"Sir, I have reason to believe you are responsible for a series of property thefts, and wish to arrest you under the 'Come Quietly or Stabby Stab Act of 1502....'"
"What!? Me, a thief!? Look at what i'm wearing! Look at it! It's a break green glowing set of armour! Armour! As in, clank clank clunk clank! I can't even sit down to take a crap in this getup, nevermind jump in through a window, sneak behind 7 guards, chib the master of the house and steal all their spoons. Not to mention I'm glowing! Glowing! I'm a walking bloody nightlight! I've been hired by people to stand in their kids rooms at night so they're not scared of the dark! Even the sword glows! I can't even walk about in my scants unless I dump my weapons - and there's 5 metric tonnes of them!
Honestly, I'm noisy, bright and glowing, and to cop it all I'm a bloody six foot cat! Even if I get past all the guards, what sort of fence is going to buy goods from someone who coughs up furballs and licks their own nuts in public! You're insane! Out of your mind! Who could i possibly have robbed?!"
"...sir, if I may continue, I am arresting you for the robbery of St. Aliouses home for the deaf, dumb, blind and chronically rich.'"
"****"