Man... I'm reading a rather psychotically odd book right now, called THE BONES OF THE EARTH by Michael Swanwick... Its basically a time travel book where paleontologists get to study their favorite beasties for real, while taking into account a multitude of paradoxes and counter paradoxes as well as a phychotic militarist Christian Terrorist movement...
I gotta admit the book is slightly "interesting" but seriously, every page has me going "WTF?!"! Its like reading a damn Paleontologists Wet-dream! Its quite... Well, let me explain...
Someone has made a time machine/funnel thingy, the writer doesent care to elaborate. The guys who invented it wish to keep it secret. But they wanna do something with it. So they hire a whole bunch of paleontologists to go back in time to research dinosaurs. But still keep their findings secret. Well, at this point I was rather struck by the fact that these paleontologists are put at such high regard. I mean, wouldn't the goverment rather but it to some more sinister use? Anyway, their noble deeds get done, and people start resereaching dinosaurs. Then things get complicated. When the hero "gets the opportunity of a lifetime" he goes to a mass paleontologist conference in the future, ten years into the future, that pritty much has people from all over time arrive. (only people from the creation of the time machine and its future mind you.) Basically its a seminar. And paleontologist from the future lecture paleontologists from the past saying before each speech how great the books of the audinece members were and how much it inspired them to become paleontogists, even though these people heavent written them yet. And they pritty much say that there isnt much they can teach them, since all they KNOW is from the people they're lecturing, who also don't know what they WILL know in the future...
Still following? Well it gets even better...
By now, my head was swimming with the crazy ammount of paradoxes I just read. Then there's a small explenation about paradoxes during the conference. The explenation is pritty much this. Paradoxes can happen, and they do. Because the writer says so. But they ofcourse usually try and not have them happen. Or certain things are not adressed as paradoxes. So pritty much at this stage I'm totally confused. Somethings are srious paradoxes while others (that would be serious in my mind) arent. so now, we have a whole slew of Paleontologist teams from across a 90 year span all from different eras working with each other in different dinossaur times, trying to figure them out. All the while writing books and publishing and giving them to their predecessor to learn therefore giving themselves the knowledge to write the book in the first place. And then theres this ONE guy who controls it ALL! He pritty much jumps from time to time, doing things to keep things from going sour, sometimes bumping into his future or older self, or meeting his older or younger workers, and usually arguing with his boss (which is also himself, but much older). So you cant seriously believe how bloody flawed this book is with its paradoxes!
anyway, if you're still with me, we also have some weird ass love triangle thing going on. Our main hero got duped by his future love, who was in her fifties, before she got whisked away by the boss, who tells him he's an idiot for almost having sex with a woman twice his age and one who slanders his work. He then show him a future article about his book he hasn't written yet. So now, he doesent like this woman anymore, so everytime he sees her he's angry. So when the young aspiring version of her meets him the first time during one lecture, he finds out who she is and gets agnry, and storms off. She then takes it personally and slanders his book... But still for some reason, she tries to have sex with him every chance she gets, all at different times in his life, and he likes I think one of here ages. Where they actually fall in love. So... He hates her past self, her future self, and most of her present self. But somewhere is his true love. Ok. And all of those selves are competing with each other. To get him...
yeah... I thought you were scratching your heads. But trust me, I'm making it all the more straight forward than in the book. Anyway it gets better...
At somepoint, the woman decides to spill the beans about the whole project and snatch a dinosaur baby and show it to the world, in the future. Everyone cheers and time travel has become public. No upheaval, no nothing. Everyone is happy. And the paleontologists still use it almost solely for themselves. Anyway, when time travel became public and dinosaurs were show for the first time in the flesh... This got the creationists all in a frezy. I mean serious frenzy. Time travel threatens ttheir whole belief! And they become militarist and terroristic! First they attempt to prove their theories by sending bodies into the past and have them fossilize in order to dis-prove carbon dating, and such. Then they decide to also assassinate some of the major paleontologists as well....
Ok... So at this point I totally realized that this writer is some bloody pompous assed science proffesor with too big a grudge against religeon in general. I mean every chance he gets, he takes a stab at religeon. (I personally am not a really religeous person, but it starts to annoy me when someone keeps on ranting about things such as religeon in general) He also writes way too lovingly about dinosaurs. Everytime they pop up, its like he's... I mean ****, its almost like he's getting off on the subject.
I mean seriously, Creationist extremists?!! YES! The paleontogists worst enemy! But the gung ho action hero dino explorers can survive anything! From plastic explosive remote controls, to building a wooden long house in the mezozoic era when they get stranded!
Then theres the paradoxes. I wont even get into to that... Except that at some points it seems everything is in control since, time pritty much can be controlled, and everything that can happen, HAS happened therefore there is prior knowledge to it. Still people have to wait around to be rescued, while in some cases people can't seem to do things on time! yeah.... So if you wanna read an interesting crazy trip into a mind of an idiot. Read the book. BONES OF THE EARTH! Every paleontologists Wet Dream!
