http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_warIf I may, the difference between the holocaust as defined as the genocidal campaign against the jews and other groups, and the firebombings of both Coventry by the Germans and Dresden and Tokyo by the allies, is that the holocaust was a cleansing campaign internally that would have been less useful to the German war effort than say, making all those killed instead work as slave labor making resources for the war effort. I know some were used as slaves, but the majority were killed. Firebombings are a part of a total war campaign in which a country severs supply lines of the opposing country's army by hitting their source.
I also want to just add that I do in no way morally support either, but when total war is declared, annilation of civilians is expected. The morality issues you bring up and we deal with today are a byproduct of propaganda campaigns waged by the governments to convince their populace that civilian annihilation is necessary. It is by no means morally correct by just about any basic definition of morality, but when a war becomes us-or-them total war, there is little opportunity to both survive and act with compassion towards the populace of one's foes.
Of course in cases like Dresden, asking whether it was necessary in hindsight is a very valid question. Most projections show that it wasn't. From this I think there are two important conclusions. Firstly, these decisions are made by people who do not know their outcomes so it is hard to condem them or acquit them of the destruction unless we know they could determine if the ends would justify the means and made a wantonly evil choice. Secondly I think it shows that these lessons are remembered in history through free press so that we all know what really happens when nations go to war.
As for the Iraqi connection you try to make, The U.S. has not declared total war in Iraq. Had they, the whole country would be glow-in-the-dark glass. Civilians die because war planners decide that risking losing civilians in an airstrike is less damaging to the mission they've been tasked to accomplish than sending foot soldiers in to die. It's not the morally correct choice since they know that they'll hitting civilians occasionally is inevitable, but it is better strategically for accomplishing their goals.
I recognis\ze and respect your right to question morality choices of our governments, but I'm curious Andreas. What is the purpose of your thread? Or more pointedly, where do you want this discussion to go?