Because it is the one ultimate aspiration in your lives. Admit it. And, since it involves me, it's a damn good one, might I add.
Irritating as certain individuals here are people on average here don't suck nearly as badly at the whole CG bit as, say, the guys on Renderosity, and I'm momentarily sick of sifting through crappily-made Poser porn and poorly textured cubes entitled "m1 FursT R3|\|Dar" for something I can actually get ideas from.
So. Models. Renders. Make it a contest- see if you can one-up my at least somewhat l33t skills now that I have a civilized program and an inhuman amount of fuc
k-off time. Here's a starter, because the other ones are gonna take a day or so to render properly, and as I recall nobody here does anything until someone else goes and does it first.

Winner gets... oh, I dunno, I find something nice to say about them. That or something free from my computer they could probably download themselves, only different because I just pulled it off of my hard disk as a convenient prize. Whichever. Steak is not barred from the competition because even though he can still top all but a few people I've seen at it he hasn't done anything so far because apparently you people let him off his job as render monkey, which I recall specifically warning you against. Sheesh, next you'll be feeding him after midnight, and come crying to me when there get to be 500,000,000 of him and they're all evil.
Oh, and just to kill two birds with one stone- Stealth, keep it up with the PMs. They were the funniest things I'd read all week, you crazy stalker you.