the Shivans new weapon is unstoppable..
(AL) Any more good news?  
(AL4) Well, rumor has it that we got some new ships and weapons on the last shipment..we don’t have to use those Ursa’s anymore..we got some nice Zues bombers…with some new Helios bombs…they’re supposedly more effective and have a greater impact yield..
(AL) Well that’s some of the best news I’ve heard all day…..spaeking of which..we’d better get to the meeting…
(Commander) Good work Alpha and Beta..although you are now all of alpha..The Armistace made it through the sortie in one piece and is now undergoing repairs in Vega..and the Old Orion did as well..since we don’t have many new Capship making capabilities online yet we have to keep what we’ve got..even if it is an old Junkard…
Now…for the bad news….the loss of the Vasudan corvette is a major blow to our hold on this system…with the Armistace gone and most of our fighter/bomber support gone..it’s going to be very hard..and there’s the matter of that strange energy wave..i’ve sent a detailed report to command with all of the data from the flight recorders of all ships…Command has yet to respond…however..i have heard of instances where this energy wave weapon has been used..
Thankfully it appears to take a lot of powering up..so if we destroy the ship before the wave becomes active we hopefully won’t have a problem…and to help us do that …we have just received a shipment of Zues bombers…with a full compliment of Helios missles as well….
As for future events..we’ve got a convoy coming through the jump node today..yeah..this is an escort mission…Alpha you’re assigned to lead it throguh use the Hercules II’s and you should be fine....get that convoy to the station when it comes through the jump node it’ll be vulnerable to Shivan attack…it comes through at 14:00 hours…so in about 5 hours from now….
Get it through..it’s carrying some important repair and upgrades for our fighters and bombers…okay now get out of here and prep your ships…DISMISSED…

[Solatar]

Is this for Freespace1, or Freespace2. Not sure what you are on about.

[Dan1]

uuuhhh.........did you read the KNOSSOS part..and a HECTATE is only in FS2......during the beginning of the 2nd war...Ursa's were still in use...not to mention...the Old Orion from the first war....  just to clear things up....

[Solatar]

Yeah, but Harbingers aren't in fs2, beams weren't new in fs2, all in all, that is very confusing

[aldo_14]

It hurts my eyes.

[Unknown Target]

Is that supposed to be a script or something? I could give you a couple pointers on stuff like that (like most ppl here know;) j/k):

For each new speaker, make a new line of text, and, for "action" sequences, put it in italics, with names in bold.

[Dan1]

This is just a story....and I'm not aware of an Ursa that can Use the Tsunami...   I could be wrong however.....

As for the comment about how to write it...thank you..i know this already..but it cuts down on length..that is how i originally had it...oh well...I wrote this at about 4am this morning on a sugar high from last night...



  take it however you want it.....thanks for all who responded...apparantly it was either alright or horrible..so I won't write any more unless people want me to....(or i'll just not post it here...)


And yes..i suppose i should've said Helios missles..but i wasn't thinking very clearly around 4 am in the morning....

And i absolutely have FS2...had it for 3 years now.. And i love it...the cuscenes are unmatched by any other game i've ever played..except FS1...

Another thing...yes i'm sorry about the type of put together story ...but U know...i've read worse before...(put together anyway..sometimes there's no visible differnce between where one person talks and an event starts...And to aldo_14   i'm sorry i made your eyes hurt....

I guess i'll just write more and keep it to myself from now on....(sighs..) or maybe at (Thor's unmentionable place...HAHAHA)

Thanks anyway..

[Solatar]

We like stories, just not all crammed together in a few big monaster paragraphs. Also, Neither Tsunamis, or Harbingers are in fs2. Do you even have freespace2?

[Knight Templar]

[Corhellion]

Nice:yes:

MORE!:D

[Star Dragon]

At least it's better than mine! Now I have to go back through chapter 1 and redo it
  Aw screw it. Since I don't have word you guys will never see it on Fanfic.com cause I can't upload it!

[Redfang]

That's... too hard to read for me.

Originally posted by Dan1
I guess i'll just write more and keep it to myself from now on....(sighs..) or maybe at (Thor's unmentionable place...HAHAHA)

 
Fattonys.com Forums is an0n's place.

[Dan1]

Alright...the votes of 75% (so far) outweigh 25% of not finishing it..or continuing anyway...I'll write some more tonight...when i'm half asleep (like all the others...)

Thanks to everyone that responded...

[Dan1]

Originally posted by Redfang
That's... too hard to read for me.


 
Fattonys.com Forums is an0n's place.

I know that...but it was unmentionable on another thread..probably because Thor pimps it a lot...oh well..i'm sorry i hurt your eyes....(laughs at the inability to read)...oh well...i'm still at 70%..i might put some more up later tonight...if you don't want to read it ..don't...

Thanks to all who responded...

AND thanks to Corhellion  i'll write more...(if i'm tired enough)

[Dan1]

There ...i fixed the newer version......