[an0n]

Did daddy spike your Diet Coke (™©) again?

[Stryke 9]

I like how he's mistyping with keys that aren't even close to each other. Gives it that authentic air... oh, wait, no it doesn't.

Seriously, what does faking drunkenness get you? Do you think we stop and say "Hey, wow, that guy on the Internet has alcohol! I've never even seen the stuff, mummy and daddy say it's an evil devil-drink of the devil and I must obey my parents! How cool and/or exciting is he?"

Hell, even if you were it'd be more like "Hey, you've got a hold of some booze, instead of going out and hanging out with friends or vomiting on the local landmarks you sit there alone and type incoherent messages to people on the Internet. How sad is that?"

[Nuke]

1127 timez!!! andz i doweznt havee a dazsddy brecauze my miomxzz a whorez ajnds shez nevzer goszt marriez sd so im a bzsztard, happyz nowznd bmothafuzker !!!

[Nico]

"yawns"
Hep, admins, he insulted me, I'm offended, ban him

[an0n]

Does anyone actually type any worse when they're wasted?

I know I ****ing don't.

If anything, I type better c'z I don't delegate the typing to an automated part of my subconcious while my higher brain functions think about Zoe in that tight little bathing suit she wears to work and how her boo.................err.............Anyway.

[pyro-manic]

anon: just take the job, then piss about so you get the sack after about a week .

Or get a job at a garden centre or diy place -  easter season is the busiest time, and they're usually hiring about now. Try B & Q - I know they're taking people on now (I work for 'em). Crappy job, but the pay ain't too bad.

[an0n]

I was thinking of just sending such an appaulingly ****ty CV that Williams would just laugh and tell me to **** off.

And if I'm forced to get an actual job, I'm going for night-shifts, shelf-stacking at Morrisons.

It pays a stupidly high amount per-hour for a shelf-stacking job and because it's a night job I wouldn't have tp ****-up any customers for being dicks.

[Stryke 9]

It's easy enough to fail a job application, anyway. Just hint at a poorly concealed criminal record, or take up a twitch during interviews.

The worst thing is, I know more about intentionally ****ing them up than I do about getting hired.

[Nuke]

heesz uszed the f worsd, he shoulzd be bannesd ! kixzxk hiz asz!!

[an0n]

Originally posted by Stryke 9
It's easy enough to fail a job application, anyway. Just hint at a poorly concealed criminal record, or take up a twitch during interviews.

Haha.

"Well, I need the job. I've been hella-poor since I got kicked out of college."
"You were kicked out of college?"
"Oh, not for anything serious. I just had a disagreement with one of the teachers."
"What kind of 'disagreement'?"
"Well, he said my theories on infinites within polynomial differentiations were totally unorthodox, so I set his car on fire."

[Stryke 9]

Heh. Me, I've been saving up "And why do you want to work at___?/ I want the rewarding experience I know this job can give me, I believe I can genuinely help people in this position, and I just need a few more hundred before I can get this sweet AR-15 subautomatic I've had my eye on."

Oblique references to cult membership or some hideous terminal illness are always good for the expressions they get when they figure it out, too.

[Nuke]

immz a communizt even n tthough my cheazy american government is a borjoyzee motherfphucker. mozt people in thiz fgovernmepnt arez capitalizst mofoes, in fackst i owas goeszing to joinne the militarie szo i woiuldnt have participate inte the capiztalist practices of my evil brestrewn

[kode]

okay, this is actually yesterdays reason to frown, but since my itnterntet is still down:
my bike is busted
my internet is shut down
my collection of old school work and my collection of carefully ripped mp3's are gone along with a partition on my brand new hard drive.

[Knight Templar]

/Me Sunburnt today. Yelp.

[Thorn]

Its snowing. Again.

[neo_hermes]

My left leg's gone numb. maybe this is a sign? maybe i should finally kick my dog off my leg. meh i'll let him finish then give him a cigarette.

[Gortef]

snow flies horizontaly

[Setekh]

Better do something about that leg, Hermes.

Gotta wake up at 5:30am tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.

[Nico]

I can't seem to get the opportunity to be alone with a certain person so we can talk.
Most frustrating.

[Setekh]

I empathise there. In fact, now that I think of it, I have exactly the same reason to frown myself.