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Author Topic: Red Alert Jokes!  (Read 2291 times)

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Offline Sandwich

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Red Alert Jokes!
on: February 17, 2002, 04:52:05 pm
I just thought up a few jokes (puns, actually) concerning Red Alert, so... :D

Select the answer to view it.

Q: What do you call it when Yuri says to do one thing but actually does another?

A: A Hypnocrite

Q: What with Einstien's screwing around with the time-lines of WWII, and with the Allies and Soviets fighting alongside each other, who was the greatest general of the war?

A: General Ivanhower

Now it's your turn!
SERIOUSLY...! | {The Sandvich Bar} - Rhino-FS2 Tutorial | CapShip Turret Upgrade | The Complete FS2 Ship List | System Background Package

"...The quintessential quality of our age is that of dreams coming true. Just think of it. For centuries we have dreamt of flying; recently we made that come true: we have always hankered for speed; now we have speeds greater than we can stand: we wanted to speak to far parts of the Earth; we can: we wanted to explore the sea bottom; we have: and so  on, and so on: and, too, we wanted the power to smash our enemies utterly; we have it. If we had truly wanted peace, we should have had that as well. But true peace has never been one of the genuine dreams - we have got little further than preaching against war in order to appease our consciences. The truly wishful dreams, the many-minded dreams are now irresistible - they become facts." - 'The Outward Urge' by John Wyndham

"The very essence of tolerance rests on the fact that we have to be intolerant of intolerance. Stretching right back to Kant, through the Frankfurt School and up to today, liberalism means that we can do anything we like as long as we don't hurt others. This means that if we are tolerant of others' intolerance - especially when that intolerance is a call for genocide - then all we are doing is allowing that intolerance to flourish, and allowing the violence that will spring from that intolerance to continue unabated." - Bren Carlill
 

Offline Thorn

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #1 on: February 17, 2002, 04:57:41 pm
....the hell?
You sir, are trying to confuse me!
 

Offline JR2000Z

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #2 on: February 17, 2002, 07:54:36 pm
Wierdes jokes I've heard in a long time.
I finally destoryed the Shivan armada and all I got was this lousy T shirt.
  

Offline Sandwich

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #3 on: February 18, 2002, 04:04:01 am
Oh, c'mon! They aren't that bad - are they? :doubt:
SERIOUSLY...! | {The Sandvich Bar} - Rhino-FS2 Tutorial | CapShip Turret Upgrade | The Complete FS2 Ship List | System Background Package

"...The quintessential quality of our age is that of dreams coming true. Just think of it. For centuries we have dreamt of flying; recently we made that come true: we have always hankered for speed; now we have speeds greater than we can stand: we wanted to speak to far parts of the Earth; we can: we wanted to explore the sea bottom; we have: and so  on, and so on: and, too, we wanted the power to smash our enemies utterly; we have it. If we had truly wanted peace, we should have had that as well. But true peace has never been one of the genuine dreams - we have got little further than preaching against war in order to appease our consciences. The truly wishful dreams, the many-minded dreams are now irresistible - they become facts." - 'The Outward Urge' by John Wyndham

"The very essence of tolerance rests on the fact that we have to be intolerant of intolerance. Stretching right back to Kant, through the Frankfurt School and up to today, liberalism means that we can do anything we like as long as we don't hurt others. This means that if we are tolerant of others' intolerance - especially when that intolerance is a call for genocide - then all we are doing is allowing that intolerance to flourish, and allowing the violence that will spring from that intolerance to continue unabated." - Bren Carlill
 

Offline Nico

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #4 on: February 18, 2002, 06:47:57 am
huh, well...:snipe: ;)
SCREW CANON!
 

Offline Corsair

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #5 on: February 18, 2002, 04:45:14 pm
Quote
Originally posted by venom2506
huh, well...:snipe: ;)

:nod:
they're pretty bad.......;)
they're kinda funny but just plain wierd at the same time
Wash: This landing's gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: *shrug* "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?
Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then... explode.
 

Offline Setekh

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #6 on: February 19, 2002, 04:16:00 am
:D

Ahhh, Sandwich... you make me laugh. :lol:

PS. I'd add to the list but I don't know RA very well... :o
- Eddie Kent Woo, Setekh, Steak (of Steaks), AWACS. Seriously, just pick one.
HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS, now V3.0. Bringing Modders Together since January 2001.
THE HARD LIGHT ARRAY. Always makes you say wow.
 

Offline NeoHunter

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #7 on: February 19, 2002, 12:49:04 pm
Quote
Originally posted by Setekh
:D

Ahhh, Sandwich... you make me laugh. :lol:

PS. I'd add to the list but I don't know RA very well... :o


Understood. Now go get a copy of Red Alert 2. :p

Great game though still the same tactics. More tanks, the merrier.:)
 

Offline vadar_1

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #8 on: February 19, 2002, 01:23:04 pm
Thats the problem with telling jokes... you risk them being not funny at all and people laughing at you instead of at your jokes

Of course im not saying this is an example of such a situation... :rolleyes:
"Shockingly, checking Draw Lines Between Marked Icons draws lines between the marked icons. " -Volition quality help files

Projects;
The Full Circle Project (site down - server side problem)
Paradox (site down - server side problem)
 

Offline JR2000Z

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #9 on: February 19, 2002, 02:31:23 pm
Next time kid, do Mama jokes. ;)
I finally destoryed the Shivan armada and all I got was this lousy T shirt.
 

Offline Shrike

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #10 on: February 19, 2002, 03:15:25 pm
Thank god there aren't any more.  I don't think I could take the punishment.
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
 

Offline Sandwich

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Red Alert Jokes!
Reply #11 on: February 19, 2002, 03:35:36 pm
Quote
Originally posted by JR2000Z
Wierdes jokes I've heard in a long time.


Quote
Originally posted by Corsair

:nod:
they're pretty bad.......;)
they're kinda funny but just plain wierd at the same time


Quote
Originally posted by vadar_1
Thats the problem with telling jokes... you risk them being not funny at all and people laughing at you instead of at your jokes

Of course im not saying this is an example of such a situation... :rolleyes:


Quote
Originally posted by JR2000Z
Next time kid, do Mama jokes. ;)


Quote
Originally posted by Shrike
Thank god there aren't any more.  I don't think I could take the punishment.


*throws hands up in the air and walks away*

:D
SERIOUSLY...! | {The Sandvich Bar} - Rhino-FS2 Tutorial | CapShip Turret Upgrade | The Complete FS2 Ship List | System Background Package

"...The quintessential quality of our age is that of dreams coming true. Just think of it. For centuries we have dreamt of flying; recently we made that come true: we have always hankered for speed; now we have speeds greater than we can stand: we wanted to speak to far parts of the Earth; we can: we wanted to explore the sea bottom; we have: and so  on, and so on: and, too, we wanted the power to smash our enemies utterly; we have it. If we had truly wanted peace, we should have had that as well. But true peace has never been one of the genuine dreams - we have got little further than preaching against war in order to appease our consciences. The truly wishful dreams, the many-minded dreams are now irresistible - they become facts." - 'The Outward Urge' by John Wyndham

"The very essence of tolerance rests on the fact that we have to be intolerant of intolerance. Stretching right back to Kant, through the Frankfurt School and up to today, liberalism means that we can do anything we like as long as we don't hurt others. This means that if we are tolerant of others' intolerance - especially when that intolerance is a call for genocide - then all we are doing is allowing that intolerance to flourish, and allowing the violence that will spring from that intolerance to continue unabated." - Bren Carlill
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