I was only half remembering it, I remembered it started with an X
Xenu is the guy, a little something something, this is acurate as far as I remember about scientology
"Some 75 million years ago, Xenu was the ruler of the local Galactic Federation (which, as everyone knows, encompasses the planet Earth, called Teegeeack back then).
Xenu was an evil ruler, according to Hubbard. Xenu also had an overpopulation problem in the many planets of his political realm. So he rounded up the excess population, froze the people in glycol, transported them to Teegeeack in rocket ships that looked like the commercial DC-8 jetliners [prop aircraft] flying back when Hubbard wrote level.
Curiously, Hubbard does not say how many years it took these rockets to cross interstellar space, nor how they carried enough fuel to accererate and deccelerate. He completely finessed those issues.
Anyway, Xenu then placed the frozen people into volcanic craters on Earth (Hubbard specifically mentioned Hawaii and Las Palmas volcanoes, which geologists will tell you did not exist 75 million years ago) and then detonated nuclear bombs over their heads, killing their meat bodies, vaporizing them completely, and freeing the spirit beings that were within.
If all that were not bad enough, Xenu then allegedly trapped all the free floating Thetans with some sort of electronic ribbon traps. After all, these Thetans were OT. They could travel back to their home planets before the DC-8s got back.
Xenu didn't want them back. He had to confuse them, make them too confused and stupid to want to go back. So, Hubbard says that Xenu next brainwashed and implanted false memories into the trapped Thetans. He did this by forcing them to watch movies, in the same manner that the young droogie was brainwashed by the authorities in the book "A Clockwork Orange."
Be assured that I'm not kidding here. This is really what the "Wall of Fire" teaches.
Please bear with me, we're almost done.
A quick side bar: Hubbard alleges that the entire religion of Christianity comes about due to one of these implanted false memories, which Hubbard called "R6." In R6, the ribbon trapped thetans were shown films of crucifixtions. Hubbard taught that the effects of the R6 implant on today's society is to make us feel irrationally sympathetic to Christ's crucifixion, and makes us predisposed to become Christians. Hubbard clearly implies that Xenu's brainwashing of people to be sympathetic toward a crucified Chirst is really just a manupulation and control process, and by implication, Hubbard probably felt that in being a Christian, one is not free of Xenu's devious plans to keep all the Thetans of this planet subjegated. In effect, the R6 lesson teaches that only Scientology can help all the poor, brainwashed, deluded Christians.
For the record, I am not a Christian. If I were, this teaching would really offend. But even as a secular person, I am offended by the lies told in Scientology's marketing hype, which claim that Scientology is fully compatible with Christianity. Scientology, at the upper levels, is decidedly hostile toward Christianity, and in fact, to all other organized religions as well.
Also, keep in mind that these bizarre Xenu and implant teachings are taught ONLY to those at the upper levels. They are not generally known by lower level adherants. I've seen Scientologists who have not yet advanced to the OT3 level deny that Scientology would ever teach stuff this goofy sounding. I just smile to myself.
But I digress. To finish up the story of Xenu, according to Hubbard, some "good" people, or "loyal officers," as Hubbard called them, within the Galactic Federation, finally realized that Xenu was a bad dude. They mounted a coup-d'etat, deposed him, stripped him of his position and threw him into an electronic mountain prison, somewhere in our Galaxy, where he remains to this day.
Luckily for us, Hubbard came along in the 1950s and "discovered" what really happened. He "discovered" the "fact"
that we all have been implanted by Xenu with R6, R2, and other false brainwashing implants. Hubbard then selflessly designed a program, Scientology, which will free us (for only a small fee) from these delusions.
Aren't we so very fortunate to have such a man in our corner?"
