Joystick problem.. I've had it too. Either your joystick needs calibration, or it's broken, or its drivers are broken, or it sucks, or combination of the above. Try calibration first, then download new drivers from the manufacturer's homepage... what kind of stick do you have? If you don't have any / don't want to use one, select <none> from the Launcher, under the Audio/Joystick tab.
EDIT: Oh, and
All batteries... target phoenixaurora; Open fire!
Exits are to your right and left, and flamethrowers are under your seat. Be careful, though, as they are sometimes filled with water. If this is the case, try using the broken shotguns in the weapon closet as cudgels. Also, be careful while wandering the ventilation shafts; sometimes Carl the Shivan lurks in there. If you happen to come across him, just toss him your lunch and hope that it satisfies him. If it doesn’t, and he's in a good mood, at least your death will be quick and painless. If he's not... well, that doesn't bear mentioning.
In the event of an emergency, you can and will be used as a flotation device. The Plasma rifles in the forward locker are released only under authorization of an Admin,
, God, and/or hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. Oh, and whatever you do, don't believe takashi, no matter how good of an idea he might seem to have.
sorry taka, you've got a ways to come yet ;)
