A brilliant suggestion with one major flaw. The player ejects but is still killed when his ship blows up regardless of whether he successfully ejects or not 
You're only killed because the text appearing in the screen says so. If that's not hardcoded i suppose it could be rathereasily altered to say that the player has safely ejected.
A more sophisticated system: Player can trigger a self-destruct sequence before being actually
killed; in this occasion there appears a piece of debris that looks like the cockpit. And on this occasion the text on the screen could say "Alpha One was safely ejected and now waits for rescue along with all the other trash from battle" or something along those lines.
If the player ship is actually destroyed, then the message says the old crap "Alpha 1 was killed by beam barrage from Sathanasi No. 1,7,8, 34 and 67" thingy.
AI pilots could randomly be able to eject upon actual destruction - we don't actually want randomly self-destructing wingmates, it feels thye are doing it already so increasing the effect would be unfeasable. Their discretion cannot be trusted...