ROFL.
"Vin Diesel bleeds chocoloate milk."
"Vin Diesel lives his life in bullet-time".
"Vin Diesel once defeated Jesus, the prophet Mohammed and L Ron Hubbard in an arm wrestling match to decide who was the true savoir of mankind."
" Upon seeing Vin Diesel's groin, one is transported to 16th century Prussia."
" Vin Diesel once stared so hard at an orphan, the child melted into a puddle of marmalade."
" Being murdered by Vin Diesel is the only way to enter Valhalla."
" Vin Diesel eats gunpowder and ****s bullets."
" Peanuts are allergic to Vin Diesel."
"Vin Diesel received his name when his mother asked the German Dr. Strangelove what substance she should immerse her son in to give him the might of Achilles."
"Every single one of Vin Diesel's internal organs is tattooed with a map to a different lost civilizations greatest treasure. It cannot be confirmed whether or not Vin Diesel did the tattooing himself."
" Kicking him in his right kneecap renders him unstable for approximately 4 minutes and 23 seconds."
"Vin Diesel found the real-life Stargate. He travels through it from time to time just to show the other races out there who's boss."
" Vin Diesel only feeds once every thousand years, exclusively on the flesh of virgins from the Isle of Crete"
"While in the Arabian Desert, Vin Diesel came upon a Genie. When he heard that he was only allowed three wishes, Vin Diesel kicked the Genie in the groin and swallowed the lamp."
"Shortly after the Big Bang had occurred, Diesel sought out Ingvar Kamprad (the mastermind behind IKEA) and forged the great demons primitive models. Kamprad was infuriated and swore to fashion a model so fiendish in design that not even Vin himself would be able to assemble it. Shortly thereafter a cardboard box was delivered to Diesel's residence (which lay buried deep inside the sun itself). Smiling to himself, Diesel accepted the challenge, but was shocked to find that the model consisted only of a mountain of ore, an enormous quantity of wood, and a small plastic flap. A small note on the box let our protagonist know that the instructions came written in Braille, and were to be found on the inside of Gods bladder. Our hero went to work, and six days later he was finished. He stared in awe, as he realized that he had actually created the Pangaea. Blinded by anger, Kamprad attacked Diesel. The two demigods fought for an eternity. Finally, Diesel emerged victorious after ripping Greenland out of the Pangaea and hurling it at Kamprad. After this he made love to himself, spawning several overlords, and in the long run, created life as we know it."
" The Legend of Zelda is based on the adventures of Vin Diesel battling Adolph Hitler and the Nazis in World War 2."
