[Mobius]

Until a few hours ago I was damn angry because of my worrying way to react to University life, basically all the consequences of moving to another city because yours doesn't have an Uni and having to deal with people and habits you don't know/share.

I started over a month ago, when I still didn't have a flat in Rende(80 km from Lamezia Terme, the place where I live). I had to get up at 6-6:15 AM to make it to the bus in time. The bust leaves at 7 AM and the "exciting travel" is one hour and a half long(so that I can partecipate actively to the various lessons, which  start at 8:30-8:40).

I have never used buses in such an active way and my habits didn't really like the necessity of getting up at 6:00 AM...the result? An incredible stomach ache that oftentimes forced me to abort, stay at home and get some rest.

Useless to say that I lost MANY lessons...fortunately, however, my old High School and my teachers were good enough to make sure that I could learn the basics(and even more advanced stuff) I will surely need for my upcoming exams.

A few weeks ago I finally got a flat. I liked it, everything was nice...me and my father signed the contract and I progressively started to bring my stuff. When I moved I quickly noticed that I don't like the place...I couldn't last more than 2-3 days there and the experience was indeedly horrible. Today, for example, I decided to get back to Lamezia to feel better("Home Sweet Home!").

My flat mates are pretty idiotic people, too. They bring people and pretend things I don't share. "Everyone has a limit" so I decided to get back and will eventually use the bus every day(it's slowly turning into a habit so my stomach problems are less worrying than they were before).

There's another thing...the contract expects me(well, my father...) to pay monthly for the next 9 months even if I never use the flat. This is bugging me because I feel like a parasite when such things happen.

I know this may be a temporary situation but I'm well aware of the fact that finding a solution won't be easy.

[Ghostavo]

You'll get used to it, trust me. Try to meet as many people as possible and integrate yourself and you'll see it's not that bad. Hell, most people like it.

[Jeff Vader]

This is why I like having my very own place that is
a) a tad bit less than 6km from Uni and
b) a tad bit over 1km from mama's place.

Well, as the crow flies, anyways.

[Mobius]

Well, I forgot to add something...I'm pretty much a lone wolf and rarely talk with people. I have only a few(but good) friends and we rarely see each other(especially know that we're busy with different Unis). That's why I think it's going to be damn hard to feel fine out there - I know it'll be nearly impossible for me to get a social life in that place.

As I said I could void the problem by using the bus every day and go to the flat only when I have afternoon-time lessons...


I know many other forumites have experienced something like this but there are many "features" of my personality that help creating more problems. I have one question, tough - how do you deal with room/flatmates who bring annoying people? Do you fight to get the calm you deserve?

EDIT:

Also, I'd really like to say that I chose to study Geology, not to deal with people and habits I don't like. I can't tolerate the fact that my choice has so many bad consequences which could seriously compromise my profit.

[CP5670]

One thing that helps a lot if you're a commuter is to pick classes that are all on the same days. Not only do you save on the travel time, but you don't have to get up early and feel too washed out to do any work the rest of the day. I arranged my classes like this every semester, so I had 4 or 5 days each week where I could spend the entire day doing coursework without interruptions. In some cases, a review or lab section caused trouble with the schedule, but I was generally able to work out something with the TAs to make up whatever I missed on another day.

As for roommates, I can't really comment on that. I lived at home as an undergrad (it was about a 40 minute drive away) and have an apartment to myself now (10 minute drive). Actually, one reason I did that was to avoid precisely this issue.

[lostllama]

Seems that Mobius and me share the same interests...

With me it was the same kind of experience, especially in the first few months. Deep down I suppose I'm a loner/shy and it's just a mentality I haven't quite dropped or grown out of yet (....which worries me). I think that "feature" of my personality definitely didn't help the experience (I think some people saw me as anti-social but that wasn't the impression I wanted to give), even though I think I'm quite easy-going towards others. Gradually after a while I made one or two friends, but we aren't really in contact anymore.

Having to get used to others' mannerisms is just the way it goes, no matter what you study. I'm sure there are others like you out there, could you arrange a houseshare/flatshare with like-minded students maybe? Maybe try joining a few clubs etc, see if there's anything that takes your fancy and you might meet others like you.

Hope that helps.

Oh and where are you going on your fieldtrips?

[vyper]

It's uni. Don't take it too seriously, enjoy yourself. Believe me you'll wish you were still there once you leave.

[Mika]

The University time was about the time best in my life so far. Along with army service, but for different reasons, of course. I can now see why some people don't want to graduate in order to keep on going with student life. Though that doesn't mean I would think it is accetable. After all, that studying time was pretty worriless time. Deadline, now? Just do it, and you could always count on that you could actually do it with very tight time schedule. In my current job, this is not the case anymore.

I didn't have much problems with University, or with stupid & annoying roommates (mainly because I didn't have stupid & annoying roommates). Instead, my little brother has exchange students from a certain European country as his roommates, and he seems to have developed an opinion that even Hitler was right on some cases. It seems our lax alcohol culture wreaks havoc among the exchange students.

One of the actually important things is to change your major when you still have a chance (that is, during first and second years) if you find that it is not interesting in the University. Don't think that it will improve after a couple of years. It most likely doesn't.

Mika

[Ford Prefect]

One of the actually important things is to change your major when you still have a chance (that is, during first and second years) if you find that it is not interesting in the University. Don't think that it will improve after a couple of years. It most likely doesn't.

Very true. Changing my major was one of the two best decisions I made in college, (the other being smoking pot). I see so many people just plodding through **** they have no interest in whatsoever, and I know that no matter how much stress I'm under, you couldn't pay me to trade places with them.

[Mongoose]

One of the actually important things is to change your major when you still have a chance (that is, during first and second years) if you find that it is not interesting in the University. Don't think that it will improve after a couple of years. It most likely doesn't.

Very true. Changing my major was one of the two best decisions I made in college, (the other being smoking pot). I see so many people just plodding through **** they have no interest in whatsoever, and I know that no matter how much stress I'm under, you couldn't pay me to trade places with them.

Christ, I'm living proof of this.  I'm stuck one class short of a major that I grew to loathe, but by the time I did so, it was my third or fourth year, so it was for all intents and purposes far too late to change.  Now I have to find some level of motivation to finally get the damn piece of paper...and then be left having no idea what to do with it.

[lostllama]

You'll get used to it, trust me. Try to meet as many people as possible and integrate yourself and you'll see it's not that bad. Hell, most people like it.

It's uni. Don't take it too seriously, enjoy yourself. Believe me you'll wish you were still there once you leave.

Wise words. I took things too seriously and I wish I hadn't. Shrugging off enough of my shyness to get integrated was a struggle, I kind of left it too late though.

[Colonol Dekker]

Make the most, srsly... I'm not a graduate but i think i speak for us over 21's when i say Youth is wasted on the young...


Not a dig at you whippersnappers, just make sure you get a balnce between fun and study. about 60/40 in favour of study should be ok.

[Roanoke]

This whole flat mate issue bother me too. I'm 26, in full time work and still live with the parents. I really don't fancy living with people who will do my head-in but I don't have the dosh for my own gaffe just yet....

[Colonol Dekker]

That's exactly my situation although i did move out some time back, married in fact. The financial situation necessitates cheap living

[BengalTiger]

I study about an hour away from my house, here's my answer for long bus trips or paying to live with a bunch of @$$hats:



Now I need some 35-40 minutes to get to the U. It's peacefull, quiet, fast, relaxing, enjoyable and it costs like hell....

The Crown Vic itself was just under $3400, plus a bit over $2k to ship it to Europe (2 years of of working all summer in my case). I converted it to LPG to keep myself from getting a heart attack each time I refuel (mostly city driving gives 16-18 liters per 100 km), but I still need to work like 2 months each summer to have enough cash to pay for the monster.

Then there's the easy way- make a few friends and it'll be OK...

[captain-custard]

buy a big van kit it out to live in , then you can live by the lake by the uni etc , return to your parents and dissapear for the weekend ,at this point you can choose to share your living space with someone cute sometimes , i have done this for all the courses  and training times ive done and it has cost me about 10 times less than renting , yes there are inconveinces , but you learn to work arounfd them but the good thing is when summer vacation comes around , you can go were you want ,

and all the vans and trucks ive had get better mileage than bengal tigers car !!!!!!!!!!! on average between 9 and 12 litres for 100km the only tghing ive had that did less was a bedford mk 500 turbo 4wheel drive army lorry and that was only just worse 19 litres for 100km

[Spicious]

You're going to university for profit?

Classes should never start before 11. I'm an hour or so away by public transport myself. It usually isn't too bad if it doesn't start too early and there aren't massive holes in the timetable. The annoying thing is that maths courses seem to spread out as much as possible over the course of a week and in the past have tended to either start at 9 or finish at 6.

[CP5670]

Classes should never start before 11. I'm an hour or so away by public transport myself.

Ideally, yes, but at most schools it's hard to fit 5 or 6 classes in the day when they start that late, especially on two-day schedules. I would much rather have classes starting from 8:00 or 9:00 instead of having to go five days a week.

[BengalTiger]

buy a big van kit it out to live in , then you can live by the lake by the uni etc , return to your parents and dissapear for the weekend ,at this point you can choose to share your living space with someone cute sometimes , i have done this for all the courses  and training times ive done and it has cost me about 10 times less than renting , yes there are inconveinces , but you learn to work arounfd them but the good thing is when summer vacation comes around , you can go were you want ,

and all the vans and trucks ive had get better mileage than bengal tigers car !!!!!!!!!!! on average between 9 and 12 litres for 100km the only tghing ive had that did less was a bedford mk 500 turbo 4wheel drive army lorry and that was only just worse 19 litres for 100km

Good idea with the van... If you have a bathroom with a shower in it

And if I had a highway from home to the University, I'd be getting maybe 12 liters of LPG / 100 km (I made 10.8 l/100km in the US running on gasoline- in mixed, town and highway driving without traffic jams. Also- propane gets sucked out a bit quicker than gas so don't compare the fuel economy directly).

[Mobius]

Thanks for the hints, I know they come from people with a lot of experience on the matter. I talked with a cousin of mine who described the situation of her sisters(who took a degree, like most members of my family :nervous) ad her brother(who left University after one year). Afterall, I shouldn't turn my current situation into a tragedy...I should simply do what I like. The main task is to study, not to know new people/towns and/or to get distracted.

And yes, it's true, it's pretty easy to find idiotic room mates who do stuff like pretending too much from you and/or bringing a lot of disgusting friends to your flat. Since fighting isn't a good way to solve the problem and talking may eventually seem too harsh and unappropriate the best thing to do is to adapt...or to be far away from University.

I'll try to use the bus daily...there's a friend of mine who hated his new flat and chose to use the bus every day. At the beginning it's difficult, I know, but things become easier. I've experienced it myself.

However, I'm afraid I don't have the possibilty to manage my lessons so that I can end the tough part of the week on thursday(it'd be very nice). At least for the first period it's kind of impossible to do that. I'll obviously do my best to make it happen in the near future...