Author Topic: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....  (Read 9991 times)

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Offline an0n

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
jr2, give up on trying to make an0n do anything. The only way you'd make him do that at all is probably with a gun to his head or something similar...

I might not be here for that long but I certainly know about an0n. And I'll welcome him back now rather than try to get him to go away or 'play nice.'

Welcome back an0n. I salute you sah.

Actually, I'm far nicer now than I was back in the day.

My quasi-fiance girly has pansied my out a great deal :(

Still, given her general awesomeness it's completely worth it :D
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
I'll tell you what, give me your phone number and I'll call you when I start giving a **** what you think.

Right back at ya. At least we think the same about one thing... :D
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline Nuclear1

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
I'll tell you what, give me your phone number and I'll call you when I start giving a **** what you think.

Right back at ya. At least we think the same about one thing... :D
Alright, then can we just all shutup and tell teh funneh stories now kthxbai?
Spoon - I stand in awe by your flawless fredding. Truely, never before have I witnessed such magnificant display of beamz.
Axem -  I don't know what I'll do with my life now. Maybe I'll become a Nun, or take up Macrame. But where ever I go... I will remember you!
Axem - Sorry to post again when I said I was leaving for good, but something was nagging me. I don't want to say it in a way that shames the campaign but I think we can all agree it is actually.. incomplete. It is missing... Voice Acting.
Quanto - I for one would love to lend my beautiful singing voice into this wholesome project.
Nuclear1 - I want a duet.
AndrewofDoom - Make it a trio!

 

Offline jr2

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Like at the second place we stayed, the first night we were there Smithy took the spare pillow from the 4th (unoccupied) bunk and repeatedly blew his nose on it (we later trashed the whole room with a chocolate fight, but that's beside the point).

And I mean like totally ****ing destroyed the pillow.

Then a few nights later, we were messing with the kid somehow (might've actually been the fire thing) and his pillow became unusable, so he gets up and everything kinda went to slow-motion as me and Smith both looked at each other and started laughing as the kid walks over and picks up the snot-caked pillow.

We told him about it in the morning.

:lol:

That's all harmless (if a bit mean, but whatever) pranks.  Putting a thousand degree flame 2 inches from someone's face isn't..

Let me put it this way:  You are very lucky.  One of three things could have gone wrong:

a) Kid breathes in, sucks flame into his lungs.  So, he gets poisonous chemicals + lung burn.  BAD

b) Kid turns and looks at you just as you light up.  Burnt eyes.  BAD

c) Flame follows back into your can & explodes.  BAD

---You really didn't consider any of those possibilities before trying this?  It's just, from what I was reading, you were lucky the only thing he lost was his hair.  a, b, or c and I'm betting there would have been trouble.  Although I can imagine by now that c) would be the only one that would affect your attitude.  :doubt:  Well, I would kinda hope you'd be upset if the kid burned his lungs or his eyes & had to go to the hospital...

K, 'nuff said.. I don't want to hear any stories about shooting apples off of a little kid's head, either!  :lol:

  

Offline Mefustae

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
jr2 completely misses the point.  FUNNY

 

Offline Snail

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
jr2, give up on trying to make an0n do anything. The only way you'd make him do that at all is probably with a gun to his head or something similar...

 

Offline an0n

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Let me put it this way:  You are very lucky.  One of three things could have gone wrong:

a) Kid breathes in, sucks flame into his lungs.  So, he gets poisonous chemicals + lung burn.  BAD

b) Kid turns and looks at you just as you light up.  Burnt eyes.  BAD

c) Flame follows back into your can & explodes.  BAD

---You really didn't consider any of those possibilities before trying this?  It's just, from what I was reading, you were lucky the only thing he lost was his hair.  a, b, or c and I'm betting there would have been trouble.  Although I can imagine by now that c) would be the only one that would affect your attitude.  :doubt:  Well, I would kinda hope you'd be upset if the kid burned his lungs or his eyes & had to go to the hospital...

Thank you for that wonderful insight into mathematical probability, biology and the dynamics of a gaseous combustion fire - undoubtedly gleaned from snippets of vague technical and scientific information present in ER and Rescue Me (and probably the finale of Enterprise where Tuckers get his lungs burned out).

Firstly, reaction tmie is paramount. The flame was (aside from being nowhere near his mouth of nose) not active long enough for the heat to register as a danger, the kid to wake up, realise what was happening and gasp to a sufficient degree to draw air into his lungs.

Secondly, even if he had somehow managed to breath it in, it's a rapid gaseous combustion. Either the fuel or the air would've burned out too quickly to transfer anything approaching a dangerous level of heat into his tissue, and at worst would've left him coughing for an hour.

Thirdly, the aerosol is not posonous, and the by-products of it's burning are only very mildly toxic. If it were poisonous, everyone would die every time they used a can of deodorant.

Fourthly, the flame cannot blow back into the can due to the size of the nozzle and the fact that the jet of flammable liqui-gas is vacating the can so fast as to prevent a sustainable flame - thus the need to keep the lighter lit and in the stream. And even if the flame were to trace back to the source, you still have a half a second at least to notice the nozzle is on fire and blow it out. And all this is even assuming the contents of the can are combustible in and of themselves, lacking atmospheric oxygen to react with.

Fifthly, as for the 'burnt eyes' scenario - the flame would take at least a full half-second of constant, direct contact with the kid's eyes to heat them enough to cause any damage. At worst he'd get sore eyes from the mild warming and remnant chemicals which failed to burn off.

In short: FAIL!
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com

 

Offline Snail

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
You know a lot for a dropout...

* Runs

 

Offline jr2

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
You'd better - an0n might bring his blowtorch back out.  :lol:

@an0n: hence the newspaper headlines when people go to the hospital after such pranks, right?  Unless they were really being stupid... it always sounds like they were doing exactly what you did, except something went wrong and BOOM!

Well, glad to see at least you were thinking a little about safety... err, I hope.. :doubt:  whatever.  He didn't get hurt; and your above post shows you at least care for that, I guess.  :D  I thought perhaps you were a little nutty & sadistic.  Glad to be proven wrong.

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
If I see an0n on the street I might just run him over with a car..

If anyone complains later I'll just say it wasn't my fault, as his reaction time shoud have been enough to jump aside :drevil:
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline an0n

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Make sure you don't miss.
"I.....don't.....CARE!!!!!" ---- an0n
"an0n's right. He's crazy, an asshole, not to be trusted, rarely to be taken seriously, and never to be allowed near your mother. But, he's got a knack for being right. In the worst possible way he can find." ---- Yuppygoat
~-=~!@!~=-~ : Nodewar.com

 

Offline TrashMan

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Don't worry...

I got my driving license and ordered my customized car over the Carmageddeon Magazine :D

You get a nice discount if you buy the MK2 bumper spikes to boot!
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 
Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Well, I'm sorry I didn't get back sooner to this thread but its just another regret for the list.

jr2, TrashMan, obviously I completely agree with you but like everyone has said here already; its an0n. I know that now, I knew it then. I just thought funny story wasn't an apt title for it.

I'd say give it up and stop posting about it and if possible, get back to some funny stories but thats probably too late. And hey, either way he's gotten what he wanted. More activity in the forum. We do need people like him.
Watch out for the Guns! They'll getcha!

 

Offline Ulala

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Holy crap, this hasn't been locked yet? Surely 2 pages of utter derailment is enough for the admins of the Pub to incite justice or whatever.
I am a revolutionary.

 

Offline Mr. Vega

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
This can be called productive derailment, actually.
Words ought to be a little wild, for they are the assaults of thoughts on the unthinking.
-John Maynard Keynes

 

Offline Nuke

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
i encourage the lighting of humans ablaze. to those about to fry, i i salute you! now suffer!
I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Nuke's Scripting SVN

 
Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
jr2, give up on trying to make an0n do anything. The only way you'd make him do that at all is probably with a gun to his head or something similar...

I might not be here for that long but I certainly know about an0n. And I'll welcome him back now rather than try to get him to go away or 'play nice.'

Welcome back an0n. I salute you sah.

Actually, I'm far nicer now than I was back in the day.

My quasi-fiance girly has pansied my out a great deal :(

Still, given her general awesomeness it's completely worth it :D

^As shown by you still thinking this whole story is humorous.

JR2, I completely agree with you. 

As for passing judgement:  An0n, the actions you took as highlighted in this story are sadistic, twisted, and wrong.  I said it, and as to his actions, it's true.  So far, except for a couple people, the only ones I've seen pass judgement on An0n himself in this thread are those saying "Oh, give it up, it's An0n!"  That assumes A. He's a monster and will be gleeful at our disapproval, B. He's an apathetic excuse for a human being and won't give a crap, or C. Being An0n somehow justifies his actions.  None of these are things we can tell for sure for his actions.

So let me say I was that poor kid all through middle school, who didn't have any friends and got picked on and shut out and resented for simply existing.  And let me tell you, it almost killed me.  Nice to meet you, An0n.
Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above, would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky!

 

Offline Prophet

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Well well. This thread is actually funny!

I'll go get some ice cream and watch as you gang up and devour this touchy, whiny person who poked the monster with a broom stick just as it was going to fall asleep. And for thinking he's somehow special for having personal problems. :cool:
I'm not saying anything. I did not say anything then and I'm not saying anything now. -Dukath
I am not breaking radio silence just cos' you lot got spooked by a dead flying ****ing cow. -Sergeant Harry Wells/Dog Soldiers


Prophet is walking in the deep dark places of the earth...

 
Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
lol who said I'm a touchy, whiny person?  And no, I don't think I'm somehow special, other than the fact that I have a certain perspective on such things.  I don't have personal problems anymore, thank God (literally), so you can quit trying to ignite flame wars here and go get some obviously much-needed sleep.
Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above, would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole, though stretched from sky to sky!

 

Offline Prophet

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Re: The Big Ol' Funny Story Thread....
Well you're obviously touchy and whiny since it took you that little time to bare your fangs and strike back at me. You boast you have perspective because you've had problems, just as a good 50 % of the worlds population. And I'd appreciate if you'd stop throwing god at my face. It is infact you who are playing with fire since you are so joyfully dragging that religion here when infact it has caused some heated discussion in the past in this very diverse community. And I'm quite well rested because it's 10 o'clock here (that's 10AM for all you strange foreign peoples).

I can appreciate you obviously believe. Gongrats to you, if infact your belief is true, then treasure it. The fact is that I don't care one bit
I'm not saying anything. I did not say anything then and I'm not saying anything now. -Dukath
I am not breaking radio silence just cos' you lot got spooked by a dead flying ****ing cow. -Sergeant Harry Wells/Dog Soldiers


Prophet is walking in the deep dark places of the earth...