Am I the only one who thinks this thread is hilarious?
You both are wrong. Those ain't no cars. This is the essence of a car:
http://www.mil.fi/maavoimat/kalustoesittely/popup.dsp?id=448I'm quite sure you have no idea how badass that thing is.
When you hopped in you wished that you survive the trip. When you were travelling in it, you wished that you would survive the trip. And when you finally got out of it you were happy that you survived the trip. Alternatively you wished that the car would not have survived the trip and would have saved you from a lot of trouble as you would have a legitimate reason to be late from meeting place where the big boss gives you your next assignment (usually ****).
Lets see what car means from Encyclopedia Mikannica:
Car - lat.
Engineus Quadcyclius A device meant for transportation of people (usually of their own free will) that has internal engine which provides power for the translational movement and, usually four wheels of which at least two use this aforementioned power. The earliest developments of car started in the 1890, and during last 120 years it has gone through many evolutions and generations. For this reason, it might be difficult to recognise the original form of the current observable species. The most primitive forms of car can, luckily, still be observed inside Russia. It has been assumed that this is because of the rapid migrational habits of this species, it also seems to avoid cold areas. There is a theory circulating that the species met in Russia are specialised to survive in cold climate and the evolutionary process has led them to their current form.
It has been a constant argument to define what is the difference between Lada [lat.
Succius automobilius - see
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sb78jSc4PI&mode=related&search= for reference ] and a car, as they both seem to fulfil this definition. The opponents of this theory claim that it is possible to go
too deep into the essence of a car, and therefore Lada is not considered to belong to the faction of cars. There seems to be empirical evidence that in order for a new species to be defined as a car, it has to fulfil requirements mentioned in the earlier chapter, but it also has to be able to virtually extend the ego of the owner of a car, usually from the crotch.
In the wild life, if one looks carefully enough, one might spot a species called
Automobilius Stupidus Populatius , easily recognisable from its over extending spoilers and overwide tires. This species can also be recognised by sound, when moving it usually makes "thump thump thump" sounding noise, which can be heard miles away in good weather conditions.
Besides aforementioned species, cars are classified as:
Automobilius Americanus i.e. American Car. Recognised from its large engine and size, usually has two vertical stabilizers as found in modern aircraft. Contains a lot of chrome and luxus.
Automobilius Europa i.e. European Car. Recognised from its small size and usually over optimized and highly electronized engine. Uses a small amount of fuel but lacks torque.
There are several subspecies in Automobilius Europa. Most notable of them being:
Automobilius Russius - Like Amerian Car but lacks chrome, size, large engine, vertical stabilizers
and luxus. Makes this up by burning as much fuel as American Car. It was born in the harshest possible
climate and thus survives almost anywhere. After the fall of Soviet Union its immigration speed has
slowed down.
Automobilius Germanius - Like European car but lacks small size.
Automobilius Italianus - Italian Car, like European car, but optimized even a little more. As a result,
it does not work in conditions differing from its birth place.
Automobilius Francius - Like Italian Car, but tolerates different conditions slightly better. Usually
just enough to lead owner in bigger trouble, but not out of it.
There are reported sightings of
Automobilius Englius , but these are so rare that it is considered a
dying species.
Automobilius ricecuppius - Asian Car, for some unexplained reason the evolution has created a car which is exactly like European car on the opposite side of the Earth. All the properties of European Car fit to the Asian car, but it costs less money and is described as "best bang for buck" in crude terms. Another notable feature is the lack of difference between Asian cars, one cannot recognise different Asian car species until very close.
- End of definition -
The another thing I would call a car, more specially a truck (again from the Soviet Union). The thing looks quite badass and screams pure functionality.
http://www.petrisimolin.com/Thepalsta/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=13994That is how a truck is supposed to look like and what the truck is supposed to do. To go where no man has gone before. Also notice its blocky design emphasizing the fact that this thing is meant for manly work and is not supposed to be silky smooth like the current wimpy, girly cars. All its metal surfaces can be repaired in your own garage with a big enough hammer, repair are even easier: bend the plate and it will fit in. You can see enough of smooth curves in woman, don't you agree? A couple of battle scars and bumps will only make that thing look better! Run it through a ditch a couple of times, sunk it halfway in a swamp, or roll it over a couple of times and the paintwork seemingly improves! How many car owners can say the same about their own cars? This thing indeed has some street credibility.
One word: ThunderCougarFalconBird!
Mika
