[Flipside]

Bi means, by definition, 'more than one', if it's a stable relationship then it doesn't matter what the persons' sexual preferences were, because they would be faithful to one gender and one person.

If you are having doubts because she is bisexual, it means you are having suspicions that she would cheat on you, since, in no other way, would that bisexuality count for anything. If you are having doubts that she would not remain faithful, then don't date her, if you have a problem with her being bisexual, then you're looking in the wrong place for your reasons.

[karajorma]

Next, what part of "I don't want an open relationship" don't you understand?

What part of dating a bisexual doesn't mean you have to have an open relationship don't you understand?



You know what the really ****ing hilarious thing here is. You, Trashman and jr2 are always stating the whole love the sinner, but hate the sin angle and yet when you have the option to possibly take a bisexual off the market and help her not sin by being part of a loving, faithful relationship you immediately go to the "She's a bisexual and therefore unredeemable" place.

Don't ever give me that "hate the sin not the sinner" speech again cause it's obvious that in your heart you don't really believe it.

[IceFire]

Lots of hiding behind specific use of language and avoiding the real issues.

When it comes down to it...if you two get along in the relationship sort of way then it really doesn't matter one bit.  Be afraid that I'm giving out dating advice but this one is a no brainer even to me.  The other issues of compatibility should far (far far far far) outweigh this "issue".  If you're having "trust" issues then bi-sexuality is not the problem.

[karajorma]

Here's language you can understand:  If I were dating this person, and she became interested in another man, I could out-man the man.  If she became interested in another woman, well... I'm NOT gonna go there!

 A woman who is into you won't stray. If she's become interested in someone else male or female you've pretty much already lost her. And no amount of chest thumping is going to bring her back.

[DeepSpace9er]

Being homophobic requires irrational fear. Do you have an irrational fear of her because she is Bi? If not, then you aren't homophibic. I may not want a dog, but it doesn't mean I am cynophobic. Thats her problem for labeling you as such. You may not want somebody Bi as a girlfriend, but it doesnt mean you don't like her as a person.

[Kie99]

If I dont date a chick because she is Bi then does that make me a homophobe?

Well not unless she's a homosexual.  It does make you prejudiced though.

[Mobius]

I don't mind if a girl I stay with likes other girls. No, wait...I didn't mind.

[MP-Ryan]

Seriously, I'm kind of annoyed with all of the comments in this thread that immediately assume bi chicks are more promiscuous and/or willing to have a three some.

Hear hear.

I'm going to be blunt, and quite possibly harsh to boot, because someone needs to say it.

Her sexuality has nothing to do with trust - it's rather ignorant to assume that because a person is attracted to both sexes that makes them less morally sound.  Downright bigoted, actually.

I'm rather perturbed at both sides of responses here, the:
1.  Bisexuality is bad, you can't trust them, and that's alright just find a "normal" girl, and:
2.  Bisexuality is great, you'll have plenty of open sex with multiple partners if you so choose.

**** off.

She is a person.  It doesn't matter who or what she's attracted to so long as you're the person she chooses to be faithful to.  If you have trust issues with her because of who she is rather than what her actions are, you don't deserve her, and the problem is with you.

And while refusing to date a girl because she's bisexual doesn't make you a homophobe per se, it certainly makes you an ignorant tard... six of one, half a dozen of the other.

My advice?  Stay away, because you're the problem with the potential relationship, not her.

[an0n]

I find it ironic that by dumping a bi chick because he's homophobic, he's being a fag.

[DarkBasilisk]

Try to be a bit more constructive here guys, if you'll notice he stopped posting. Probably because asking for advice turned out to be about as useful as asking for advice on /b/

To drop my cents:
1) The one thing being repeated is pretty dead on: her sexuality has nothing to do with trust. She could betray you just as easily as a heterosexual person

2) From wikipedia, a large number of bisexual people still prefer one gender over the other, although they may change their mind as to which one that is over time. Your concern about competing with men and women may be moot if she slants more towards men. The problem is bisexuality is a term that labels basically everyone that isn't homosexual or heterosexual. So the individual cases vary, not too many are in the middle, most rather shift to one side or the other.

3) Additionally, I keep hearing from my roommate's ramblings that its been studied that women really have more of a sexual preference rather than men who tend to have a sexual orientation, if this is accurate it further reinforces what I said before.

4) Despite all of this, the question is not whether your choice makes you a homophobe, but rather if you think you are one or not already. If it really bothers you that she's bisexual, you probably shouldn't date her, it's just a huge compatibility clash, kind of like having a couple where one person's religion is vehemently hostile to the other's. Things tend not to work out well.

[FUBAR-BDHR]

I don't care one way or the other but if you're not going to date her give me her phone number 

[Sarafan]

If I dont date a chick because she is Bi then does that make me a homophobe?

No.

[Knight Templar]

I find it ironic that by dumping a bi chick because he's homophobic, he's being a fag.

I find it ironic that he thinks he has a shot with this girl at all while being so confused about gender-orientation and trust.

[jr2]

Heh... what's next?  Orgies?  np, dude.  whatever the h*** you want.  I really love my dog, and the feeling is mutual.  Yeah, dude.  Where do you freaking draw the line?  Or do you seriously contend that there is not line?  Because if there's no lines... well, hmm.  Jeez.  I really don't wanna go there.

[an0n]

The important thing is that she's probably lying anyways.

"OMG I KISSED MY BEST FRIEND WHILE WE WERE DRUNK THIS ONE TIME AND THAT MAKES ME SO TOTALLY BI LOLOLOoneoneone...."

A chick by the monicker SaabROX used to hang on IRC. She was like 14. She claimed she was gay because she kissed her best friend.

People are idiots.

[Fearless Leader]

 
I needed this to make me laugh after the goings on of yesterday

People are idiots.

this one is not mearly retarded, I wish it was the case...

I don't care one way or the other but if you're not going to date her give me her phone number 

I'll think about it

Heh... what's next?  Orgies?  np, dude.  whatever the h*** you want.  I really love my dog, and the feeling is mutual.  Yeah, dude.  Where do you freaking draw the line?  Or do you seriously contend that there is not line?  Because if there's no lines... well, hmm.  Jeez.  I really don't wanna go there.

I dont want you to go there either

Try to be a bit more constructive here guys, if you'll notice he stopped posting. Probably because asking for advice turned out to be about as useful as asking for advice on /b/

I stopped posting because I was tired and needed to sleep

Seriously, I'm kind of annoyed with all of the comments in this thread that immediately assume bi chicks are more promiscuous and/or willing to have a three some.

Hear hear.

I'm going to be blunt, and quite possibly harsh to boot, because someone needs to say it.

Her sexuality has nothing to do with trust - it's rather ignorant to assume that because a person is attracted to both sexes that makes them less morally sound.  Downright bigoted, actually.

sexuality does not have to do with trust, being able to make choices does


However, I miss stated before. Bi chicks/dudes cant be trusted as much because they dont know what they want.
Example, I can say "I want a woman that is smart funny and attractive" where a Bi person says "I want a _______ that is smart funny and attractive"

They dont know what they want, if they did they would be strait or gay, so I cant trust somebody that doesnt know what she wants.

Sure, I could do it for sex and try to have fun and 3-ways, but thats not the way I am, I dont share (at least not like that) and I dont expect to be shared.

[karajorma]

So because 200 million men and women fit her initial criterion rather than 100 million women for you that means a bi can't make a choice?

As you stated in your post what a bi is looking for is someone smart, funny and attractive to them. Which is what you're looking for. Does that mean that if a man only likes blonde women he's better relationship material because he can make a choice on hair colour while you can't?

To be honest I'm going to agree with the general sentiment that this girl is better off without you though. Even if she was faithful to you, you'd make her life hell with accusations whenever she even looked at another woman. Even if you were being the smart, funny and attractive person she had wanted.

Jeez.  I really don't wanna go there.

Then don't. It would be a ridiculous strawman if you did and at least that way we can pretend you bothered to actually read a few posts and learn something rather than skimming them in a bigoted haze.

[Fearless Leader]

karajorma ....

you have been watching to much "Chasing Amy" to many times.

Im worried that if I invest my emotions into somebody that is not sure what she wants and she decides she likes girls more, then it would suck. She wouldnt have to cheat on me to decide that.

Anyways, people in here are just as confused as I am, so I feel better now, I did get a good laugh out of some of your comments though (I hope some of you were joking) 

[jr2]

Jeez.  I really don't wanna go there.

Then don't. It would be a ridiculous strawman if you did and at least that way we can pretend you bothered to actually read a few posts and learn something rather than skimming them in a bigoted haze.

See here.  You're so bigoted that, even though you don't skim your posts (and I do read mine), it doesn't make a difference.  Next time you call me a bigot, think a little more.

[karajorma]

You've acted as though bisexual = promiscuous even though several times it's been pointed out that it means nothing of the sort.

I can only assume you either aren't reading other peoples posts or that you are but it's not sinking in because you choose not to let it sink in.


But when you go further and start to make some ridiculous comment comparing bisexuality and bestiality then I'm going to call you a bigot. As I pointed out earlier you're always claiming "hate the sin not the sinner" but when you get the chance to prove it you've gone and assumed that bisexuals are only capable of sin and can't be redeemed and live the rest of their life in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. So not only are you being bigoted against bisexuals you are failing to practice what you've preached.

You've made out that bisexuals can't chose a partner of the opposite sex because that's the same as bestiality and yet you don't want them to choose one of the same sex since that is a sin. So in other words you're saying that simply because someone is bisexual they should never have a relationship and die alone.

Which basically proves you do hate the sinner not the sin.

Im worried that if I invest my emotions into somebody that is not sure what she wants and she decides she likes girls more, then it would suck. She wouldnt have to cheat on me to decide that.

Thing is that that can happen with any girl. She could go out with you and then decide she doesn't like people who like computer games or that she prefers black men (assuming you aren't one) or that she wants someone rich or better looking or a whole host of other choices.

You're elevating the man/woman choice above every other one and treating it like it's special but it's not. While a girl is into you she won't change her preference because it will constantly be reinforced by the fact she is into you. You only have problems if she's losing interest in you anyway. And if you're already at the point then as I said before you're already fighting a losing battle anyway.