[Mars]

I'm beginning to think I'm downright crazy, or stupid, or just selfish.

I keep getting in big fights with my parents... my mom mostly. Big fights, yelling, screaming, glaring at each other, trying to make each other feel like ****. After a half hour of this I'm usually at the point where I want to hurt my parents, but I'm unwilling to do it, so I'll lash out on the nearest inanimate object.

This is less bad if it's an object like a door, which is destroyed by a punch and just leaves a big bill for me to pay in dish, trash, and catbox chores, but sometimes I end up getting hurt, in stupid ways.

I don't know if any of you remember when I came on here after cutting my tendon with a butter knife after fighting about drinking, but that is one example of this. The thing is, it keeps happening, and I don't know how to stop it.

I don't know a thing about mental help, but I really don't have the money to go to a full fledged therapist... but on the other hand, I don't have the money to keep on getting hurt, and I don't have the will to go on like this...


What the hell do I do? I'm trying to get a job so I can move out, but no one is hiring. And besides, it's pretty obvious at least part of the problem is ME, and I want to fix me, so I don't end up being an abusive, destructive person. My little brothers shouldn't have to live with this either.

Weird place to ask for this type of advice, but I had to ask somewhere.

[Stormkeeper]

Learn to control your anger. When you find yourself getting angry, try to concentrate on something totally and unbelivable boring or hilarious. Like the Vasudan pin up doll. Or when you find youself getting angry, repeat to yourself "If I get angry I'm a bastard." Untill you cool down.

My home is like this. 'Cept its my elder brother and my mom. I'm the second eldest, and I usually have to sheperd my younger two brothers away from the combat zone.

[ShadowGorrath]

Whenver I get angry, I just load up some game and in a few minutes, it takes my mind away from the anger, and I feel fine.

[Scuddie]

When I get angry, I let people know damn sure of it.

It works.

[Mars]

Thanks Stormkeeper, that insight really is nice, because I honestly don't know how these events are effecting my little brothers. Concentrating on something random, something other than the situation, is definitely good advice.

Thanks ShadowGorrath, and believe me, I would if I could. In other situations I think that would be an excellent idea.

When I get angry, I let people know damn sure of it.

It works.

I think I'm doing this quite successfully... but it doesn't, in fact, work... but thanks for the thought

[Nuke]

get new parents

[castor]

What are you fighting about? Are you sure those issues are worth the trouble they are causing?
Try to see the bigger picture. I made a small illustration about it below



The white background is the world.
The black ellipse represents your best shot interpretation of the world, field of vision if you like.
The red dot represents your interpretation of the world when you are angry.

See how anger shrinks all your abilities? In that position, when you need to defend your point the most, you have the least ability to do so.
I think it all boils down to what you value the most. If the issues you are fight for are worth spending your life in hole, the maybe there is no choice. Or is there?

[Stormkeeper]

Whenver I get angry, I just load up some game and in a few minutes, it takes my mind away from the anger, and I feel fine.

Unless its Tron and you have to pass a grid race. >.>

[ShadowGorrath]

Whenver I get angry, I just load up some game and in a few minutes, it takes my mind away from the anger, and I feel fine.

Unless its Tron and you have to pass a grid race. >.>

Or if it's taking down SF Dragons in FS.

[Mefustae]

Channel your anger into something productive. Whenever you feel angry, go do some weights, play a violent video-game, torture a family pet. Make sure that when you're feeling right in the head again, you feel you've accomplished something.

[Stormkeeper]

torture a family pet

How is THAT productive?

[Black Wolf]

If you get angry, end the argument and leave. Get some distance between them and you. Walk, ride, drive, whatever. It's very difficult to stay white hot angry at someone for hours on end if you're not actually looking/yelling at them. Time and distance, think whatever you're arguing about through and then go back.

[KewlToyZ]

Sing the theme song..... "I feel pretty...."

[McCall]

Mars, if I were you I would go get some help. You may find you don't need a full-time therapist, maybe just a little advice. There's lots of reasons you might be feeling crappy, and some of them could be down to your age, job, school, relationships, hormones... you get the idea.

Not that I buy into all that hippy stuff or anything. I know of a few people who got quite minor medical help just to set them on the right track. A little wobble in your mental health isn't much different from catching a bug that just won't piss off without antibiotics. Nothing major, nothing to be ashamed of, but it causes you a few problems that can be fixed pretty easily with outside help.

[perihelion]

I'm a bad follower of my own advice on this, but I would recommend that when you get that angry, you need to get out of the house and run, exercise, ride your bike... some kind of physical outlet for all that aggression.  At least part of it is almost undoubtedly chemical, and strenous exercise is a good way to allow your body's endocrine system to clean itself out.  Like I said, I'm a bad follower of my own advice, but, when I have been really stressed out and went on a good long run, I've always felt better and a lot more "in-control" afterwards.  Plus it gives you time alone to think and put things in perspective.

Platitudes about how, "This is your only family," etc. sound rather trite, but I do think it is worth mentioning all the same.  These are relationships you really don't want to sabotage if it isn't too late.  They are human and imperfect like everyone else, but they may be the only ones willing to pull your ass out of the fire someday when you really need someone to help you.  I think you realize that or you wouldn't be asking for help in the first place.

For what little the words of a complete stranger are worth, I hope this helps.

[Nuke]

torture a family pet

How is THAT productive?

sometimes its more fun to torture the family

[Retsof]

I don't think this is helping.

[Nuke]

from what i remember from psyche 101, this **** is uaually the parents fault

[peterv]

Definitely not your fault. Talking about it is the first step to control it. It takes time though so be prepared, which i'm soure you already are.

[FUBAR-BDHR]

Well I'm no expert but if you like hitting stuff and it makes you feel better get one of those heavy bags you always see in movie scenes that involve boxing.  Beat the hell out of it until you fell better.  You don't break anything and all that gets sore are your hands and muscles.  Buy gloves (boxing or otherwise) to to cut down on cutting your hands.