[Marauder]

OK dudes, after readin' the first three pages of that INCREDIBLY long thread that was linked by Carl, I've decided to give you a story starter.  Yes it's on our beloved Admiral Aken Bosch.

Keep it cool.

~*~*~*~*

One day Bosch got out of bed and groggy from sleep took a shower. Wrapped in a towel he wandered over to his closet and saw a Shivan inside, munching on his uniform.

[Ransom]

He opened a cabinet to get his anti-Shivan bugspray when he realised his hands were life-size clones of Ronald McDonald. Knowing this, he was able to...

(PS: I don't think some of the community likes these threads very much for some reason)

[TrashMan]

..pummel the shivan to death with the Ronalds (and kill them too in the process) which made him very happy, as he hated both.
Now he had to dispose of the bodies, so he...

[Swamp_Thing]

..squished the shivan with his giant hands, and stuffed the bloody pulp into a beer can and went back to sleep dreaming of glorious conquests and little martian girls wearing short skirts and ribbons in their antennas. When suddenly...

[Ransom]

...a demonic can of beans jumped down his throat and he flew out the window. This was very fortunate because...

[Killfrenzy]

....Killfrenzy and the OSFC were rampaging down the corridor, wanting to avenge the death of the Shivan at the hand of the Ronalds.

Hmm, Ronald MacDonald vs Plasma Weapons!! Just as the Ronalds were fried into pieces, Bosch, picking himself up from the floor noticed that.....

[Swamp_Thing]

..someone else had written their post before him, so he had to quickly edit it and get back on track. And then he heard a voice in the loud speakers:"Comdt Bosch, please report to the Bridge". And so he...

[Ransom]

...put on his trendy new jetpack and flew around a bit. When this failed to get him to the bridge, he...

[redsniper]

yelled "NO! NO! TaS! Why can't it die?!"

[Liberator]

When no one answered, he toss the jetpack out the window and onto the flightdeck below.  When an inhuman scream erupted, Aken knew he had blown his only chance of forming an alliance with the shivans.  Ambassador Whirlygig was dead.

[Kie99]

SO Bosch revived the Shivan using mouth to plasma cannon resuscitation, but...

[übermetroid]

Something was wrong.  No longer did the Shivan view its self as destroyer but as a .....

[aldo_14]

..pink tutu wearing cross dresser named Mimi.

[TrashMan]

..So Bosch, realising a even greater threat to the galaxy, threw another jetpack on the shiv ambassodor Whirlygig..er...Mimi.

[Swamp_Thing]

And they both had a wild unbridal sex session with eachother, all night long. But then the land lord came to collect the rent and...

[FireCrack]

Was forced to confiscate the NTF Iceni and the Sathanas fleet becasue they couldnt pay.

[Ransom]

Mainly because Bosch had turned all his money into overfed bartenders, as was the custom. But before anyone could react, a large...

[aldo_14]

helium baloon sidled up alongside, offering reduced price soiled goods and fish-based products.

[TrashMan]

The fish products lured Emperor Konshu II, as he simply loved fish. Seeing Bosch and Whirgly..Min...whatever, he gave them a weird look and proceeded to stuff himself full. After 3 hours or munching he turned and said:...

[Ransom]

"I LOVE SURPLUS!" and exploded. As it turned out, he was really a...