[Stormkeeper]

I accidentally clicked "not junk" when emptying my junk folder. So I get mail from 'admin@viagra'

[Androgeos Exeunt]

I accidentally clicked "not junk" when emptying my junk folder. So I get mail from 'admin@viagra'

They sent me that sex message too...

[ShadowGorrath]

I got a message from a "friend" telling me to check out an "awesome" power tools shop.

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Oh god, not again...

From: [email protected]
Sent: 23 September 2008 05:53AM

Dear [e-mail address removed]!
Get ready to make her happy!
[link removed]
© 2001-2008 Pfizer Inc. All rights reserved.


Morons.

* Androgeos Exeunt marks sender as unsafe.

[Stormkeeper]

I generally don't even bother to open when I see the "from" address.

[TrashMan]

Viagra..BAH! What I could you is something to keep the bad boy down!

[redsniper]

[Hellstryker]

[Stormkeeper]

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Got another one:

From: forest chilin ([email protected])
Sent: 28 September 2008 17: 37PM

Dear Customer!

Secret to young-looking skin.10 secrets to good family night life.You search for perfect xxxlife is over.
How to solve your everyday male problems?
intimate Relationship Problems and How to Solve ThemSolutions For Embarrassing Male Troubles.
Looking for ways to solve male, financial and family problems?
Dont turn your marriage into disaster, use male enhancers.
Top males problems and ways to avoid and cure them.
How to solve your marriage problems with enhancers.
Time to move to next level in your enhancing process.
If your wife became cold, light the fire in her again with female enhancers.
IT is the modern, fastest and safest way to solve all your male problems.
If your wife needs your attention, you can help her anytime.
Dont let your tiny male problem grow into a disaster.
What's your HALL of SHAME?
The fast way to cure your most embarassing aiments. Dissappointing?
Yes. Depressive? Yep.
What to do? Visit our site for the most effective solution..
Visit our site to get the most up-to-date information on problems and the ways to treat them.

CLICK HERE URL!!

Good health.

[Stormkeeper]

[Roanoke]

I've not had spam for years, despite putting my slutty Hotmail account (with comedy address) on loads of forums while car hunting.
Now I'm getting loads. "[email protected]" was the last spammer to have a go. 

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Got two new ones.

First e-mail:

From:     Wins... ([email protected])
Sent:    22 October 2008 23: 20PM
Reply-to:    [email protected]
To:    

We are pleased to announce to you the result of the just concluded X-MAS PROMO of which your email address as indicated was drawn and attached with serial numbers FTS/8070337201/06 and drew the lucky numbers 15-22-24-48-50-37(30) which subsequently won you 1,000,000.00 (One Million Great Britain Pounds) from the U.K FREE PROMO The draws registered as Draw number one was conducted in Brockley,London United Kingdom on the  3rd October 2008.Find below the details of the Claims Agent and contact him with the following details for verifications:
1.FULL NAME,2.FULL ADDRESS,3.NATIONALITY,4.
AGE,5.OCCUPATION,6.MOBILE/TELEPHONE NUMBER,7.DATE OF
WINNING AWARD, 8. SEX,9.TOTAL AMOUNT WON,10.SERIAL/LUCKY NUMBERS.
NAME: Mr Albert Thomas (Claims Agent)
AGENT EMAIL: [email protected]
Thanks,



Second e-mail:

From:     OXFAM GB - UK ([email protected])
Sent:    22 October 2008 22: 23PM
Reply-to:    [email protected]
To:    

 
You have been awarded £850,000 from the OXFAM GB -UK the cash/
 
grant donation Promo Contact Dr.Terry Williams.
 
Email([email protected])
 
Qualification Number(OG/N231/E101/BDB)



Strangely, both are related to the Pound...

[Colonol Dekker]

No bloody way would any million pound  draw take place in Brockley. That'd be like giving away ten mil in harlem

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Got another one!

URGENT REPLY‏
From:    nikolay sintsov ([email protected])
Sent:    31 October 2008 13: 36PM
Reply-to:    [email protected]

Good day,
I am Nikolay Sintsov,personal assistant to Mikhail Khodorkovsky,once rated as the richest man in Russia and owner of YUKOS OIL (Russian largest oil company),chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (a well reputable financial institution with its branches all over the world).
SOURCE OF FUNDS:
 
I have a profiling amount in an excess of US$40.5M, which I seek you to accommodate for me. You will be rewarded with 40% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you handle this?
As his personal assistant, I was authorized to transfer money of an American oil merchant for his last oil deal with my boss  Mikhail Khodorkovsky.
 
The funds  have  since left the shores of America to a European private financial  institution where the final crediting is to be carried out. While I was on the process, my boss got arrested for his involvement in politics by financing the leading and opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party led by Gregor Yavlinsky), which posed
as a threat to President Vladimir Putin's second Tenure as Russian president. Since then, I have placed on hold all transactions concerning this amount. You can catch more of the story on this website:
 
[King Harkinian says "SH*T" to four URLs]
YOUR ROLE:
 
All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above mentioned sum and  I will  re-profile the funds with your data, which will enable the financial firm transfer the sum to you. I have decided to use this sum to relocate to the American continent and never to be connected to any of Mikhail Khodorkovsky conglomerates, presently I am in Burkina faso, West Africa,for a hide out,as it's a remote country.

 
The transaction has to be concluded as soon and as I confirm your readiness to proceed with me, I will provide you with details.
contact me at my private email address: [email protected]
Thank you very much.
Regards,
Nikolay Sintsov.

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Double-post.

I just found another one in my mail right after I posted the above. The original is as follows in italics:

您還沒有一個專屬的企業網站嗎？‏
From:    張彥智 ([email protected])
Sent:    02 November 2008 14: 55PM
To:    [email protected]

山鉧科技網頁設計
 
我們的宗旨：客戶的每ㄧ件小事情，都是山鉧的大事情
 
我們在推出企業形象網站包含前台網頁美工+後台管理程式
 
限時限量專案價 只要$29,900
 
(在送ㄧ年100MB不限流量網站空間)
 
我們做的不只是網站，而是您企業的入口
 
ㄧ個好的企業網站資料即時更新的速度是很重要的
 
企業ｅ化的高品質團隊，打造您的網路門面
 
選擇山鉧成就您的夢想
 
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
PS: 線上購物網站我們還可提供刷卡機制，
　　與線上列印帳單全省超商+郵局繳費......等金流服務機制
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
 
歡迎來電洽詢黃專員（Sam）：0980119812 / 0938764395
 
上網搜尋『　網頁設計山鉧　』即可找到我們
 
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
本公司另外提供關鍵字SEO排序服務
保證將您的網站在Yx / Gx ...排在第一頁
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 歡迎來電詢問!!!
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～


The following is a babelised version:

You did not have an exclusive enterprise website?
From: Zhang Yan wisdom ([email protected])
Sent: 02 November 2008 14:55 PM To: als@ alslab.com.tw

Mountain 鉧 science and technology homepage design
Our objective: Customer each ㄧ small matter, is Shan 鉧 the big matter
We are promoting the enterprise vivid website to contain the onstage homepage art designing + backstage management program
The time limit limits the quantity the special case price, so long as $29,900 (is delivering ㄧ year 100MB not current limiting dimension station space)
Not only we make the website, but is your enterprise's entrance ㄧ the good enterprise website material immediate renewal's speed is very important
The enterprise e high quality team, makes your network facade
Choice mountain 鉧 achievement your dream
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PS: On-line shopping website we may also provide the swipe card mechanism,
With on-line series printing bill entire province ultra business + post office payment ......
And so on Jin Liu serve mechanism
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome to negotiate by telegram inquires
Special Commissioner Huang (Sam): 0980119812/0938764395
The surfer search 'the homepage design mountain 鉧' then found us
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this company other provides the key words SEO sorting service guarantee…
to arrange yours website at Yx/Gx at the first page
Welcome to inquire by telegram asks!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


From how I see it, they're asking for $29 900 to create a website, with 100 MB storage space, for you.

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Yet another one:

Final Notification of Payment‏
From: United Nations Assisted Program ([email protected])
Sent: 22 April 2009 13: 24PM
To:

United Nations Assisted Program
Directorate of International Payment
United Nations Liaison Office - Africa
 
This email is to notify you about the release of your outstanding payment which is truly $4.7 million. The Federal Government scheduled a time frame to settle all foreign debts which includes Contract/Inheritance/Gambling/Lottery (Sponsored by Microsoft and UK National Lottery) and other international loans. News had it that over the past, numerous individual(s) who happen to be impostors (claiming to be individuals, banks and organizations) are claiming to release numerous sums of fund via numerous ways.
 
With the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission we have noticed that people have being asked to pay outrageous amount of money by these impostors for the transfer of their funds to them. We want you to stop all communication that has to do with these fraudsters who have been requesting unreasonable sums of money from you to release your funds which they do not have access to.
 
We have received a mandate and instructions of the President, Federal Republic of Nigeria: Umaru Yar'Adua (GCFR) together with the EFCC Nigeria, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation to commence the immediate release of your funds through one of the following payment options stated below depending on your choice:
 
1. Payment via Automatic Teller Machine (ATM card): This is where you will be sent an Automatic Teller Machine card with Pin also known as ATM card (A Debit Card issued by MasterCard). Upon receipt of your custom ATM card you will be allowed to withdraw $10,000.00 per day by default and you are given the option to transfer funds from your ATM card to your bank account.
 
2. Certified Cashiers Check or Bank Draft: In this case you will be sent a certified bank draft or check signed in your favor which you will deposit in your bank for it to be cleared within 3 to 5 working days at most depending on your bank.
 
You are advised to select one out of the two options on how you wish to receive your $4.7 million. Your ATM card or Check/Bank Draft will be shipped via Fedex Shipping Company and would get to you within 2 to 3 working days at most.
 
DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is $176.99 but because Fedex have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping as stated on their website: http://fedex.com/us/international/irc/profiles/irc_ng_profile.html?gtmcc=us#C10 We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual $176.99 to $135.95 nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!
 
You are advised to contact the dispatch officer responsible for the shipping of your Check or ATM card with the following information for shipping of your payment Check or ATM card.
 
Dispatch Officer: Mr. Jeffrey Tucker
Email: [email protected]
Tel: +234-806-926-6271
 
And provide him with the following information:
 
Your full Name...
Your Address:................
Home/Cell Phone:...................
Preferred Payment Method (Check or ATM):................
 
The dispatch officer will provide you with instructions on how you are to make payment of the $135.95 only for the shipping of your ATM card or Cashiers Check.
 
This measure is intended to stop the impostors you have erroneously been dealing with. You are to adhere strictly to the instructions above for more information contact the dispatch officer.
 
Remember that you are not paying any fees extra no matter what. Once again note that the actual Fedex Retail Price: $176.99 Your Price (Because of our contract signed): $135.95 ($41.04 Savings!).
 
 
 
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Anthony Moore
Cc: Senate President
Cc: All Foreign Payment Offices
Cc: Board of Directors [Fpd]


Persistent idiots.

[Enigmatic Entity]

My "Eetit" junkmail account has about 60 spam messages in it from using the address on some sites [about 3! (no, not factorial)] to get access to things. Half of them are in some weird language, the others I never read. I probably should check some of them for laughs. My proper gmail account has no spam as of yet, because I only use it for "trusted" sites like HLP and All About Circuits (and the new Moposite; yes, so what that it's getting old, but so is Freespace 2).

[Androgeos Exeunt]

Just post them here, Enigmatic. It's relevant and it might give us a few laughs.

[colecampbell666]

Sponsored by Microsoft?