Oh, perfect timing. The creationist bus is coming to town soon, and I need religious hole poking practice.
Originally posted by hotsnoj
For the heck of it I'd like to start this again.
1. Your "Thoery" has been thought of before. And Basicly what you are doing with it is trying to make evolution fit in the Bible. Not only is this theory ludacris but it denies the whole purpose of creation (which you are semi-acknoledging is true), not to mention God. You see if there was death before Adam and Eve then God's rule about not eating the fruit was empty. Therefore even if they didn't eat it they would die.
Yep, it was an empty threat. Death did occur before people. We have the fossils to prove it (and I'm fairly sure they aren't alive)
2. If you are/were a Christian you should have rejected the whole idea about evolution from the start. And you'd have never thought up this already thought up theory.
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If you are/were a christian, then you mustn't believe in dinosaurs, trilobites, wooly mammoths, plesiosaurs, pterosaurs, sabre toothed cats, etc. etc. because we know that God would never let one of his species die out. I doubt that even the pope would reject the concept of evolution. Modern theologians know not to interpret the bible literally, and there is so much proof of evolution that it has been factored into the bible, mainly in the way stated above. You belong in an earlier century my friend.
3. Yes there are kinds, for instance Dogs, cats, and humans. Now within those kinds are species. Now we all know there are different species of dog (canine) like wolf, dingo, and the comman lab. Yes a wolf species could have eventuly been bred to produce a new species (varity). I agree with that because it can be explained with Biblical principles.
And which priciples were those? (Yes, this is a blatant attempt to find more ammunition
)
4. With the days you start with the Biblical creation and then fit in the evolutionary creation. This is totaly a bad design, because in the first place says the man knows when things happened (eg. when dinos died or when other things that have happened that we find with archology). Now we really don't know those date because we weren't there to see then happen our selfs.
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Actually, dinosaur study is the realm of palaeontology, but hey, who cares, it's a technicality. Just a point of note here - you weren't there when jesus was supposed to have walked on water, yet you obviously believe it happened. Same thing, only we have better evidence (Radioactive isotope dating and stuff, not just "It happened that way because I say it did")
If you are a Christian then you'd believe God is all powerful (this has been said in the other tread). Now you try to explain him to make him seem more and more less powerful. And that is totaly wrong, GOD IS ALL POWEFUL. Just because a murderer isn't found out doesn't mean that he didn't kill. It doesn't change the fact that he killed someone, even if he wasn't convicted or if he was.
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OK, Kind of I lost you with the murderer stuff, but hey, I've used a bad analogy below, I'll let you get away with it here.
Now lets seperate the Christian Bible, science, and Evolution like this - [Bible] [science] [Evolution].
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OK, why not? But it should be more like this
[Science[Evolution]]
[Bible]
As Evolution is a part of science.
Why were we doing this whole separation thing again?
Some if not all try to slam the Bible down by using one part of it and then slaming it with their aguments. In the process the acknowldge that part of the Bible is true but then ignore other parts. Like creation in the previous tread. You took the creation days and then claimed that God got things the way they are by Evlolution. Well that doesn't work because if there are pillars holding up a roof and half of them are granite and the other half sponge the building wouldn't stay up for long.
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Depends on where you placed the pillars I suppose. Anyway, the majority of the bible is stories and proverbs right? Where people don't do impossile things, so we can ignore them. And as for the rest, I'm yet to hear a shred of scientific evidence that any of them are true or even possible. So, ignoring them shouldn't really be a problem. We could attack all of them in good time if you want us too, but it'd get boring after awhile,as we'd be repeating the same things and you'd keep saying "But God is all powerful so he can do things like that!!!". BTW, while I'm on the subject, how exactly do you know that God is all powerful? Read the circular logic stuff below (in the long story quote). It might just be able to convince you to think a little about the motivations behind your blind faith. But probably not.
In the theory pf Evlolution people say that everything changed and changed. Then they claim science proves that it happened. But if science can prove Evolution happened how come it can't prove that the Bible it true?
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Because it isn't, you silly boy. You can't prove the bible anymore than you can prove that the sun rises in the west. You can tell people it rises in the west, but when they go and have a look for thmselves, they will be able to prove that it doesn't (well, not technically I suppose, but it's a bad analogy
). You can't prove what isn't true.
Make no mistake. Science is based on Biblical princeples. And Evolution is an escape from reality and rooted in mans sin.
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Science? Based on the principles of the bible? Let me give you a little history lesson. Science existed before the bible, before the existence of Jesus, or Mary, or any of tht lot. Science existed in Ancient Egypt, Babylon, Sumeria, Messopotamia. Science was one of the most significant legacies of the ancient Greeks and Romans, before any of their thinkers had read the bible. Science existed in the middle east, in China, in India, where other religions held sway and the bible was heretical. Science owes nothing to biblical teachings. Science transcends biblical teachings. Science is based on the accumulation of fact from undeniable experimental evidence, and refuses to rely on taking someones word. How can you say that science is based on the bible? They're complete opposites.
I thank God that he gave me a mind that can decipher this mess. [/B]
Well, maybe, but if I were you, I'd ask for a trade in. (Yes this was designed to be offensive. His comments on science and the bible have offended me).
Take a look at this. You may not understand it, because it's not meant to be taken literally, but hey, at least the rest of the board members (the ones that haven't seen it before, I know it's fairly old) might get a giggle out of it.
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:
"Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, he'll kick the **** out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do what ever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he kicks the **** out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?
John: "Hank has certain ‘connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass he'll kick the **** of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss his ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on From the desk of Karl letterhead. There were eleven items listed:
1.Kiss Hank's ass and he'll give you a million
dollars when you leave town.
2.Use alcohol in moderation.
3.Kick the **** out of people who aren't like
you.
4.Eat right.
5.Hank dictated this list himself.
6.The moon is made of green cheese.
7.Everything Hank says is right.
8.Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9.Don't drink.
10.Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11.Kiss Hank's ass or he'll kick the **** out of
you.
Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the **** out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says ‘Everything Hanks says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says ‘Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says ‘Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says ‘Eat right,' and item 8 says ‘Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says ‘Don't Drink,' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says ‘The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon came from the Earth has been discounted. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Aha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 5 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying ‘Hank's right
because he says he's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary blushes. John says: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary looks positively stricken. John shouts: "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary sticks her fingers in her ears: "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary faints. John catches her: "Well, if I'd known you where one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the **** out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
Oh, and one other thing. Do you believe in Santa Claus? Assuming that you don't, I'd like to know why. He's in a lot of books, and for years people told me (and probably you) that he was real, and that he did great things that seemed impossible (how does one dude get all around the world in such a short period of time?). Is anyone else getting recognition vibes here?
Oh, and one other thing. Run your posts through a spell checker please. It'll make this so much more pleasant.
