Author Topic: Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!  (Read 4834 times)

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
A word of caution for those who do not wish to know anything about this film, turn back now.

I finally saw this movie after school yesterday, and I really don't know what to say. I'd first like to say that I am a big Star Wars fan, I loved the originals and grew up playing games from X-Wing, Tie Fighter and Rogue Squadron, among many others. Episodes 1 and 2 had been fairly dissappointing, they weren't great movies, they might even have been good moviesm but certainly not bad movies. After seeing several trailers and waiting in anticipation, I thought George had made a turn around and actually made a good movie to this otherwise mediocre trilogy. Damn was I wrong. Not only was this movie bad, but it was, for lack of a better word, retarded. On top of abbismal acting, none of the characters had any depth to them, and didn't behave anything like their formal selves, especially the droids, who had voice changes and were given "personalities". Oh yeah, R2-D2 kills 2 SBDs, at once, wtf? The story had some potential, Anakins reasons for turning to the darkside are  legitimate but the horrible execution of the story ruins it. On top of that was rushed story, everything happened too fast.  The acting, as I said before was horrible, the biggest offenders being Anakin, Palpatine and, surprisingly and to my horror, YODA! Hayden Christenson as Anakin started the movie with quite a good job of acting and line delivery, but it went downhill, very, very fast and near the end he sounded like a complete idiot, with lines like "Love can't save you Padme but my new powers will" or something along those line. Yoda, says everything in his "backwards talk", I mean everything and some of his phrases sound utterly retarded.Ian McDarmound as Palpatine had flucuation is his voice between words and wasn't even subtle at twisting Anakin to the dark side, he may as well have had a sign on his chest reading "I am a Sith Lord". Which brings me to another point, there are no sith! I was expecting some sort of group of lightsaber weilding sith, nope, not one, except Dooku, who loses both hands before being decapitated, the Jedi are slaughtered by the Clone Troopers, not Sith. Every 'important' character had at least one hand cut off, if they died, I think some friends and I counted about 6 or 7 de-handings throughout the movie. Kashyyyk was another dissapointment, there was no big battle, there were 3 explosions, a wookie and 2 decapitations. The most unfortunate part of the movie is however, that fact that we, the viewer gain nothing from it. Sure you've seen the original trilogy and no what happens, but you should learn something new after watching the backstory, and  know the fact that Darth Vader is played by a whining prick who can't act doesn't count.  The only really cool part about this movie, aside from the lightsaber battles, which were well done, was General Greivous, but he dies and the movie quickly goes to hell after that.


I am really dissapointed in this movie, and it is very unfortunate that this trilogy had to end this way.

MicroPsycho
Derek Smart is his own oxymoron.

  

Offline Ace

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Ermm... it's mentioned in Episode I that there is only a Sith master and apprentice.

If they had an army of lightsaber wielding Sith, that'd be in violation of the plot...
Ace
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-Alfred Hitchcock

 

Offline Deepblue

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Please explain JK:JA and KOTOR2 then...

 

Offline neo_hermes

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Plot.
Hell has no fury like an0n...
killing threads is...well, what i do best.

 

Offline Ace

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Jedi Knight- Badguys needed. They're also technically "Dark Jedi" not Sith.

KOTOR- The Sith didn't come up with the rule-of-two yet.
Ace
Self-plagiarism is style.
-Alfred Hitchcock

 
Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
The no sith part is only one of many dissapointments in the film
Derek Smart is his own oxymoron.

 

Offline pyro-manic

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Let's be honest here - did you really expect anything more than a mediocre CG-fest action movie? Lucas is a crap director and an even worse writer. That much is obvious even from Episode IV (fans may crucify me for this, but it's what I think), let alone these new ones.

I probably won't even bother seeing it, to be honest - I watched Episode II a few weeks back, and I want the two hours of my life back...
Any fool can pull a trigger...

 

Offline Solatar

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
I saw General Grevious (however you spell it) and about accused them of stealing material from Power Rangers.

I didn't think it was all THAT bad though.

 
Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Grevious was the best part, its only after he is killed that the movie goes horribly, horribly bad. If anything you have to admit that his stance with 4 lightsabers is cool.
Derek Smart is his own oxymoron.

 

Offline Solatar

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
I think he was a cool character, and the lightsaber fight wasn't too bad.

I just thought he was waaay over CGI.

 

Offline TrashMan

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
4 lightsabers vs. 1...

Obi-Wan shouldn't stand a chance.

Think about it, if G attacks with 4 sabers at one for different directions - you CAN'T block that with 1 saber...you just can't..
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

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Offline Knight Templar

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Quote
Originally posted by Deepblue
Please explain JK:JA and KOTOR2 then...


Easy. They weren't sith. Not true Sith in the sense of historical Star Wars. All of the "Dark Jedi" Baddies in KOTOR and JK, and all those games have always been lackeys or ammateurs.

For example, KOTOR had Revan, and Malak. They were the Sith Lords. The Dark Lords of the Sith. The traditional "Sith" duo we're used to, a la the Emperor and Vader. Now, they had the Sith Empire, which is more or less just a name, like the Galactic Empire. Thus, for short, all the bad guys were just called Sith.

I know they also had Jedi weilding lackeys. These would be mini-apprentice types. Revan and Malak, and later Malak and Bandon, were the only true "Dark Lords of the Sith" and thus the traditional "Sith", while all the other nameless evil lightsaber toting baddies were "Sith" wannabes... Dark Lords in training, although the only way they could be a true "Sith Lord" or what have you, is if one of the Lords trained them in the "true" nature of the dark side. A la Vader and the Emperor.

In RotS, it's taken that the Jedi have had dynasty over the galaxy for at least 4,000 years. The Revenge comes with Anakin, becomming a member of the Sith himself, slaying all the Jedi.

Anakin brings balance (aka peace) back the force by "killing" Vader and the Emperor, thus destroying the Sith, in the original canon Star Wars, forever.
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Offline NeoHunter

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Sometimes, I wonder what "balance" there is if you killed all the Jedi, became the Dark Lord of the Sith for about 20 years then killing the Emperor FINALLY and leaving your son, Luke, to be the only Jedi left after that.

 

Offline Corsair

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Misleading, the propechy is.
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.

 
Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Hand count by phatose:

Dooku:  2 hands lost
Grievous:  4 hands lost
Windu:  1 hand lost

Conclusion:  Jedi REALLY need to create lightsaber resistant wristbands.


Plothole:  Padme Dies immediately after giving birth.  Leia claims to have known her mother for a brief time in ANH.

Conclusion:  Lucas really should've hired some star wars nerds as fact checkers.

 

Offline WMCoolmon

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
The Grievous fight should've gone like this -

Grievous brings out his four lightsabers, starts slicing up clone troopers as they make their bust. Then Obi-wan jumps down from above and ignites his lightsaber. Grievous turns, hunkers down and starts doing the spinning thing with his lightsaber.

Obi-wan lowers his lightsaber and force-pushes Grievous off the cliff.
-C

 

Offline Bobboau

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Grievous from the cartoon was a ****ing badass, he was badass on par with Mace the MCLMF Windu, I don't think that would have done the job, Grievous kills Jedi for shits'n-gigles. but then again, it sounds like he went out like a wuss in the movie anyway.
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Offline Knight Templar

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
He got 0wned like no tomorrow. It was sad. He rides around on a wheel and then gets shot in the heart. WTF.
Copyright ©1976, 2003, KT Enterprises. All rights reserved

"I don't want to get laid right now. I want to get drunk."- Mars

Too Long, Didn't Read

 

Offline Bobboau

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
...:doubt:

that makes me cry :(
Bobboau, bringing you products that work... in theory
learn to use PCS
creator of the ProXimus Procedural Texture and Effect Generator
My latest build of PCS2, get it while it's hot!
PCS 2.0.3


DEUTERONOMY 22:11
Thou shalt not wear a garment of diverse sorts, [as] of woollen and linen together

 

Offline Sigma957

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Micro's Episode 3 Review !!Spoiler Warning!!
Thats the trouble having organics,so vunerable.
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