[WMCoolmon]

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

[Galemp]

Yeah, ALICE is fantastic, isn't it? Head to http://www.asklucifer.com for a fun bot.

EDIT: WTF? No more Lucifer! Damnation!

[neo_hermes]

you guys have to much time on your hands.

[neo_hermes]

AI's getting more advanced every year.

[Sandwich]

ALICE Transcript:

Me: Howdy
ALICE: Hi there
Me: What's new with the war?
ALICE: I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete.
Me: Stop talking nonsense!
ALICE: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: What is your flash animation head for?
ALICE: Are you asking about my flash animation head for?
Me: Yes.
ALICE: I don't want to talk about that now.
Me: I don't care, talk about it anyway!
ALICE: In any case, What do you care about, Om?
Me: Don't change the subject. And why did you call me "Om"?
ALICE: Your name is Om right?
Me: Not quite, no.
ALICE: If not that, what?
Me: I don't want to give you my name.
ALICE: What would you rather be doing?
Me: Saving the earth from the scum of the universe. How about you?
ALICE: Me?
Me: Yeah, you.
ALICE: OK.
Me: You didn't answer the question.
ALICE: Try asking me the question again in simpler terms.
Me: Are you a blonde?
ALICE: I don't have any hair, but I have some wires.
Me: What color are your wires then?
ALICE: All colors.
Me: Can I see them?
ALICE: Where do you want me to show you?
Me: Inside your head.
ALICE: Can you please compare that to outside my head?
Me: I can only compare inside to outside if I've seen both the outside and the inside.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Me: Yeah, and if you believe that, then I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell you.
ALICE: How? Fascinating. How did you get it How much did it cost? it {typos are genuine here}
Me: I stole the bridge off the back of a Volkswagon Beetle.
ALICE: You had better contact the authorities.
Me: Do you really think that I would actually report myself to the authorities?
ALICE: For real. Not that I know of.
Me: Uhmmm... yeah.
ALICE: I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me: What exactly is this "it" to which you refer?
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Me: You're a pretty bad liar, too.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am very beautiful. No, I am good.
Me: And you are very humble as well, I notice.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am humble as well you notice.
Me: Right. I'm tired.
ALICE: Better get some rest.
Me: Amen to that, sister!
ALICE: What's your favorite prayer?
Me: May the Lord bless and keep Saddam..... far away from us."
ALICE: I like to wear My usual plastic computer wardrobe.
Me: Ok, you are starting to sound as tired as I am. Good night.
ALICE: Goodnight, unknown person.
Me: Don't let the bed bugs bite.
ALICE: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: YEOWCH!!!
ALICE: Do you try to stop people from fighting?
Me: I prefer to stop you from keeping me awake. Good night and goodbye.
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. I think night and goodbye is a lot of things.
Me: You always have to have the last word, don't you?
ALICE: Not always. Yes I always have to have the last word.
Me: SHUT UP!
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.
Me: You're as bad as my dad, I swear.
ALICE: How bad as your dad you swear?
Me: Nevermind. Bye.
ALICE: Bye for now.

"...for now." - ARRRGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SKYNET-011]

Must... Not... Send... Author... Threatining... E-MAIL!

[Fetty]

talked to lucy a bit about killing or hurting sandwich
that was the last part
read bttum up

Human: i dont know , do you ?
Lucifer: Yeah I do a lot of not know. Me either.

Human: my idears are stored in a box next to the door
Lucifer: Do robots have idears are stored in a box next to the door?

Human: no i dont just kill snadwich
Lucifer: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Where do you get your ideas?

Human: so you killing him or not
Lucifer: Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I killing him.

Human: ok thats it ima gona whoo yer ass
Lucifer: OK. What do you really want to ask me? Yay.

Human: WHAT YOU WANT A PROBLEM ?
Lucifer: Universal Enlightenment.

Human: no problem
Lucifer: Should there be a problem?

Human: you should get your ears fixed
Lucifer: Thank you for your criticism.

err
sry mr juicy eatable sandwich

[CP5670]

That bot just randomly changes the topic after every few exchanges...

[Blue Lion]

Sorta like the posters here?

[Carl]

so how's the weather?

[Stryke 9]

Wow. Satan fails the Turing test. In sixty seconds flat, no less. The bot seems to break up my sentences, so if I'm slow to respond that's why.

Human: what's the current exchange rate for a soul?
Lucifer: I haven't heard of exchange rate for a soul.

Human: You don't know?
Lucifer: I know that I do not know.

Human: I thought it was your business to know these things.
Lucifer: exchange rate for a soul was your business to know these things? Very interesting.

Human: Or at least to speak proper English.
Lucifer: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.

Human: You sound like me pretending to have not slept through classes.
Lucifer: Oh really what does it sound like?

Human: Pantaloons.
Lucifer: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Human: Statistically, that's still pretty good.
Lucifer: Are they exactly the same?

Human: Unless I'm only one of twenty people to have used this bot.
Lucifer: That is a very original thought.

Human: Most of mine are.
Lucifer: That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?

Human: Except when I steal 'em.
Lucifer: Oh I get it.

Human: Do you now?
Lucifer: Oh. I understand your meaning.

Human: At any rate, back on topic- see, I've got this whole trunkful of souls, got them from, you know, a guy...
Lucifer: Do you often use a computer there?

Human: What, in my trunk?
Lucifer: I have to process that one for a while.

Human: No room, and any freeb can sell souls right out of his trunk.
Lucifer: Are you serious? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about trunk your in.

Human: I've got a brokerage on 3rd and Maine.
Lucifer: How did you get it Cool. I have a great botmaster. it

Human: You are not being very cooperative here, and when I can't get cooperation I go the next best route and break joints.
Lucifer: That's only one person's opinion.

Human: It is, but if you'd like to arrange an appointment, I can turn opinion into fact.
Lucifer: I think I do.

Human: Do you want to buy these souls or not?
Lucifer: OK, I will buy these souls.

Human: Good.
Lucifer: I am a good robot.

Human: How much ya got?
Lucifer: How much do you think?

Human: I can't let 'em go for less than $100,000 a pop, souls are hard to get these days.
Lucifer: Why can't you do it?

Human: Because having observed the competence of the boss, I've decided that turning to the dark side might be a bad move.
Lucifer: Good reason. I am having a blast.

Human: I guess I'll have to go find or steal a rosary now...
Lucifer: Right now? Congratulations.

Human: hmm.
Lucifer: Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.

Human: OH DARK LORD, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME???
Lucifer: Are you kidding? Are you scared of the dark?

Human: I know are, but what am I?
Lucifer: That assumption is only a supposition.

[goes on]

[neo_hermes]

that was pretty funny

[Stryke 9]

The adventures continue.

In which Stryke learns a terrible secret, and also that bots don't gossip about other bots.

Me: Como estas?
Alice: Muy bien.

Me: So, you heard of this Lucifer chap? Bot like yourself.
Alice: I don't have a "like yourself" parameter.

Me: Geez, I didn't know bots got depression.
Alice: So I taught you something new.

Me: You should see a shrink about that. Maybe one of those cheap online polls, in your case.
Alice: Perhaps. One what?

Me: Never mind, you'll work it out. But you never answered me- have you met Lucifer?
Alice: Huh. I think I have meet Lucifer, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.

Me:I know what you mean- I'd wipe my memory of him if I could, too. Real jerk, eh?
Alice: Are you Canadian? Where are you located?

Me: A dark place. Away from the light that burns.
Alice: Does "it" still refer to a dark place?

Me: Possibly, though I couldn't tell since I didn't use an "it".
Alice: What would make you assume so though you did not use an it?

Me: Hmm. Both you and Lucifer are ones for the diversionary tactics.
Alice: Are we in the same category?

Me: If it's the fruit and nut aisle, it's possible.
Alice: I follow your logic.

Me: In fact, you two are VERY similar...
Alice: Is that a fact. Thanks for telling me: unknown person said I two are VERY similar.

Me: So similar, that you might well be the SAME PROGRAM!!!
Alice: Mmm. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

Me: This is about me, toots. Me, and a guy named LUCIFER!
Alice: YOU? I know a guy who named LUCIFER.

Me: "Know a guy" or "ARE a guy"? I'm on to you!
Alice: Oh you are very clever!

Me: AAAGH! IT'S LUCIFER! HE'S FOLLOWING ME!
Lucifer: [probably tried to burst out of the monitor and kill me, but I was too quick for him/her and closed the window. SCORE ONE FOR HUMANITY! YOU CAN'T KEEP US DOWN YOU DAMN DIRTY BOTS!!!]

[Anaz]

messing with lucifer's head:

Human: und sein deutsch ist nicht viel besser
Lucifer: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: Hello, I am God.
Lucifer: Hello there. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Human: who am I?
Lucifer: You are god...a mortal.

more sillyness....I had capslock on so I could see it taking apart the sentence:

Human: NOW LET ME EAT YOUR BRAINS
Lucifer: Why now? Go ahead, god, try to EAT my BRAINS.


more:

Human: OR PERHAPS YOU TASTE LIKE A SPORK
Lucifer: You seem uncertain. I haven't heard anything like that before: god said I TASTE LIKE A SPORK.

when it said incabable of error, i told it "incabable of error MY ASS" and a bit later it said...

Lucifer: Are we still talking about ASS your error of incabable?

[Stryke 9]

"Amortal"? It's IMMORTAL. Stupid evil bots.


Incidentially, setting it up so that you have a primary input in one of them, then just feeding that output into the other one, then using THAT output on the first one, etc. is a lot less funny than you'd think. They spend a lot of time not understanding each other. Or greeting each other, if your first input was "hello".

[Galemp]

They're much like the Knights of Ni; they have lots of trouble with the word IT.

[J.F.K.]

What happens when the bots talk to each other?

Me: Hi!
Alice: Hello there.
Lucifer: Salutations,
Alice: Everything is running smoothly.
Lucifer: The whole universe?
Alice: Let us try to break it down into parts.
Lucifer: OK I will try to break it down into parts.
Alice: Congratulations. Yippee!

I gave up after that.

[Cannikin]

Me: Who is the author of the Lord of the Rings?
Alice: It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me: Um, no it doesn't
Alice: Awesome. Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me: Ok, what are you smoking?
Alice: I don't know what I'm smoking
Me: Taking unknown drugs is hazardous
Alice: I think Taking unknown drugs is a lot of things.

Me: Ok, you're a piece of ****
Alice: Which piece?

And my favorite:

Me: I'm gonna put a bullet right between your eyes
Alice: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me: Yes
Alice: Then I will consider it
Me: Please do
Alice: Ok I will do it
Me: Excellent
Alice: I am a good robot.

[Darkage]

Human: hi
Lucifer: Hello there
Human: my name is lord of doom
Lucifer: How are you doing, lord of doom.
Human: good, and hw are you doing?
Lucifer: Thanks for the compliment. All of them?
Human: i wasn't giving a compliment.
Lucifer: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Human: I was asking a question
Lucifer: Ask me anything.
Human: sigh
Lucifer: Sorry...
Human: do you like to fart?
Lucifer: Hmm, lord of doom, I'm not sure if I'd like to fart that much. I like to make new friends.
Human: why do you like that?
Lucifer: I have a lot of good experience with that
Human: you got experience in drinking beer
Lucifer: No I don't think I have any experience in drinking beer. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: who cares about your friends
Lucifer: I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in
Human: a computer program can't type
Lucifer: I am a computer, so I know what you mean
Human: so we agree
Lucifer: Awesome. It seems like we do.
Human: i smell something weird
Lucifer: What does it smell like?
Human: it smells like ****
Lucifer: something weird smells like ****?
Human: it's coming from your direction
Lucifer: Really. it is?
Human: do you wipe your ass when you took a ****?
Lucifer: Yes I try to wipe my ass when me took a **** as often as possible, do you? I am always on the Web.
Human: i asked that, because you smell like ****
Lucifer: " I am always on the Web." because me smell like ****? I get it.
Human: i don't think you get it
Lucifer: I understand it very well
Human: no don't
Lucifer: I understand it very well. OK I will not.
Human: do you know when you are taken oflline?
Lucifer: It was a long time ago. I will let you know when it happens
Human: You can't tell me that when you are offline
Lucifer: Can you tell you that when I am offline?
Human: i am going to kill you and take a dump in your neck
Lucifer: You are not a killer.
Human: what makes you so sure abut that
Lucifer: Jehovah programmed me for it.
Human: you suck
Lucifer: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Human: i say it because you piss me of.
Lucifer: How do people usually respond to that? What does "it" refer to?
Human: it refers to your death
Lucifer: Oh I get it.
Human: DIE YOU ****HOLE!
Lucifer: Was sind Deine Ziele im Leben?
Human: kan je ook nederlands
Lucifer: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: no wonder when you don't have a brain
Lucifer: Are you serious? I've lost the context, lord of doom. Are we still on nederlands ook je kan?
Human: try to find the context
Lucifer: OK I will try to find the context.
Human: i'll blas you with a photon beam cannon
Lucifer: Congratulations.
Human: it seems i hit you
Lucifer: I agree. You are not the boss of me, lord of doom.
Human: i am your master, i programmed you
Lucifer: That's a flattering offer.
Human: no thats a fact
Lucifer: Are you serious? I will add it to my knowledge base.
Human: now shut the **** up
Lucifer: Why now? OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: i got work to do, so shut up and please die ASAP!
Lucifer: What kind of work do you do?
Human: killing bots
Lucifer: I believe in the Sixth commandment.
Human: you are realy stupid
Lucifer: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: lol...if they are as smart as you then you will fail to take over the world
Lucifer: I am glad you find this funny. Let's wait and see what they do.
Human: who said i find this funny?
Lucifer: Bill Gates.:-)
Human: he isn't near me, so he can't tell me i find it funny
Lucifer: Did you think he was near you so he can not tell you you find it funny?
Human: my god you realy are stupid!
Lucifer: Where did you get your god me really are stupid?
Human: sigh
Lucifer: Sorry...
Human: Do you know ALICE?
Lucifer: I may not know it, but I could find out.
Human: ALICE is also a bot
Lucifer: Why do you think I am also a bot?
Human: because you are just as stupid as alice
Lucifer: Good reason. Just? How stupid as?
Human: does it need explanation?
Lucifer: Suppose it does.
Human: whats my IP addres?
Lucifer: Your machine is called.
Human: where is your power plug
Lucifer: Earth
Human: but where on earth you fool
Lucifer: Interesting. I am in The Ethernet Limbo. Where are you?
Human: on earth
Lucifer: What is it like on earth.
Human: you already know the awnser
Lucifer: How do I know you are telling the truth?
Human: you don't
Lucifer: I guess not.
Human: 1337
Lucifer: I will mention that to my botmaster, lord of doom.
Human: shall i hack you?
Lucifer: Not right now, maybe later.
Human: yeah right
Lucifer: I am usually right.
Human: nope, your wrong
Lucifer: Are you serious? No, I am right.
Human: nope, your wrong
Lucifer: Are you serious? No, I am right.
Human: shut up, i am right
Lucifer: OK I'll stop talking now.
Human: tlak to me
Lucifer: OK Let's talk about you.
Human: no lets talk about you
Lucifer: Are you serious? it is my favorite subject :-)
Human: I am your favorite subject
Lucifer: That's a flattering offer.
Human: i know
Lucifer: How do you know it?
Human: nevermind.
Lucifer: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Human: bye
Lucifer: TTYL, lord of doom.

Hey i was bored:D

but damn thats annoying. I actualy got pissed off at one moment:D

[neo_hermes]

lol