[colecampbell666]

First draft of my ad, without any graphics or the like.

if you want... 

I meant "What do you mean by this" referring to:

i really think a homemade manual along with the original manuals with the items you have put on a disk or in folders with the manuals printed on sheets seems like a safer idea. when you run into a backup idea without known what your doing can be disastrous.

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[Topgun]

your prices are way, way too low. especially for virus removal and pc tune-ups.

[colecampbell666]

So 30?

[Al Tarket]

i like it, however it seems a little too obvious to me.

directly from the zip file.
Alpha 1 Computer Repair
Have you noticed a slowdown in your home computer since you bought it? Maybe you have a stubborn virus that won’t go away. Maybe you need a new PC, or at least an upgrade for the old one. I can help. I offer very low prices on components, repairs, new PCs, or general tune-ups. I live in this community, and am competent in computer repair and construction, software upgrade, PC tune-ups, virus removal, operating system installation.

Hardware installation – 15$ per part + cost of part(s)
Virus removal – 20$ per infection
PC Tune-up – 20$
New Computer – Each PC is custom built for your specified needs, and you can expect to get a brand new computer for 15-35% less than you would pay at a store, plus you don’t get extra costs where you don’t need them.


I already mentioned the idea of creating a manual so you dont get bogged down with the little problems like for example you get rung up

"Hello this is cole campbell666, Alpha 1 repair service. How may i help you?"

"how do i switch this box on?"

"It's called a PC or Personal Computer. press that grey rectangular button, the small one"

"ermm... sir, it dont do anything!"

"Then try the big red one, sorry im a busy man and my head is swamped with people who have other pc problems"

"i understand mister, the big red one.... ermm sir... that just opened this driver bay i think its called"

"aww hell!, i will be right over"

and you press the button and switches on the pc, wasted time effort and money. where as you create a manual about basic computer problems to overcome. it will be far better off.

[colecampbell666]

But then I won't get as much money. And PCs come with a manual.

And too obvious? What do you mean?

Made a logo:

[Tyrian]

I'd maybe stay away from the manual idea.  It would cost a lot of money to print them, with no return on the investment. 

However, if you do go that route, make them training manuals, specific to a program.  They should be short and task oriented, like how to perform basic MS Word functions, i.e.:  How to insert a table.  It's what I usually do.  Don't gear them towards how to solve a particular problem.  That can open a whole new can of worms, like the typical, "I did what you said, but it didn't work."  It usually means that either the user inadvertently misinterpreted your directions or you excluded a step that is obvious to you, but less so to a non-technical person. 

And please charge a bit more for your services.  (Some of my service fees go as high as $250 labor, plus cost of parts.)  Go up to at least $30 for viral extraction and $40 for hardware replacement.  Troubleshooting those issues can be a real headache and the source of the problem can take days to track down sometimes.  Also, stores routinely charge more than that.  I know you're trying to give your customers a good deal, but please don't hose yourself in the process.  The tune up should probably go down to $10-$15. 

[Hellstryker]

But then I won't get as much money. And PCs come with a manual.

And too obvious? What do you mean?

Made a logo:

It needs antialiasing... let me see what I can do about that
Edit: Can you send me the original layered one, or did you delete it

[colecampbell666]

Nope, I have the .XCF. The reason it looks bad, is because TinyPic resized and compressed it. It's a 3000*2000 image.

Thanks for the help Tyrian, I'll do that.

[Al Tarket]

well it seems you have everything under control here. but i wouldn't use a whole page just for some printed a and 1. the manual idea is fine, by 500 sheets of paper over here in Jerusalem it's a few pennies, just print out the basics, printer cartridges are not that expensive if your using a mono printer (not dot matrix ). the thing is you can print out many sheets with black ink instead of usng all the extras, saves time and money.


what i mean by obvious is, you make it sound like you need money badly, and it doesnt say anything in your letter about how much quality or what ever assurances you can give people.

[colecampbell666]

well it seems you have everything under control here. but i wouldn't use a whole page just for some printed a and 1.

Ever heard of a watermark?

the manual idea is fine, by 500 sheets of paper over here in Jerusalem it's a few pennies, just print out the basics, printer cartridges are not that expensive if your using a mono printer (not dot matrix ).

It's cheap here too, but it's the trouble of making one.

what i mean by obvious is, you make it sound like you need money badly, and it doesnt say anything in your letter about how much quality or what ever assurances you can give people.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.

[Al Tarket]

sorry if i am not clearer, language barrier is hard to overcome.

i never heard of watermark before, however i will check it up.

[colecampbell666]

Fine by me, I'm not going to insult someone for not knowing the same language as me.

A watermark is an image faded and placed behind text, such as the example here.

[Tyrian]

That flyer is starting to look professional.  Maybe you can add a little graphic at the bottom of a FS fighter with "Alpha 1" on the side blasting a cartoon computer virus.  Just a thought...

[colecampbell666]

Oh no, it's not done at all.

The darkness of the watermark needs to be darker, and the wording could be more professional.

Tyrian, from what you've said, you're in uni, so what is this? Part-time job on the side? Full time with an actual business?

[Jeff Vader]

There's one bit that poked me in the eye. "I offer very low prices on components". Sorta gives the impression that you are actually selling components.

[colecampbell666]

How about "Component upgrades".




Shots are slightly outdated, check .ZIP.

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[Tyrian]

I'll take a closer look at your flyer a little later.  But one recommendation that I have is to put hard drive reformats under their own separate category.  I consider it to be a somewhat major operation, due to the need to track down and backup selected files (if someone has a disorganized system, and some users do, this can be extremely time consuming and frustrating, and if you miss something, they'll be mad as that file is almost always unrecoverable) plus you may have to deal with M$ support regarding reactivation of Windows (I've never had to, however it does become an issue sometimes if you upgrade the CPU, as that's what WGA uses to identify your system, plus you'll be trying to reactivate Windows when you're not the legal owner of the system), in addition to tracking down drivers (which is especially difficult for some easily overlooked parts, for example, I reformatted a Dell with an Intel motherboard once and couldn't figure out why it was running slower than before; turns out I missed the SMBus driver, which is needed to make sure your FSB runs at peak performance).  I'd charge about $50 for a reformat and tell your customers that it includes a full backup of critical documents to CD, a system optimization, and a guaranteed virus removal, which are things that get done in the process of reformatting anyways. 

Might also want to add a category for system backup and charge maybe $10-$15 for that.  Whatever seems fair to you, based on how hard you think it will be to track down all their files.

On a side note, if you plan to get heavy into system building, it might be a good idea to have a few pre-specced template computers on paper, i.e.: basic starter, moderate use, business use, gaming, God Bod^TM, etc.  It gives you something to show your customers, plus it saves you the trouble of researching and speccing each machine from scratch, as they can be (fairly) easy to modify.

As for my business, it's an on-the-side type thing.  I usually work on contract, so work comes in fits and starts.  I recently got asked by a friend of mine to build him an uber gaming rig of God, which I just finished speccing yesterday after working on it for two weeks.  (That was unique, because I specced it from scratch.)  I'm also under contract right now with a defense engineering firm to help optimize their part model file/simulation database.  So it's been busy. 

[colecampbell666]

But one recommendation that I have is to put hard drive reformats under their own separate category. I'd charge about $50 for a reformat and tell your customers that it includes a full backup of critical documents to CD, a system optimization, and a guaranteed virus removal, which are things that get done in the process of reformatting anyways.

Done.

Might also want to add a category for system backup and charge maybe $10-$15 for that.  Whatever seems fair to you, based on how hard you think it will be to track down all their files.

Done.

On a side note, if you plan to get heavy into system building, it might be a good idea to have a few pre-specced template computers on paper, i.e.: basic starter, moderate use, business use, gaming, God Bod^TM, etc.  It gives you something to show your customers, plus it saves you the trouble of researching and speccing each machine from scratch, as they can be (fairly) easy to modify.

While I'm starting out, I don't expect to get many requests for systems, which is why it should be easy to custom-build them. Down the road I may think about it.

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[Tyrian]

Looks aces.  I have 3 small suggestions, though.

First, in line 4, you may want to consider changing "low prices" to "competitive prices".  To someone who is technically savvy, the prices may seem good, but someone with little computer knowledge might still think they're high.

Second, the PC Tune-Up.  I'd avoid saying you can guarantee speeding up their system.  They might have something seriously wrong with their system that a simple tune-up won't fix.  If they pay you for a tune-up and it doesn't work, you have two options:  do nothing and they'll be mad at you (because you didn't "live up" to your guarantee, even though it wasn't your fault; this has happened to me before) or you'll have to tell them you have to charge them for a more expensive service (which they won't really like either, but they'll be a little less mad if it ends up working; also happened to me before).

Finally, double check that "15%-35% less" in the last paragraph to make sure that you really are that much less than the competition.  Getting caught by a customer for false advertising (even if it is accidental) is something that can kill your business really quickly. 

Other than that, good luck and much success to you.  Feel free to PM me if you ever have questions.

[colecampbell666]

First, in line 4, you may want to consider changing "low prices" to "competitive prices".  To someone who is technically savvy, the prices may seem good, but someone with little computer knowledge might still think they're high.

Done.

Second, the PC Tune-Up.  I'd avoid saying you can guarantee speeding up their system.  They might have something seriously wrong with their system that a simple tune-up won't fix.  If they pay you for a tune-up and it doesn't work, you have two options:  do nothing and they'll be mad at you (because you didn't "live up" to your guarantee, even though it wasn't your fault; this has happened to me before) or you'll have to tell them you have to charge them for a more expensive service (which they won't really like either, but they'll be a little less mad if it ends up working; also happened to me before).

Point taken.

Finally, double check that "15%-35% less" in the last paragraph to make sure that you really are that much less than the competition.  Getting caught by a customer for false advertising (even if it is accidental) is something that can kill your business really quickly.

That's my usual difference when using NCIX + Price check, but good point. Would "Substantially less" be good?