[an0n]

I realise this is more of a continuation of the Smallville thread, but the sheer hate I feel after rewatching Spiderman is so immense I feel it warrants its own thread.

I mean, dear God! How retarded do they want to make Parker?

Even in the original, campy, 70's cartoons he was only a bumbling idiot.

In the film he's bordering on 'stalker'. Every scene with that smarmy bastard Toby McGuire reminds me of that Robin Williams film. Y'know the one where he works at the photo-place and snaps and goes after that family with a chainsaw?

Well, you probably don't, because I got bored of watching the stupidity and made up the chainsaw ending in my head to amuse myself while my subconcious tried to erase all memory of what I did see of the film.

But still, what a complete flippin' nut-job they've made Parker. Before he was just out of his league. In the film he's out of his goddamn mind.

By the end I was about one stupid, dumbass, McGuire-smirk away from standing up and screaming at the TV to show me an ending that had Parker being torn to teenie-weenie spider chunks by the Goblin's glider.

Can't they make just one super-hero film (with a plot; **** the Hulk) without it turning into some kind of offensive against my senses?

I just hope Iron Man genocides some people......

[Unknown Target]

Everything's offensive to you

Anyway, Spiderman was actually funny and interesting in the comics. In the movies, he's a frickin pussy! He did not make ONE wisecrack, and I was afraid he was gonna cry every time he got hit!

Anyway, I agree, I hope Iron Man does so. Or at least kicks some serious ass

[an0n]

At least I can look forward to some fine-ass woman getting forced into some tight, blue spandex to play Sue Richards in the Fantastic Four film.

[phreak]

[IceFire]

I thought Spiderman was great.  One of the best superhero movies I've seen recently.  Parker is definately different than in other iterations but he seems fairly real...it plays up the concept of growing up, responsibility (a staple of spiderman plots), consequences of ones actions, I even like how he gets bullied at school and how he learns about his powers mostly by accident.

Provided that the character grows and he's not entirely the same in the next movie it'll be ok.  But I sort of like his detatchment from whats going on around him, he's not terribly popular either as Spiderman or as Peter Parker (although one is considered a threat to society and the other is consideredly totally harmless).

I like what they have done...

Obviously not everyone does but then you can't possible please everyone now can you.

[an0n]

Sure you could.

The only people who watch the films are comic book geeks, women who wanna screw the male lead and men who wanna screw the female lead.

So if you put Brad Pitt as Spiderman and....well, Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane, then basically just replayed the comics you'd please everyone.

Look at Troy. They know what the people want. Accuracy, death and hot men. So what do they give you? Accuracy, total and utter ****ing carnage, and like a million of the worlds best looking men.

[Unknown Target]

Even IF the whole thing was exploring the concepts of growing up and whatnot, growing up, in my experience, does not turn you into ap ussy who's mouth barely moves, and has almost no emotion.

[mikhael]

Dear god, Troy looks horribly horribly bad. Like Dolph Lundgren Punisher bad. Same for the new King Arthur flick.

[diamondgeezer]

I'll give you a dollar if you tell me you're making the King Arthur thing up

[Grey Wolf]

There is a King Arthur movie in development. One with some semblance of someone opening a history book. Not sure how good it will be though.

[mikhael]

Its out this summer here, GW. It claims historical authenticity. The first thing it does is recast Guinevere as a Celtish warrior woman (a hot one mind you).

Celtish warrior woman. Guinevere. Yes, and Arwen picked up Frodo and saved rode with him to Rivendell.

[diamondgeezer]

This is conclusive proof that God exists, and that he hates us

[Rictor]

However bad Troy turns out to be, Brad Bitt has like a zillion cool movies behind him so he's forgiven. But, from a "lookit dat, DEAAAATH" perspective it seems decent enough.

To wrap up some key points: Peter Parker is alright in the comics, never seent the movies and don't care, anon whines to much about superheros, it probably has something do with his sexuality or lack thereof, Calvanists and Quakers should just settle their differences and live in peace, Spiderman 2 looks gayer than an interior designer, and I personally have nothing against Hollywood using good looking chicks to prop up worthless movies.

Also, whathisface is filming a movie about Alexander the Great with Collin Farrel and is reputed to have massive battles, that guy who did Requiem for a Dream is filming a Lone Wolf and Cub film, which I have never personally read but like the sounds of.

And that has been part three of the agonozing pain in which I live in every daaaaaaay. And a good Moleman morning to you all.

[Sandwich]

An0n, what did you think of X-Men 1 and 2?

[Liberator]

Those don't count, they were made by a comic geek(Brian Singer).

In defense of Peter McGuir..Parker, the whole movie is right after he gets his mojo and he's still grieving over the death of his uncle/Father Figure.  It's probably going to be a little difficult to come up with zingers to pummel your enemy with.  Add to that the Spidey in the comic has had nearly 40 years to develop the character.  The movie had to do it in slightly under 2 hours, a few exceptions will have to be made.

BTW, I don't like what they did to Storm in the movies, she is seriously depowered.  I mean I understand them leaving the part about playing a goddess in darkest africa out, the ultra-righties(not me) would be all over it and it would get cut out anyway, but she's not called the Mistress of the Storm for nothing.  She can stop and start the Hulk's at will you know.

[Unknown Target]

They still had spidey's character in the first or second issues. He actually LIKED his powers (until, at least, you got the "mature" 80s issues, bleh).

Anywho, even in the second one, he looks like he's gonna be a pussy.

[IceFire]

Originally posted by an0n
Sure you could.

The only people who watch the films are comic book geeks, women who wanna screw the male lead and men who wanna screw the female lead.

I've read maybe two comic books in my life.  Not a women.  I suppose the third applies (she is quite good looking) but honestly...do we have to see the world with such a narrow perspective?

[Bobboau]

Originally posted by diamondgeezer
This is conclusive proof that God exists, and that he hates us

she

[Unknown Target]

Originally posted by Bobboau

she

Does it matter?
Lol, don't turn this into a religious debate.

[Bobboau]

only a woman could bring forth such suffering upon mankind