So I'm sat there at like 2am watching the late-night repeat of Johnathon Ross (a semi-funny chat-show hosted by a king-fu fanatic movie-reviewer), sipping/guzzling back a fine whiskey and flicking through directories on the laptop to see what my delightful archive of pornography had to offer for the evening's viewing. But my attention wandered from this fine cluster of multi-tasking when who should appear on the TV, but non-other than the young, attractive and very talented Ms Alicia Keys.
I appeared to have no pr0n left on the computer due to a recent spate of low disk-space warnings so I switched from one idiot-box to another and sat, slack-jawed, watching the young Ms Keys be interviewed.
About half-way through the following happened:
Ross: You've actually got quite stubby hands for a piano player *holds his hand up to measure*
Alicia: You just wanna touch me, don't you?
Ross: No..well, yes. But I'll be touching your breasts later. A contraband inspection, you see. You're in our country now. You have to obey the rules.
Alicia: *sits giving him a funny look and eventually puts her hand up to measure against his*
Now, I have absolutely no idea why he said what he did next. I have no idea what was going through his mind or how many drugs he'd taken but it was possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen. I almost choked laughing. He looked her straight in the eye, cocked his head slightly to one side, all while maintaining the hand-measure and said in a half-assed, poorly-mimiced seductive tone:
"Y'know, if we were Vulcans, we'd be married now....."
