Everything you need to know in life you can learn from South Park...
Thanks to them I learn that the Jews killed Jesus, and that Mel Gibson is #%$ing INSANE!

Just kidding!
Didn't Chris Rock say Jesus was black (Which I can totally believe as Jesus came from South Central Galilee)(SP?) The Romans were lucky we has into that peace love thing, otherwise he would have put a cap in their azz...
As for these evangeliests (cause they sure as hell are NOT missionaries) if any of them are female, young and hot I would gladly teach them the "Missionary Position" (there is that better Aldo?)
U know... When I first discovered the joys of self pleasure, I was in bible school and instead of making shadow boxes to scripture I was thinking about bending sister Sarah over the alter and make her pray like that. I even had a good line, if a priest came up and asked , "what in the name of God are you doing?!?" I would say, "Missionary work father, praise be to GOD!"

(Not your typical youngster was I?)...
Regardless from that point on I got a thing for young nuns... (OOO Sally Fields was sooo hot then)...