[karajorma]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/02/17/fish_attack/

Nurse attacks colleague with frozen fish

A 55-year-old Tunbridge Wells nurse was today hauled before the Nursing and Midwifery Council's professional conduct committee in London for allegedly slapping a colleague with a frozen trout, the BBC reports.

The fish-assisted assault - after which the acccused reportedly said "give us a kiss" while moving the fish's mouth - was one of four charges of professional misconduct levelled at Patricia Jennings

 You can almost see the sketch now, can't you?

She was also accused of inappropriate conduct, viz: "Reaching inside their [colleagues'] uniforms, asking questions about their private lives, and putting sweet wrappers down a nurse's top.

All the incidents took place during 2003 at the Kent and Sussex Hospital in Tunbridge Wells.

Now, we at El Reg normally wouldn't give this story shelf space, since frozen fish nurse attack stories are ten a penny, but the penultimate paragraph of the Beeb's report has a delicious, slightly surreal flavour:

    Jamie Foster, for the Nursing and Midwifery Council, said Ms Jennings also lied about her training record, misled staff about the availability of beds on Ward 8, and bound a clerk's head and mouth with bandages while he was on the phone.

Mrs Jennings was neither present nor represented at the proceedings. She was, a spokeswoman for the Nursing and Midwifery Council has confirmed by email, struck off the nursing register earlier today.

Must be something in the air cause from the same day and the same general area.

Man menaces cops with didgeridoo

A man was today sentenced to 180 hours' community service for threatening police with a didgeridoo after shouting: "Come on then. I'll have you," in the traditional British style.

According to UK tabloid the Sun, officers were called to the scene of an alleged assault in Seaford, East Sussex, last June. Bricklayer Ryan Jones, 23, had attacked a friend who he believed had been up to no good with a previous girlfriend.

When the cops showed up they discovered Jones outside the house covered in blood. He immediately issued his shouted threat, rushed into the property and emerged brandishing his enormous Antipodean weapon like a “wild animal that had been caged, pacing around while watching the officers with his weapon raised in anticipation of striking out", as one copper later put it.

Jones was eventually subdued by a combination of pepper spray and wrestling to the ground. He required further pepper spray treatment at the police station.

Upon leaving the court today, Jones said: "I had only just started to learn to play the didgeridoo too."

[Taristin]

Nice!

[kode]

ALL:
Schlip! Schlap!
MAYOR:
Schlip-a-schlap-a vay
ALL:
Schlip! Schlap!
MAYOR:
Schlap away all day
ALL:
Schlip! Schlap!
MAYOR:
You simply can't go wrong
Vith traditional fish-schlapping song

I wonder if it's possible to see the musical somehow without getting to broadway.

[Corsair]

To get along on Broadway,
To sing a song on Broadway,
To hit the top on Broadway and not lose,
I tell you, Arthur king,
There is one essential thing...
There simply must be, simply must be Jews.


You're clearly missing something, kode.

[Charismatic]

"What? Your arms off!" "No it isnt.""Its only a flesh wound."

[Stealth]

am i the only one to find monty python more annoying than amusing?

crazy british humor.

[Scuddie]

Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.

[Nix]

Gumby sketches FTW
"i'mmm gooiing tooo ooperraate"

[Shade]

I agree, they're not funny. They're hilarious

[Roanoke]

Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.

are you sure about that ? And how can you have too much Python ?

"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!"

[Charismatic]

Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.

are you sure about that ? And how can you have too much Python ?

"He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!"

The answer: You can't!

[vyper]

Considering brits think Bo Selecta is funny, it comes as no surprise that they think Monty Python is funny.

Equate those two things again and I'll shove a bean pole up yer arse.

[Flipside]

Bo Selecta? Who's he?

And LOL at the articles

[Charismatic]

I could quote teh whole 'quest for the holy grail' movie offhand its so good..

[WeatherOp]

*hides all the holy hand grenades.

[aldo_14]

Ach, cheer up!

[Nuclear1]

<iMike> monty python would be funny if nerds hadnt invented an entire subculture devoted to quoting it.

[Ford Prefect]

Monty Python was damn funny, but Blackadder was the greatest.

[Nix]

After watching House, and not knowing who Hugh Laurie was, then watching Blackadder, made it so much more funny than what it already is.  That's an awesome series, and seeing Hugh act like such a goof is great

[bfobar]

Over here I have to pay good money to get a girl to dress up as a nurse and beat me with a trout. I gotta move to Britain.