He, he...
Powering up Photon Beam Cannons. Target Acquired. FIRE!

Welcome to Hard Light Productions. Exits are to your rear. In case of emergency, Flamethrowers can be found under your seats. They're empty though, so you'll have to beat others to death with them.
If, for some strange, as-yet-unknown reason you find yourself crawling through one of the nearby airducts, you are quite possibly going to run into a shivan. Five legs, glowing red eyes. You cant miss 'em. It's probably just Carl, though. Give him whatever food you have on you, and he should leave you alone. If you have none, take comfort in the fact that your death will, at least, be quick (if not painless).
There are Plasma rifles located in the forward storage lockers, however these can only be accessed by an Admin,

, God, or Hyperintelligent shade of the color blue. Be warned that the door to the Command Bridge is guarded by subspace claymore mines.
The SCP is all that is good. Mention efF esS thr33 at your own peril. And have a nice day.