[Grizzly]

Always reminds me of when 'Hello' readers in the UK started throwing stones at a paediatrician who got stones thrown at her house because some people were too dense to be able to tell the difference in spelling between that and paedophile....

Or of some of those people who attacked Johan and kicked the living daylights out of him, because his name looked like "Joran van der Sloot" (Do I need to explain who that is?).

If a software can pronounce about 90% of the 5000 word text correctly, English doesn't seem so illogical after all? Or maybe it does - would be interesting to see how much would the software guess correctly if it tried standard Finnish. 100% Anyone?

it's a computer program. It inherits the logicalness of all its programmers.

Over spellingsregels. Elke taal heeft wel onlogische spellingsregels, gewoon omdat het een spellingsvorm een verzameling is van alle spellingsvormen die in de middeleeuwen gebruikt werden. In die tijd had je natuurlijk overal plaatselijke dialecten, en hield iedere monnik zijn eigen spellingsregels erop na. Als je dan een algemene taal gaat ontwikkelelen, komen er gewoon nog wat fouten in te zitten, en onlogische dingen. Maak dan een spellingswijzing, en dan zijn er weer andere dingen die onlogisch zijn...

[Nuclear1]

Hey, I understand some of that! My basic Arabic has not totally deserted me!

I'm a soldier in the Air Force in Monterey, California. I'm American. I live in Fishers, Indiana.

That's the translation.

[Polpolion]

Screw it all. Lets learn Shivan.

Damn. My vocal cords aren't capable of producing electro-magnetic transmissions.

[Mika]

Hah, I actually ended up doing quite interesting surfing trip because of this topic. I should indeed soon get my bicycle back from the service, so I can get back doing the preferred stuff: smacking hands to a bag of rocks.

But in anyways, it turned out that when Tolkien synthesized the Elven language, Finnish played quite a major part in the grammar. No need to write the personal noun anywhere, making a single word a question that can replace a whole sentence, yup, both properties sound pretty familiar. Also conjugation forms seemed to be awfully familiar.

So how it works?
kysyä - to ask
(minä = I) kysyn - I ask
(hän = he) kysyy - he asks
kysyisinköhän - I wonder if I could ask
kysyisimmeköhän - We wonder if we could ask
tehdäksemme - In order for us to do

Then another example of a small error, which totally changes the meaning of a sentence and context:

"Pannaan pöydällä" - "Let's f**k on the table" (no need to explain)
"Pannaan pöydälle" - "Set it on the table" (about moving some crate)
Then imagine a Italian man saying this to a Finnish man when they are moving crates. Usually the result is hysteric sniggering from Finns part and they never answer if somebody asks what's so funny. They will probably only say that they understood what you meant.

So you thought you had seen difficult conjugation forms?

Mika

[chief1983]

That's pretty awesome.  I need to learn how to pronounce that just so I can go to Finland and 'accidentally' say that to pretty women.

[Grizzly]

That's pretty awesome.  I need to learn how to pronounce that just so I can go to Finland and 'accidentally' say that to pretty women.

In that case they will probably think it really was an accident.

Or hope so?

[Jeff Vader]

That's pretty awesome.  I need to learn how to pronounce that just so I can go to Finland and 'accidentally' say that to pretty women.

You might also find the following phrases useful when hitting on pretty women:

- Onko sinulla hirvenpaska korvassasi? Sinun saatana kermalimpo.
- Paljon lunta mutta ei taskolampua.
- Paljonku kourallinen joulukuusia maksaa?
- Minulla on keilapallo nahkahousuissani.

[Mika]

That's pretty awesome.  I need to learn how to pronounce that just so I can go to Finland and 'accidentally' say that to pretty women.

You dare to think they would accept you to carry their stuff when they are moving? The carrying part is reserved for Finnish men only (that and only that).

Mika

[Jeff Vader]

That's pretty awesome.  I need to learn how to pronounce that just so I can go to Finland and 'accidentally' say that to pretty women.

You dare to think they would accept you to carry their stuff when they are moving? The carrying part is reserved for Finnish men only (that and only that).

Mika

QFT. While we're at it, please allow me to translate something partially related that was said in IRC a few years ago. It's quite accurate, I might add:

Barbecuing - men's job?
The definition of barbecue: the only form of cooking that 'real' men use.
When a man makes food by barbecuing, the following takes place:
1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman makes the salad, the sides and the dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat, puts it on a tray with the necessary equipment and takes it to the man who is hanging around the grill drinking beer.
4. The man sets the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes in to set the table and to check on the status of the sides.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat from the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman sets the food on plates and takes them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman cleans the table and does the dishes.
10. The man asks "There, wasn't it nice to have a day off from cooking, luv?" and, when seeing the irritated look on the woman's face, thinks "Some women just aren't happy with anything".

[Kazan]

Of course, German is derived from Latin, so you're partly correct there.

no it's not

[chief1983]

1. The woman goes to the store. -  Only because she didn't pick up enough food on the last regularly scheduled trip to the store.
3. The woman prepares the meat, puts it on a tray with the necessary equipment and takes it to the man who is hanging around the grill drinking beer. - This is not always the case, usually only when she thinks the man puts too much seasoning on the meat, or not enough, so it's her own fault this is required.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. - now that's only when the man is an alcoholic, and not actively using the beer to keep the flames down.
8. The woman sets the food on plates and takes them to the table. - you forget that the man has to clean the grill after removing the meat while it's still hot
9. After eating, the woman cleans the table and does the dishes. - the man has to finish putting away the grill, which can take a while, since taking proper care of a grill is sort of a pride thing for men
10. The man asks "There, wasn't it nice to have a day off from cooking, luv?" and, when seeing the irritated look on the woman's face, thinks "Some women just aren't happy with anything". - I have nothing for anyone stupid enough to say that one.

This is all moot really, because that wasn't defining barbecuing, but rather grilling, possibly with barbecue sauce.  Barbecuing is something a bit different, at least according to Alton Brown.  It has many different regional definitions, but my roommate is very adamant against calling throwing meat on propane or charcoal grill barbecuing, and that it should only be used for  more indirect methods of cooking the meat.  I don't really care though and still call it barbecuing most of the time

Of course, German is derived from Latin, so you're partly correct there.

no it's not

Bit late Kaz?

[Kazan]

dude that graphic comes from the public webpages of the school i go to

[chief1983]

Awesome.  I had seen it a while ago on the net, so I just image-googled 'language tree' and it was in the featured results or whatever.

[Mika]

Maybe we should start a thread of how to define 'real men' and what do they do for laughs?

I first wrote a recipe what 'real men' eat and how they acquire it, but reading it again I found it mispresenting. Anyways, there's nothing like fresh liver fried in cognac in the warmth of a campfire in local forest.

Mika

[colecampbell666]

Speaking of grammar, is meme pronounced "meemee" or "meem"?

[BloodEagle]

Barbecue is cooking with smoke. There is no direct contact with the heat source when barbecuing. Proper barbecuing takes hours. Barbecue that was made quickly (say, at a McDonald's) is known as faux barbecue.

[chief1983]

Meem.

[colecampbell666]

Cool.

[Jeff Vader]

This is all moot really, because that wasn't defining barbecuing, but rather grilling, possibly with barbecue sauce.  Barbecuing is something a bit different, at least according to Alton Brown.  It has many different regional definitions, but my roommate is very adamant against calling throwing meat on propane or charcoal grill barbecuing, and that it should only be used for  more indirect methods of cooking the meat.  I don't really care though and still call it barbecuing most of the time

Fair enough. As a non-native yet quite fluent English speaker, I occasionally have difficulties figuring out all the nyanses between English words that translate into the same Finnish word or expression.

[Wobble73]

An ever so slight

However, my sister just e-mailed me this, thought it was relevant to this discussion

English language!
     
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on.  If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave.  Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.   

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
 
10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.  English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.  And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?   

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?  One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?  If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?  Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?  If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?  In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital; Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.  That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?