[aldo_14]

I think there's a case for saying that the procreational instinct feeds a 'parental' instinct to form relationships.  Or, like the Beatles said, all you need is love.

Dah-da-da-dah.

[Kosh]

Or, like the Beatles said, all you need is love.

I am starting to wonder if I am even capable of feeling love anymore........

[NGTM-1R]

You are. Unless of course your biochemistry is completely ****ed as the result of cancer, having glands removed, or taking some whacked-out medications. Cynicism, I have discovered, just isn't an effective defense.

Icespeed is by my experience right, as well. I've always been friends first, although this probably has the unpleasant side-effect of increasing the stab-in-the-guts feeling when it blows up...

Seriously, though. For no reason I or anyone who knows me can determine, my relationships never die quietly...they always self-destruct in a most spectacular manner. And I'm getting sick of it.

[Bobboau]

you know I'd much have the defined spectacular "I never want to see you again" explosive 'this is the end' ending than the quiet indecisive "haven't heard from her in five years, I guess she wasn't interested after all" non-ending, that defines most of my attempts.

[Nuclear1]

Originally posted by icespeed
advice for you guys from personal experience: don't look for girls, make friends. it's heaps better when you start going out with someone you've been friends with for yonks on end because no one's being fake and trying to impress anyone. and obviously if nothing happens, you've still made heaps of good friends.

Am I the only person in this whole thread that thinks this works? Actually, I know it works; it's how I got my current girlfriend.

Originally posted by EtherShock
The moral of the story: Yes, you can be friends.

In reply to your story above, I agree. Those kinds of infatuations usually don't work (at least they didn't for me); I went through a similar situation as you, though the girl in question lived only a short distance away. She knew who I was, and we went off on something similar to you. It didn't work out, but we're good friends.

Originally posted by aldo_14
Or, like the Beatles said, all you need is love.

John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad. [/random sci-fi movie quote]

[Nico]

Rah... I know that one! Just can't remember where it's from, damn... Ah, yeah! ID4.

[Nuclear1]

Originally posted by Nico
Rah... I know that one! Just can't remember where it's from, damn... Ah, yeah! ID4.

*hands Venico a cookie*

Didn't think anyone would get that for a while.

[Nico]

You underestimate my geekyness

[Bobboau]

actualy, I thought you were being sarcastic about it being from a random scifi it was so recognisable.

[Nuke]

well i ran into her at work today. she hung out with me on her break. so i guess were still dating. so in about 40 minutes im gonna catch a bus out the her place and driop her flowers of, most likely in person. if i see her il ask her if she wants to go see war of the worlds tonight. hopefully it will work.

[Martinus]

Originally posted by nuclear1


Am I the only person in this whole thread that thinks this works? Actually, I know it works; it's how I got my current girlfriend.

[color=66ff00]It's not a case of it not working, it's relying solely on that mentality that matters.

What I'm trying to say is: would you like to hang out with someone who's miserable all the time? What happens when you get into a relationship and find out that the whole smiley happy vibe you get off the girl is a facade?

In order to find happiness with someone else you first have to realise that it's you that needs to be happy, you have to believe that you are as worthwhile as anyone else, only then will you be able to enter a relationship free of the fear of rejection or a needy mentality.

If you know you're worthwhile then the girl hasn't brushed you off; she's missed out on a great relationship.
[/color]

[Kosh]

That theory sounds good, but does it work?

[NGTM-1R]

Yes, in my experience.

What happens later is not, strictly speaking, a measure of whether it worked or not. It's a successful method for finding people.

[WMCoolmon]

Originally posted by Maeglamor

[color=66ff00]If you know you're worthwhile then the girl hasn't brushed you off; she's missed out on a great relationship.
[/color]

I wish that worked for me.

Actually, I guess I wish I knew whether so many girls are just that shallow and prone to snap interpretations of people followed by closedmindedness, or if I actually am as naive and worthless as many have expressed.

Should I have called more girls' lies, and prove them wrong, instead of letting them go ahead and believe whatever they wanted while I moved on? If someone else, in the future, talks to them and sees me in the same light as they do, should I ignore that possibility and decide that anyone who does that isn't worth my time? Or should I work to make sure that I contradict whatever bad things that first person might have had to say?

Really all this romance stuff doesn't work so well if you think about it, at least not where I'm standing. Of course, it doesn't work if you don't think about it, either.

[Grug]

LMAO.
From romance to dating advice to flower keeping to romance, then back to advice again.

Okay:
1. Female friends are cool. Generally speaking it attracts more situations to meet other girls anyway.
2. Being nervous with girls is only if you have some type of motive or have some type of phobia (o.O). If you don't care and just wanna hang out (as you would with your mates) it usually dulls any nerves you might have.
3. Don't watch soapy shows. They are crap anyway, and are bad for your mental health.
4. Don't think so much about this crap, its also bad for your mental health. Try and be spontaneous within reason. Just think and act like your not so desperate or 'care'.
5. Girls are just people too, they suffer from similar if not worse anxiety's and thoughts.
6. Humour is your friend. If you have a fked up humour (like me ) try and keep it light at first.

It's not the end of the world if a chick says 'no thanks'. What's the worst that could happen?
Spits in your face and laughs maniacly?
At least you know now that she was a b!tch anyway, and saved yourself $$$, time and effort.

Suitable slogans: Keep it real, Just do it, and Where would you like to go today?

[Fragrag]

Originally posted by Grug

1. Female friends are cool. Generally speaking it attracts more situations to meet other girls anyway.

True dat. My ex managed to give me 3 or 4 emails of her friends, during and after our relationship.It still boggles my minds

Originally posted by Grug
Where would you like to go today? [/B]

I think I have problems, I automatically added 'dirtbag' behind it

[Hippo]

*calls RvB reference*

[Nuke]

why is it i get this nagging feeling that i ****ed up? i still havent heard from her. ah hell.

[Black Wolf]

Originally posted by Nuke
why is it i get this nagging feeling that i ****ed up? i still havent heard from her. ah hell.

Possibly because you ****ed up. Alternately, he cheese.

[IceFire]

Originally posted by Nico


But that's bull
You know; I live in some sort of real life soap opera, my friends (both guys and girls, mind you) seem on an eternal quest to get a G/Bfriend. And I have many friends, both genders, so I've seen quite a lot of combination. Well going out with someone after being friend for long ends up bad one time out of two. But usually, granted, you get the good old "nah, we've been friend for so long, I don't want to break that" bull.
The whole thing being the reason why I'm not hunting after girls, after seeing so many pathetic failures, and that makes me the only guy ion the whole goddamn region (I kid you not ~~) who's still friend with about everybody (the ones I'm not friend with, has nothing to do with someone going out with someone else or not).

Nico, I think we were separated at birth (and you were flown over the Atlantic ).

I'm the "friends with everyone, hears about everyone elses trials and tribulations, and live in a soap opera".  On the other hand, I just feel like the underused character that the writers throw in for numbers sake.

Lets see...I've tried pretty much everything.  Tons of friends who are of the female variety, lots of friends period (I had a BBQ last weekend that filled my back deck), I'm active, I go out and meet people, I hang out at coffee shops with friends, pubs (sometimes), play sports, volunteer...you know...pretty much ALL of the activities that those dating advice people tell you to do...and I do these things for the purposes of doing them and not for finding girls so its not a half hearted/half assed thing.  But nonetheless, for almost 6 years I've been single.  Basically I haven't truly dated since high school.  

Would be nice to be seeing someone...I don't know if its about happieness or what it is that drives me...maybe just instinct.  I'm usually pretty happy and jovial although I've been more moody as of late (but thats probably utter frusteration in job hunting).