[Thrilla]

hmm...some of my friends have started marriage counseling, and my fiance wants to go was well.  Which kinda sucks, but I guess I'll let her win this one.  I was wondering what other people thought about marriages with different faiths ie. a jewish person with a christian, a muslim with an athiest, a Hindu with a Spagetti Monster, etc.  The problem has come up with one of friends.  What do you guys think about marriages with to different beliefs?
(This is not to start a religous debate.  It is mainly just feedback b/c I was curious.)

http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/CouplesandMarriage/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=30472>1=6967

[Flipside]

Hmmmmmmmmm.... I was watching a comedian the other night who was talking about Protestant/Catholic marriages in Northern Ireland, I just remember one line...

'When you say different versions of the Lord's Prayer, that's not a mixed marriage. When one half of the congregation is running up and down the isle holding a dragon and the other half is jumping up and down with spears in their hands, that's a mixed marriage!'

To my mind if you start allowing a relationship to go anywhere beyond the two people involved, whether it is their religion, their family, even their friends, then you are on a rocky road and need to do something about it.

[Unknown Target]

I personally think it's not bad, it's even a good thing. It promotes understanding between differing religions and forms bonds between the two, bridging the gaps. That and who you love shouldn't be decided by anything but by what you feel. I think it's a very good thing, so long as both sides consent not to oppress each other's beliefs

[Bobboau]

you need to make damn sure it isn't going to be a problem in the early stages, ie way before you get married.

[karajorma]

My dad's a muslim and my mum is a christian. They basically taught me a bit about both faiths and let me choose. They were probably pissed that I grew up to be an atheist.

The biggest bone of contention in this sort of situation if you've actually gotten as far as being engaged is likely to be what to do if you ever have kids. That really needs to be sorted out before you get married cause if one of you is a hindu and one of you is a christian you're going to have all kinds of debates about the whole one true god thing.

[Sapphire]

Excellent

[aldo_14]

I always thought it was simple; let the kids make up their own mind when they're old enough.

[karajorma]

Problem is that there are certain things you can't ignore. In the US or Europe it's pretty hard for a kid not to hear a lot about christmas. In fact it's damned near impossible to ignore it.

Even though my parents leaned quite far towards your line of thinking Aldo I found that when I was reaching the age where I could choose I was leaning much further towards christianity than islam simply because I knew a lot more about it.

On top of that what do you do if an older brother or sister does choose and starts celebrating christmas and easter with one parent. You seriously risk alienating the other child.

[aldo_14]

Well, it's REs' job to inform us on religions anyways, I don't think it's fair to ask someone to worship at an age when they're not only unable to make the choice, but to understand what that religion actually entails.  Unfortunately there is a lot of sectrianism and bigotry nowadays, not so much because of immigration or recent political events, but because religious education doesn't do a very good job at fostering understanding IMO.

 I spent the first...um, few (I have no idea how many) years of my childhood going to church (I forget what the thing is called actually, where you send kids to like a seperate bit whilst the adults listen to the usual scripture mumbo jumbo), and when I was given a choice to, I stopped.  But at that point religion is, IMO either indoctrination or the opposite; either you take it in, follow it without questioning or you bore your tits off and never consider it.

 So I don't think it's the best option from any viewpoint to send kids to church or a mosque, etc.

[kode]

well, christmas and easter and so on is pretty secularistic anyway, at least here in sweden. heck, we still practice pagan rituals (midsummer) without thinking about the "religious" aspects of celebrating a prosperity ritual...

[Sapphire]

Originally posted by aldo_14
(I forget what the thing is called actually, where you send kids to like a seperate bit whilst the adults listen to the usual scripture mumbo jumbo), ....follow it without questioning or you bore your tits off ...

[Janos]

they should only marry if they can maximize the number of religious holidays in their family

[mikhael]

My wife is Roman Catholic and I'm... um... something. We disagree on lots of stuff, including things like baptism, christening, etc. She wants to raise our children with the Catechism and I'm cool with that. But I'm going to be rounding out the education with Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shinto, Discworld Gods and Small Gods, Tao, pre-christian European mythology, African, American Indian and Australian Aboriginal beliefs, South American beliefs, etc.

They'll likely end up agnostic-ish with some leanings toward the Religions of the Book, like I did.

[Black Wolf]

Originally posted by karajorma
cause if one of you is a hindu and one of you is a christian you're going to have all kinds of debates about the whole one true god thing.

And eating at HJs.