What we need for that would be:
A), a method of overriding the coded top speeds and acceleration/deceleration factors during jump-in/out as part of a ship's table entry,
B), a method of, again by entry in ships table entry, to indicate that a vessel should have no warp effect. Now, you might say that that can be done already with FRED, but the current option will merely cause the object to vanish without the acceleration and deceleration associated with warpout/warpin. We want the ship to go through the motions of warpin/warpout, just without the effect.
Then, say you want fighters (including player) to jump out with a destroyer. As the destroyer approaches its jumpout position, use the stay-near-ship sexp to order the other fighters to formup on the destroyer. By the time the destroyer is in jump position, the fighters should be alongside it. When the player is within a certain distance of the destroyer and is facing towards a certain waypoint that the destroyer is facing (if that can't be done yet, it would help
if it were), order all fighters and the destroyer to jump out, and use the force-jump sexp to ensure that the player jumps out. I key the jump time off the player's proximity to the destroyer, the player's orientation to the waypoint, and to the destroyer having completed moving into position. You could key it off all included wings being in proximity to the destroyer, including the player, but if one entire wing is eliminated, the event wouldn't fire. So by the time the destroyer is in its jump position, all the remaining fighters should be in proximity, which only leaves the player. If you're already there when the time comes, and you're oriented properly, jump-time!