Author Topic: Blonde Jokes!  (Read 2104 times)

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Offline KappaWing

  • Lost in the nebula
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EDIT: Thank you for coming this far. Moral of this story; dont listen to Aldo and you'll get rewarded... With blonde jokes!

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
        
- she called me to get my phone number.
        
- she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
"concentrate."
        
- she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
        
- she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
        
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
        
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
        
- she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
        
- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
        
- she tried to drown a fish.
        
- she thought a quarterback was a refund.
        
- she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
        
- if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
        
- they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
        
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
        
- she tripped over a cordless phone.
        
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
        
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"...she put Sagittarius."
        
- she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
        
- it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
        
- if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
        
- she studied for a blood test.
        
- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
        
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
        
- she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
        
- she sold the car for gas money.
        
- when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16
friends.
        
- when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
        
- she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
        
- when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
        
- when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left"
she turned around and went home.

Post your own unique blonde jokes! Have fun! :lol:
« Last Edit: March 13, 2005, 02:30:26 pm by 2470 »
"Your efforts to interdict me have failed, papacy. Pentagon, engage propaganda drive."
"Now, Protestant scum, you will see the power of this fully armed and operational Papal Station!"

 

Offline aldo_14

  • Gunnery Control
  • 213
Just stop here.  Don't look down.

That's it, up to the back button..... on you go, don't let me stop you.

You'll thank me for it, you really will.

 

Offline RedgeTester

  • Banned
  • 21
Paris Hilton is blonde.
"Redge ain't the spy...." ---- Columbo
Got proxy?

 

Offline KappaWing

  • Lost in the nebula
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  • 1000101
ARGH! Thrice-be-damned the blasted time warp! :hopping:
"Your efforts to interdict me have failed, papacy. Pentagon, engage propaganda drive."
"Now, Protestant scum, you will see the power of this fully armed and operational Papal Station!"

 

Offline WMCoolmon

  • Purveyor of space crack
  • 213
:lol: at aldo's post.

I've heard most of the blonde jokes already. :p
-C

 

Offline Grey Wolf

I'd have to side with aldo here. Nothing very good there.
You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw

 

Offline Ford Prefect

  • 8D
  • 26
  • Intelligent Dasein
What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

Not everyone's been in a 747! OMG LOL!!!!1111one11oneshiftone
"Mais est-ce qu'il ne vient jamais à l'idée de ces gens-là que je peux être 'artificiel' par nature?"  --Maurice Ravel

 

Offline Grey Wolf

What's the difference between this thread and a steaming pile of feces? Nothing, it was a trick question.
You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw

 
LOL you  rock  solid Kappa!!
 you made  laugh  my ass off
i like this one especially :
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

anyways thanks for the the good laugh i appreciate it very much

  

Offline KappaWing

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Quote
Originally posted by Saturn2004
LOL you  rock  solid Kappa!!
 you made  laugh  my ass off
i like this one especially :
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

anyways thanks for the the good laugh i appreciate it very much


You're very welcome, Saturn! At least someone likes my jokes! :D

Here's a long one:

A Blonde is at a soda machine. She puts a dollar in and presses the button and a soda comes out. She continues doing it for about 20 minutes when a man comes up and waits behind her. After about 5 minutes of the routine the man asks her if he could just buy a coke and then she can continue with whatever she's doing. She replies, "No way, im on a winning streak!" :lol:
"Your efforts to interdict me have failed, papacy. Pentagon, engage propaganda drive."
"Now, Protestant scum, you will see the power of this fully armed and operational Papal Station!"

 

Offline Falcon

  • 29
Stupid.
Posts.
Annoy.
Me.

That is all........ :blah:

 

Offline KappaWing

  • Lost in the nebula
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  • 1000101
Dude, you have no sense of humor.

And wtf is this?
Quote

Last edited by Falcon on 99-99-9999 at 9:99 PM
"Your efforts to interdict me have failed, papacy. Pentagon, engage propaganda drive."
"Now, Protestant scum, you will see the power of this fully armed and operational Papal Station!"

 

Offline Kamikaze

  • A Complacent Wind
  • 29
    • http://www.nodewar.com
Quote
Originally posted by KappaWing
Dude, you have no sense of humor.

And wtf is this?
 


Probably copying my sig... :blah:

Edit: This is a totally random edit to test the word filter. If you've found this post for some strange reason, then congrats. You can now break the filter. Woohoo. Kudos to kode. F­uck.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2005, 01:44:22 am by 179 »
Science alone of all the subjects contains within itself the lesson of the danger of belief in the infallibility of the greatest teachers in the preceding generation . . .Learn from science that you must doubt the experts. As a matter of fact, I can also define science another way: Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts. - Richard Feynman

 

Offline KappaWing

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Oh i see, those are sigs. :doh:

For a minute I thought it was a side effect of the time-warp predicament.
"Your efforts to interdict me have failed, papacy. Pentagon, engage propaganda drive."
"Now, Protestant scum, you will see the power of this fully armed and operational Papal Station!"

 

Offline Falcon

  • 29
Quote
Originally posted by Kamikaze


Probably copying my sig... :blah:


Ehhhh your not the one I copied it from........ :nervous:

 

Offline Anaz

  • 210
I knew a blonde who was so stupid he/she/it thought....

....That plastic surgery was for barbies!

bu-dun-tish!
Arrr. I'm a pirate.

AotD, DatDB, TVWP, LM. Ph34r.

You WILL go to warpstorm...

 

Offline Falcon

  • 29
Bah okay heres mine:

9 Blondes and a Brunette were hanging of a rope from a helicopter which was in air. Because the weight on the rope was to much one of them was going to have to jump off. The Brunette was eventually picked and was allowed to say a few words before she jumped. The Brunette gave this speech that she has allways given stuff up for people, bla bla bla. After she finished her speech the Blondes started clapping.........

 
weird  stuff   falcon!!

 

Offline KappaWing

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  • 1000101
Quote

9 Blondes and a Brunette were hanging of a rope from a helicopter which was in air. Because the weight on the rope was to much one of them was going to have to jump off. The Brunette was eventually picked and was allowed to say a few words before she jumped. The Brunette gave this speech that she has allways given stuff up for people, bla bla bla. After she finished her speech the Blondes started clapping.........


Hah hah! I get it! :lol:
Spoiler:

When the blondes let go of the rope to start clapping they fell into the water. :D


Here's another;
A brunette and a blond are taking a roadtrip and get stranded in the middle of the desert. they decide that it would be easier to take only one essential item each. the brunette picks up a bag containing some food, and bottles of water. she turns around to see the blond ripping off the car door. "what the hell are you bringing that for?" the blond replies "If it gets too hot, we could roll down the window".
"Your efforts to interdict me have failed, papacy. Pentagon, engage propaganda drive."
"Now, Protestant scum, you will see the power of this fully armed and operational Papal Station!"

 
seriously kappa  have you ever   thought of being  comign a  stand up comedian?
it mightbe a   good position for you
just  a sugggestion....