[Alikchi]

It makes me laugh, it makes me cry.
 http://adequacy.org/?op=displaystory;sid=2001/12/2/42056/2147


"Popular hacker software includes 'Comet Cursor', 'Bonzi Buddy' and 'Flash.'"

[This message has been edited by Alikchi (edited 12-14-2001).]

[Sandwich]

Oh my gosh! It gets worse:

 

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

 

...and worse...  

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

...and worse...  

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

...and worse (this one is really ridiculous!)...  

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Ahhh! I can't take the idiocy anymore!!!
 

Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases.

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America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar, the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)

[This message has been edited by sandwich (edited 12-14-2001).]

[Alikchi]

I feel your pain, man

[Anduril]

Wow. What's really frightening is that it's formatted such that somebody might actually believe it! Wonderful. Now Linux is the hacker OS and will destroy your hard drive, and hackers enjoy wearing binkys around their necks.

Good grief.



[This message has been edited by Anduril (edited 12-14-2001).]

[Admiral LSD]

All of you realise thats a joke don't you?

------------------
"Don't stop, baby, dreamin'"
"Don't stop, baby, lovin'"
"Don't stop, babe, believin'"
Wasurenaide...
"Don't stop, baby, dreamin'"
"Don't stop, baby, lovin'"
"Don't stop, babe, believin'"
...Watashi ga iru koto o.

Official NMCE www.netwerkin.com

[Anduril]

A really bad one.

[Sandwich]

 

Originally posted by Admiral LSD:
All of you realise thats a joke don't you?

It'd better be; look at their Mission Statement.  


1000th post, BTW!!!!!!!    


------------------
America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar, the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)

[Anduril]

I'm speechless.

[Alikchi]

Oh, my God! That's frightening!

[Setekh]

  !

Oh, and Sandwich... congrats on the 1k dude, well done - your presence here has been enjoyed by everyone around, me especially  

[This message has been edited by Setekh (edited 12-14-2001).]

[Kazan]

refere that first quote the AMD corporate - that's slander (or liable.. which ever is the written one)

[Thorn]

 

Originally posted by Kazan:
refere that first quote the AMD corporate - that's slander (or liable.. which ever is the written one)

its spelled libel..
but thats not it, I think its slander...

[Kazan]

im telling www.somethingaweful.com  about that site

[phreak]

pretty sure it is slander b/c AMD stands for American Micro Devices (i'm pretty sure, its midnight and im tired).

This is just plain human stupidity, time for my lovely baseball bat to take over.

[phreak]

 

Originally posted by Kazan:
im telling www.somethingaweful.com  about that site

Lowtax will love this..

[Kazan]

adqueacy's webmaster just replied to my email

IT'S SATIRE!  Could have fooled me and everyone i know.. so Joe Blow idiot Adult on the streets will buy it!

[Alikchi]

Plah, and the little forum things..hehheh I wonder if the people there realize it..

It's hella funny though  

[heretic]

someone's been lurking at WS...

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Currently experiencing the unbridled excitement of interstellar commerce

[Setekh]

 

Originally posted by PhReAk:
pretty sure it is slander b/c AMD stands for American Micro Devices (i'm pretty sure, its midnight and im tired).

Advanced, not American  

[Sandwich]

 

Originally posted by Kazan:
adqueacy's webmaster just replied to my email

IT'S SATIRE!  Could have fooled me and everyone i know.. so Joe Blow idiot Adult on the streets will buy it!

The thig is, some of those things, if not pointers that the child is starting to hack, then at the least possible results of a child who starts to hack. I.E. I would not take them as indicators, but I would not be surprised to see them as results of a change in the childs.... hobby.  

For example, the AOL thing, the hacker manuals (aside form Perl; but where is 2600?   ), social behavior is a maybe, I don't know, and lastly the appearence thing, although again, this can easily change for an endless number of reasons besides hacking...

All in all, the guy sprinkled in there enough sugar to make us think he was serious about the salt, too. Like a friend of mine said when he discovered it was a joke: the guy's a genius.  

------------------
America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar, the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)