How big is your swap file? In the last few weeks I have also been encountering a memory related, sudden, seemingly random CTD in some of my missions, although it does give the error message "out of memory" along with the call stack stuff. I can find the incident in errorlog.txt from the date, but there is no mention of any vram thing.
I have 512mb physical RAM and an equally large swap file, and the only background programs running are explorer and systray (this is WinME); I would have thought that this should be enough, and it was enough until one of the more recent versions (perhaps one of the 3.55 offshoots), whereupon the memory usage seemed to increase something like tenfold.
Also, since version 3.55 onward I cannot run both fs2_open and fred2_open simultaneously (one always gives a memory error), something I had no problem with in earlier versions. It's rather inconvenient since I keep having to close the game to make any changes in my missions while debugging them.
I know it has been remarked several times around here that fs2_open (the 12_05_2003 build) is using up way too much memory, much more so than it did before. If any of you SCP guys see read this, are there any plans to fix this memory issue during the current "code freeze" stage? The in-mission crashes (without an error; e.g. the targeting bug) seem to be gone at least for me, so this is the most pressing problem now.