Author Topic: Poor Setekh.....  (Read 48998 times)

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Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
Snipes: So, the AWACs remains silent, eh? Gunnery, Stand ready.

Gunnery guy: Aye, Aye, Sir.

Snipes: Bridge, set engines to 1/2.

Bridge: Roger that, Sir.

Gunnery Guy: Sir, F.O.G. at full!

Snipes: Acknowledged. Wait for my command.

Gunnery Guy: Yes, Sir!

[This message has been edited by Snipes (edited 06-11-2001).]
     
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United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
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"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Starwing

  • Guest
Computer: Sir, I have the Bastion on scanners. It's powering up its F.O.G. cannons. I could not determine any targeting lock yet.

It's getting full here. Power up reflector and dampener shields. Not that anything out here could hurt us, but better is better.
And activate all weapons, if anyone thinks he can come us strange, then I want to show him how strange we can get.

Computer: Roger. Reflector shields up...
Dampener shields up...
Particle beam cannons one to five on-line...
Dynamic pulse cannons one to five on-line...
six to ten on-line...
eleven to fivteen on-line...
sixteen to twenty on-line...
Torpedoe launchers one to six one-line...
Plasma fire cannons one to four... malfunction!

What?

Computer: They are on strike.

Damned organic components... Give them what they want, I want to see them on-line NOW!

Computer: Acknowledged. Transferring power to plasma fire cannons...
Plasma fire cannons one to four on-line...
Ship is ready for battle. Have a nice day!

To anyone out there: Please stay away. Don't make me hurt you.

[This message has been edited by Starwing (edited 06-11-2001).]

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
Snipes: Bridge, Emerge from subspace. Gunnery, prepare for target designation.

Bridge & Gunnery Guy: Affirmative.

 
     
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United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Starwing

  • Guest
Computer, status check for self-repair systems. Prepare quantum engines for full power. Prepare targetting systems.

Computer: Roger. Self-Repair systems nominal, main engines ready, targetting scanners ready.

 

Offline Jabu

  • One of our many cases
  • 29
Humans:inferior weapons systems:Progenitor victory ensured. Progenitor leaders:interested:Sol system:resources.

Progenitor fleet n route:Sol system:hyperspace. Arrival:10 hours. Fleet:2000 Progenitor warships:greatly superior:any human warship. Victory:assured.

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
*Emerges in Epsilon Pegasi*

Snipes: Bridge! Scan for IFF signatures!

Bridge: Negative, Sir. No IFF signatures detected!

Snipes: Good... Now we sit and listen... It's a good thing USI installed those AWAC parts in the dishes.
     
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United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline QXMX

  • 28
Surveys the battle on the viewscreen.

QXMX: Ensign, what's going on out there.

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship footstools: No Idea sir!

QXMX: Bring us closer Ensign, and signal our peaceful intentions.

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship footstools: Yes sir!  Oh sir, wait, I almost forgot.  Our Bosch Beer shipment is late.

QXMX: WHAT?!!!! Now I'm mad!  Ensign.  Arm our two powerful Subach HL-7 turrets and wade us into this battle.  We'll make them fear the mighty Argo.

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship footstools: Aye Captain!

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.....File not found....please enter password

Co-Creator, GroundZero
ICQ# 117983680

[This message has been edited by QXMX (edited 06-11-2001).]

 

Offline Raven2001

  • Machina Terra Reborn
  • 211
  • Im not the droid your looking for, move along
Ok! Now it's my turn!!  

*Emerging in Epsilon Pegasi*

Ensign 01: Sir, we're picking a massive ship dead ahead. It looks like it is wayting for something...

Raven: Make me a scan of that vessel and identify it.

Ensign 01: Roger that sir... sir, it's Snipe's vessel!

Raven: Oh! That guy again... helm, engage engines at full power torwards that vessel... I'm tired f telling him that I like to travel alone...

Helm: Roger that sir.

Raven: Gunnery control, bring all weapons on-line.

Gunner: Roger sir...
        Torp. launchers on-line
        Laser Batteries on-line
        Pulsar Cannons on-line

 

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"Out there there's no time to think... if you think, you're dead..." - Maverick
"Wissa got a grand army!" - Jar Jar
"...So we're talking about dropping the bottom first... very, very, very operand riding...!" - "Dik" Cox
Yeah, I know you were waiting for a very nice sig, in which I was quoting some very famous scientist or philosopher... guess what?!? I wont indulge you...

Why, you ask? What, do I look like a Shivan to you?!?


Raven is a god.

 

Starwing

  • Guest
Computer: Surveillance probe 47-D detected ships en route to the sol system. Configuration unknown, species unknown, energy signature is leading to the conclusion that weapon systems are activated.

Set course to Sol system. Initiate hyperjump and activate hyperdrive. Let's see who is there first...
Message to the Bastion, there are more urgent things to do, like saving the humanity...

Computer: Affirmative. We are on the way to Sol. Current speed: 1097*c Hyperspace Equivalent Speed.

Thanks. Message to unknown ships: Change your course at once. If you don't comply you will force me to open fire. I can assure you that this ship can repel any known weapon technology.
Message to closest Coop comm relay: Sol under attack, request assistance.

 

Offline Raven2001

  • Machina Terra Reborn
  • 211
  • Im not the droid your looking for, move along
Raven: Comms officer, establish a comm link to the Bastion.

Comm Officer: Right away... ko, sir yuo may speak.

*A transmission follows*

Raven: General Snipes, we meet again. Let me ask you one thing... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY TERRITORY?????
Yeah, I know you were waiting for a very nice sig, in which I was quoting some very famous scientist or philosopher... guess what?!? I wont indulge you...

Why, you ask? What, do I look like a Shivan to you?!?


Raven is a god.

 

Offline aldo_14

  • Gunnery Control
  • 213
Ok, you lot asked for it (brings in the GTCa Warlock)

Quote

Aldo; Ensign #232, aim the main cannons.
Ensign 232;  We don't have any.
Aldo; What?  Why the hell not.
Ensign; you forgot them.
Aldo: bugger.  Launch the fighters then. Say, 100 wings of Myrmidons.
Ensign: We can't.  You removed all the weapons in the armoury to make way for more beer.
Aldo;  Damn.  New tactic.  Launch all 100 fighters.  We'll cram their gunports with wreckage.
Ensign:  and then?
Aldo:  We'll ram them to death.
Ensign:  Riiiigggghhhhttttt.. (reaches over and smacks Aldo with large trout).

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
*Halo-screen engaged*
*A large screen appears out of nowhere*

Raven: "General Snipes, we meet again. Let me ask you one thing... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY TERRITORY?????"

Snipes: "It's been a while, Raven... I see you've been promoted, last time we met you were only a mere, Lt. Jr. Grade. And, do you forget, there are no Generals in Space Warfare, only Admirals..."

Snipes: "Audio Off"

*A pic of a microphone with a circle and bar through it appears in bottom corner of vid-link*

Snipes: "Gunnery, target Raven's vessel. Be prepared to launch a Houn Dog."

Gunnery Guy: "Aye Aye, Sir."
     
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United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline QXMX

  • 28
Hales all ship in the area:  
QXMX: We're out of beer.  Prepare to feel the wrath of the Subach.

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship
footstools, and newly promoted to foriegn affairs minister: Ummm...Sir.

QXMX: What is it ensign.

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship
footstools, and newly promoted to foriegn affairs minister: Um...We sent the Subachs to the shop, you know, the one used by Bob.  We got a bunch of fish headz back.

QXMX: Well, what do we have?

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship
footstools, and newly promoted to foriegn affairs minister: Ummmm....Shivan Super Lasers sir.

QXMX: Those pieces of crap.  That's it!!!

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship
footstools, and newly promoted to foriegn affairs minister: Um....yes sir.

QXMX: Well, open fire anyway.  Besides, they're no match for the mighty Argo.

Ensign in charge of weapons, helm, computer repair, engineering, mess hall, spacecrack, Speechwriting for Bob, Smily maintenance, Bosch Beer supply, Vacuuming, Quantum Physics, toilet cleaning, and all ship
footstools, and newly promoted to foriegn affairs minister: Sir, I may have a solution to our beer problem.  Our EBeer Radar has picked a boatload of Bosch Beer Kegs on aldo_14's ship.

QXMX: Excellent, take us in Ensign.

The Mighty Argo Moves to intercept toward the Bosch Beer Readings



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.....File not found....please enter password

Co-Creator, GroundZero
ICQ# 117983680

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
Snipes: Gunnery! Fire a Hound Dog at Raven's Vessel!

Gunnery Guy: Aye, Aye capieton!

Snipes: Don't call me Capieton!!!

Gunnery Guy: Sorry, Sir! Won't happen again, Sir!

Snipes: As you were... Let's see how Raven likes my little(and I use this term figuratively) present...  
     
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United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline The Claw

  • Run! Chickens Incoming!
  • 27
#looks at his title and screams like Homer from the Simpsons. Starts running around in circles ripping out his hair muttering "The Chickens! The Chickens! The Chickens!"#

Sensor operator, GTC Magellan: Sir, we are picking up anomylous readings.

Captain: Identify

Sensor operator: It appears to be a giant chicken sir.
#The CJ Death Chicken warps in, all 20 km of it#
Comms officer: Sir, we're getting an incoming transmission

Captain: Power up the Plasma Pulse beams online! Activate Phalanx homing plasma weaponry!

#on board the CJ Death Chicken#
Egg launchers on line
Egg missiles on line
Egg bombers on line
Chicken Fighters on line
Yellow Beam Of Chicken Death online
 Systems at 50% and holding.
 Do you wish to activate the remaingin weaponry?
 NO
Thanyou. Have a nice day.
Chicken one: Bok bok bokaaaaaawwwwwww?
Chicken two: Bokaaaa boookaaaaaaawwwww!!!
[translation]
Chicken one: What happen?
Chicken two: Somebody set up us the egg...

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"Supernova, ya supernova, supernova goes pop
supernova, ya think it's over but the supernova don't stop" PM5K
Death:"Arnold Judas Rimmer... your life is over. You will travel with me to the-"
#knees death in the groin#
Rimmer:"Remember matey, it's only the good that die young"
"Do not fear the chickens. Become one with the chickens. Respect the chickens and... #BOK!# LEG IT!!!"
The Claw- Project Coordinator and modeller of Alternate Reality and official spare wheel of The Perfect Storm...

[This message has been edited by The Claw (edited 06-11-2001).]

[This message has been edited by The Claw (edited 06-11-2001).]

[This message has been edited by The Claw (edited 06-11-2001).]
"I love the English for three reasons. One, we always beat you at rugby. Two, your wives are always friendly. Three you fought like devils to save us" Old French bloke at my uncles pub.
"One has plenty of time for contemplation while waiting for the endless waves of bad doggie werewolf monsters that chew your toes while you sleep"-Dradeel, BG2

 

Offline Unidan

  • 28
    • http://unidan.stickserv.net/
 
Quote
Originally posted by Grey Wolf 2009:
Setekh, you have a crew? I thought you and your horribly complex AI controlled the ship.

Hehe, I have a Zero system on my Mercury interceptor.  



------------------
   
Let's say it together...
Unidan (YOU-NIH-DAN)
Good, now say it 50 times fast. Excellent, you may now procceed to TSM-20724 2337
I'll think of a siggie later..

 

Offline Sandwich

  • Got Screen?
  • Administrator
  • 212
    • Minecraft
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    • Brainzipper
*sorry, couldn't resist...*

On board the CJ Death Chicken:

Chicken #4: B'Kawwwwk, bok b'kack bok bok!! Kluk'aaaaack!
Chicken #3: K'bok zik!!
(translation: )
Chicken #4: EyeBalls is picking up two massive jump signiatures! Above and below us!
Chicken #3: Launch all Zigs!

Into the depths of space spew forth thousands of Egg bombers, with their accompanying egg-scort fighters. The massive swarm splits up, each flotilla heading towards the 2 new unidentified object slowly closing in on the CJ Death Chicken.

(translation online: )
Egg bomber #234: All dorsal wings, maximum spread. Head towards the object, full throttle. prepare to engage afterburners on my kluck!
Egg bomber #87: Aye, sir. Distance to target is 3 klucks and closing. Awaiting your signal for afterburners.
Egg bomber #234: Ready to engage at 1 kluck... ENGAGE!

The swarm jumped towards the object lying but a scant few klucks before them. At 0.25 klucks, thousands of egg-stermination bombs sped out of their launch orfices. The bombers pulled up sharply, not wanting to be anywhere near the deadly blast of a yolk - anti-yolk reaction.

Then, simultaneously, every single egg-stermination bomb impacted with the object-

And nothing happened. The pilots looked around in confusion for the expected burst of light, but there was none to be seen. One pilot turned his scanners onto the surface of the object, and gasped.

"Ketchup armor!"

Then, the enormous pieces of sliced bread (whole wheat hull, not the cheap white junk) impacted with the CJ Death Chicken, initiating a chain-reaction in the thousands of yolk - anti-yolk bombs that were stuck in the deep layer of passive ketchup-armor and were now completely surrounding the CJ. Instantly, the yolk - anti-yolk combined with the debris of the Death Chicken and made the universe's biggest Omelet Sandwich!!!!    

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"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar


[This message has been edited by sandwich (edited 06-11-2001).]
SERIOUSLY...! | {The Sandvich Bar} - Rhino-FS2 Tutorial | CapShip Turret Upgrade | The Complete FS2 Ship List | System Background Package

"...The quintessential quality of our age is that of dreams coming true. Just think of it. For centuries we have dreamt of flying; recently we made that come true: we have always hankered for speed; now we have speeds greater than we can stand: we wanted to speak to far parts of the Earth; we can: we wanted to explore the sea bottom; we have: and so  on, and so on: and, too, we wanted the power to smash our enemies utterly; we have it. If we had truly wanted peace, we should have had that as well. But true peace has never been one of the genuine dreams - we have got little further than preaching against war in order to appease our consciences. The truly wishful dreams, the many-minded dreams are now irresistible - they become facts." - 'The Outward Urge' by John Wyndham

"The very essence of tolerance rests on the fact that we have to be intolerant of intolerance. Stretching right back to Kant, through the Frankfurt School and up to today, liberalism means that we can do anything we like as long as we don't hurt others. This means that if we are tolerant of others' intolerance - especially when that intolerance is a call for genocide - then all we are doing is allowing that intolerance to flourish, and allowing the violence that will spring from that intolerance to continue unabated." - Bren Carlill

 

Offline QXMX

  • 28
And that is the tale of the birth of the Great Sandwich  

------------------
.....File not found....please enter password

Co-Creator, GroundZero
ICQ# 117983680

 

Offline Grey Wolf

Meanwhile the [shameless p1mp]GTD Wolf[/shameless p1mp], a customized GTXD Mars, jumped in.
Grey Wolf: Stay away from Setekh or I'm putting Maeglamor at Tactical!
Maeglamor: He he, look at all the pretty targets for my beam weapons!
(Sorry Maeglamor, couldn't resist!)
You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?" -George Bernard Shaw

 

Offline Ace

  • Truth of Babel
  • 212
    • http://www.lordofrigel.com
*Sigh*
 
YOU. HAVE. NO. CHANCE. MAKE. YOUR. TIME.

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Ace
Staff member FreeSpace Watch
 http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/
Ace
Self-plagiarism is style.
-Alfred Hitchcock