My preferences:
->Speed is life. Even in an Erynies I keep moving, rather than absorbing hit after hit, even if it means I'll lose a nasty firing solution. It's easier to get back on the enemies tail than to fix the hull during combat.
->I generally prefer to have shields, but then fighting against ships armed with Kaysers and Harpoons (or equivalent) is fun, since you can survive a stray bolt undamaged, but if the bad dude gets aim, see ya in the afterlife.
->I enjoy mixed missile and gun combat, everything from Trebs to slugfests on a 100 meter distance.
->I also don't use matching speeds. I set my throttle to 2/3 and either hit the burners and move closer when I get too far, or hit the burners and do a loop if I get too close. Generally with speed matching and a lead pursuit the distance gets smaller all the time, and if the bad dude slows down, I automatically make a target just as good as he does.
As for the targeting...
The first missions of the TVWP would look close to that of 2 F-22's meeting, except they'd see each other on radar at really close ranges. Other than that- forget BVR and med/long range missiles.
My theory is that stealthy ship design (although they don't all look like a Pegasus, RAM and jammers FTW) could be the reason why combat occurs at hundreds of meters rather than 100's of km, 5 clicks is considered ultra long range and missiles are easy to dodge.
As for beamz:
As soon as you see that muzzleglow, do a 90 degree turn away from it, and even if it hits you, you can afterburn out of it before it ends beaming, taking much smaller damage than if you kept going at it and took the whole duration of the shot.